Gone Fishing
by Milly3c
Summary: What does a straight camera man do in a gay porn business? Fall in love of course! Set in the world of Corbin Fisher, Edward and Jasper are in for a ride. Over 18's ONLY!
1. Chapter 1

**Gone Fishing**

**By Milly3c**

**This is an Edward/Jasper story set in the world of Corbin Fisher. Apart from names and a smattering of details, the CF world is entirely made up by me (starting with the fact that there are no girls in my CF films!)**

**If you are offended by male/male sex, pornography or sex for money then this is NOT the story for you. However if you are not offended and are over 18 then this is a sexy/fluffy/angsty good old fashioned romance, so dive in!**

**If you would like to visit the Corbin Fisher website to find out more about them and see pictures of gorgeous guys visit my profile for a link. (Obviously, for over 18's only)**

**The wonderful Mina Rivera has made a beautiful banner for the story, which you can also find on my profile.**

**Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing.**

**Thanks also to my FaceBook friends for all the inspiration!**

**Also, I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher (I wish!) I make no profit only have fun.**

* * *

><p>Chapter One<p>

"I'm sorry, Sir. This ticket is non-refundable and it's dated for two weeks from now. If you want to fly today you'll have to purchase another ticket." The check-in girl pasted a completely non-apologetic smile on her impeccably made-up face and waited. She was going to have a long wait if she was hoping to sell me a ticket.

I sighed and scrubbed my hands through my hair in my usual helpless fashion. I should have known fate hadn't finished with me yet. "I can't afford another ticket and I need to get home," I groaned, pleading at her. Her expression didn't alter one bit, her plastic smile stayed fixed firmly in place. I could tell that losing my shit at her wouldn't help; it was time to pull out the big guns. I leaned forward on the counter, tilted my head just a little and gave her my best puppy-dog look. I even threw in a bit of a lip quiver. "Can't you please just cancel this ticket and book another seat instead?" It turned out she was a cat person.

So here I was sitting in McCarren Airport, Las Vegas, with about twenty-four bucks to my name. Nowhere to go, no way to get home, no home to go to actually thinking about it and things were looking pretty bleak. I shoved my hands deep into my empty pockets, hunched my shoulders defensively and slid a little further down in the uncomfortable seat. I really shouldn't have just grabbed a job offer without looking into it better first. I knew that but I had been so desperate to get away from my hometown, so in need of the money and just well, desperate full stop. So here I was. Stuck.

Tanya had left me. Well, first she kicked me out of the apartment we had shared, dumped all my stuff outside, cleared out our joint account and moved in with her two best friends. One woman is hard enough to handle. Arguing with three would scare the shit out of me. So I had crawled away licking my wounds and reflected that it hadn't been that great a relationship any way. None of mine ever had been.

"It's like sleeping with a corpse, Edward!" she had screamed at me. "If it weren't for the rigor mortis, you'd have never got it up." Now I wouldn't have minded sitting down and having a serious conversation about what she obviously saw as my lack of well, anything, in bed, but I didn't much care for having it screamed at me through the window while she threw the last of my stuff out at me. In retrospect, I think it might have been a mistake to casually ask her if she had ever considered getting a breast reduction, while we were having sex.

What? Those things are just off-putting, jiggling and wobbling all over the place. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it though. Hence, the screaming, the throwing out, the breaking up and the subsequent homelessness.

And I didn't fight it because she was right. We got on fine together until sex was involved and then it all just went to shit. The fact was I wasn't that interested in it and I was pretty crap at it. She put up with me because I was a good-looking guy and her friends were jealous when I was out with her.

I sighed wearily and slunk down even lower on the hard seat in the middle of the busy airport concourse, nudging my precious bags, which were gathered around my feet, closer together. I spent nearly every cent I made on my equipment and I didn't want to have any of it stolen on top of everything else today. I risked a glance upwards nervously. God, or whoever was in charge up there, might not have finished messing with me. Surely, I deserved a break by now. Wasn't getting stuck here enough of a punishment?

A friend of a friend of, well, a complete stranger to be honest, told me about a job. Two weeks easy money - just turn up, do your thing and then go home again. I recklessly spent the last of my cash on the cheapest return plane ticket I could get and just turned up to do my thing. You see, although I'm good at what I do, hell, I'm really good, I don't actually have a bit of paper that says I'm good at it. I dropped out okay? After finally managing to save enough to go to college in the first place, I couldn't afford the last six months of tuition so I am the proud holder of two and a half years of Media and Production training but no degree. No degree means no job offers and no job offers means that when your girlfriend kicks you out and a friend of a friend of a complete stranger says you can have two weeks' work filming porn videos no questions asked, you buy a plane ticket.

I'd never worked in the porn…er, adult industry before. But how hard could it be? I'd tried to convince myself. I'd filmed all sorts of things as part of my 5/6th of a degree and even more in the three years since; I figured that naked people were just something else to point a camera at. And that I'd never put it on my resume. It wasn't as if I'd go and embarrass myself or anything. Watching porn did very little for me. And believe me, I'd tried. I'd tried watching girl on girl; I mean, that's hot right? But no, it just didn't do it for me. I enjoyed the traditional guy/girl a bit more. Watching a girl being pounded is okay if you can ignore the jigging breasts thing, but it never turned me on so much that it was, well, noticeable. Therefore, I'd figured that would make me the perfect guy to film porn.

Not quite perfect. As it turned out, I had a conscience.

As soon as I'd landed in hot, dusty Las Vegas this morning, I'd taken a cab straight from the airport to the address they'd sent me. I became increasingly worried by the run-down buildings that lined the road the further the cab went. This was a huge city, bigger than anywhere I'd been before and the first impression at the modern airport as I looked out across the runways towards the famous Luxor Casino and the glitz of the strip might have been on another planet compared to the mean streets I travelled on. Boarded up windows, trash blowing down the street - it didn't look inviting. Finally, the driver had stopped outside a building that only loosely resembled one. It had four walls and a roof, but not necessarily all joined together. I hesitated before getting out of the cab, but told myself I needed this job no matter what. I struggled to get all my bags out and just about managed not to scream, "How much?" when the cabbie told me the fare. I had a bad feeling about this. As soon as I had paid him, the cab driver peeled quickly away from the curb, highly pissed off at my miserly tip, which was all I'd been able to give him. I had been left nervously standing on the sidewalk, knowing belatedly that this had been a huge mistake, but one I just had to get on with. With my precious camera and equipment bags slung around my body and gripped tightly in my hands, I had stepped forward and pushed against the building's grimy door half-expecting the place to just topple in on itself, but surprisingly, neither the door nor the wall budged.

Should I knock I had thought? Did you knock on doors of buildings that might fall down - in parts of town that you probably shouldn't announce your presence?

I was actually saved from having to make that decision as the door was pulled sharply open from the inside and a huge man glowered out at me. Huge. I mean it. It wasn't a narrow door and his shoulders had disappeared into the shadows on either side of it.

"What?" he growled. Have to tell you, I was shitting myself. I'd take on Tanya and her cohorts any day rather than that guy.

"Um…I'm looking for…" Well shit, I couldn't even remember the guy's name. To get the bit of paper with his name scribbled on it out of my jeans pocket, I would have had to put down my bags and that was not going to happen on this street. So I 'um'ed' like an idiot and nervously waited to see what would happen.

"And just who the fuck are you?" the big guy spat back. They really needed to work on their customer relations.

"I'm um…" I really hadn't wanted to give him my name. I think I was afraid that if I told him it, he'd steal it.

"I'm a videographer, I've been hired…"

"A what?"

"Um… a camera man. For filming. Videos…"

"Masen." Turned out he'd stolen my name already.

"Yes," I replied weakly, and gripped onto my bags more tightly. You never knew.

"He's expecting you. Get in here, we're behind schedule." Not exactly a warm welcome to the company. My mouth as dry as the surrounding desert, I followed him into the dimly lit building and felt a shudder of apprehension chase up my spine as he shut and re-locked the door behind me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this had been a mistake. I knew it even more ten minutes later.

He led me away from the relative safety of the door and into the gloom of a huge warehouse type of place and I looked around me, half-curious, half-scared shitless. There were a series of rooms inside the building, all set up as different sets. A bedroom, of course, an office, equally of course, a prison - not so sure about that one - and a torture chamber. Definitely not my thing. But it wasn't the sets that had worried me - it was the actors. I saw girls. Girls who did not all look like they wanted to be there. And big guys standing around making sure that they didn't go anywhere. I swallowed nervously, calling myself every name under the sun for getting myself into this. I really, really knew I had made a huge mistake. If these girls were more than sixteen, I'd eat my camera. And the bag.

There was a low budget, transient sort of look to the place as if nothing was so important it couldn't be left behind at a moment's notice and I'd realised that that was probably what was going to happen. My steps slowed and I had a good hard talk with myself for about two seconds. It didn't take any longer than that. I knew that this was wrong and that I wanted out.

A few of the girls had looked at me curiously but none of the big guys had taken any notice of me. The big scary doorman had disappeared into the gloom in front of me and I was left alone, clutching my bags among a small crowd of people that I didn't want to be a part. Despite my complete aversion to confrontation, I had taken a small tentative step backwards and waited. No one took any notice. Cautiously releasing the breath I was holding, I took two more backwards steps. There was still no reaction around me. Gripping onto my bags for dear life, with my stomach churning and my heart pounding, I had turned and tried not to run back towards the door. Every part of me wanted to break into a sprint.

The door was firmly locked from the inside but I fumbled with the locks, wrenched it open and stumbled through. I just started walking in what I hoped was the direction the cab had come from. That had all been so wrong. So very wrong. I should have known. I should have realised that no one hires a videographer with no degree and no credentials except scummy adult entertainment people who get their 'actors' from God alone knew where. I walked faster. I'd never fall for such a job offer again. I'd never even consider working in such a sleazy industry. I walked faster still, breaking into a jog despite my heavy bags. I vowed I'd never even watch porn again - after all, it was a waste of my time anyway. The cracked sidewalk had flown beneath my feet as I fled my failure.

Twenty minutes later, and at last the buildings I passed didn't all look like they should be condemned and no one had tried to steal my bags, so I'd slowed down a bit and thought about my options. Well, frankly I hadn't got any. I had no money for a hotel so going back to the airport was the only thing I could have done. Once back home, I would have to crash on a friend's sofa until I managed to get back on my feet again. It was a depressing thought.

As I walked, well, okay, trudged, I saw a woman chatting animatedly into a payphone. She hung up as I got closer and I was drawn towards the phone, knowing that there was something I needed to do. Doing my best to juggle all my bags without putting any down and being thankful for the first time that I went to the gym regularly, I managed to get the receiver to my ear and dialled 911. Whatever was going on in that warehouse had to be reported.

After that, it had been a long demoralising walk back to the airport. I'd caught a bus for the last stretch, the late afternoon heat making it too much to walk any further and now, I was sitting here at check-in, unable to check-in or buy a ticket or pay for a hotel room or pretty much anything else either.

It was a shitty day, topping off what had been a shitty month. I had nothing to do but sit and people watch, and I preferred doing that to actually thinking about my own miserable situation. As I absently watched, a blonde woman was having an argument with the same check-in girl I had spoken to earlier. She didn't seem to be having any more luck than I had, and I watched enviously as she handed over her credit card crossly and was rewarded with a ticket. If only.

I could see the sun setting through the huge picture window and any other day I would have been reaching for my camera. The mix of people, sharp architecture and soft rose light were enthralling. But not today. I concentrated on watching the crowd. The airport didn't seem to have become any quieter since this morning. If anything, it was busier than it had been earlier - people flying in to enjoy a night on the strip maybe. I focused my attention on some of the people. Anything so I didn't have to think about my situation for just a few more minutes. An elderly couple ambled slowly past deep in what seemed to be a discussion about bunions, closely followed by a handful of teenagers who had broken loose from their parents and were looking to sneak off to try their luck on some of the many slot machines. I huffed amused, only in Vegas would there be slot machines next to the baggage carousels. A tall, forty-something man began pacing up and down, trying to get a signal on his cell and a harassed young mother resorted to bribery to keep her toddler quiet. All pretty normal.

I sighed. So much going on around me, and I had nothing - nothing to do, nowhere to go and no means to go anywhere anyway.

The cell phone man got a signal as he passed in front of me and began speaking into his phone. "Micha, he's a no-show. Have you heard anything from him?" I wondered vaguely why his guy hadn't shown up.

"Car accident?"

Ah, that would be why then.

"Did he say…? A few weeks. Fuck, Micha, can't he just…? Well, no, I guess you're right." The man had stopped pacing in front of me and I could hear the faint sounds of a woman's voice coming from the phone. When she paused, the tall man sighed and replied, "Okay, well is there anyone else available? Who else do we know who could do it?" He turned around and his eyes fixed on the empty space on the bench next to me. As he approached, he gestured to the space in a universal 'Is this seat free?' kind of gesture and I replied with a just as universal 'Help yourself'. I reflected for a moment that guys were so much easier to understand than women, who would have never been satisfied with a quick gesture when an entire conversation could have been had.

The man sat down wearily, rubbing the back of his neck as he continued his conversation. "I don't want to have to cancel. Most of the models have turned up on time for once."

I leaned down and pulled my bags to one side not wanting him to trip over them, before picking up my camera bag, intending to check my ruinously expensive camera over after the trying day we had had together.

"Where the hell am I going to find another camera operator at this time of day?" asked the man next to me into the phone, agitation tainting his voice. I stilled and turned, my surprised eyes meeting the equally surprised eyes of the man next to me. He looked assessingly from my waterproof, dust-proof, pretty much everything-proof camera bags to me and then muttered into the phone, "I'll call you back," before swiftly ending the call.

He frowned as he looked at me, wrinkling his bushy brows and judging me on who knows what. I began to wish that I didn't look quite so sweat-stained and frazzled. After what felt like a long time, he extended his hand towards me in another universally known gesture and said, "Hello. I'm Corbin, good to meet you."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm new to the world of writing Slash so please be gentle with me and let me know what you think of<strong> the first chapter! <strong>**


	2. Chapter 2

Gone Fishing

By Milly3c

This is an Edward/Jasper story set in the world of Corbin Fisher. Apart from names and a smattering of details, the CF world is entirely made up by me (starting with the fact that there are no girls in my CF films!)

If you are offended by male/male sex, pornography or sex for money then this is NOT the story for you. However if you are not offended and are over 18 then this is a sexy/fluffy/angsty good old fashioned romance, so dive in!

If you would like to visit the Corbin Fisher website to find out more about them and see pictures of gorgeous guys visit my profile for a link. (Obviously, for over 18's only)

The wonderful Mina Rivera has made a beautiful banner for the story, which you can also find on my profile.

Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing.

Thanks also to my FaceBook friends for all the inspiration!

Also, I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher (I wish!) I make no profit only have fun.

* * *

><p>Gone Fishing<p>

_He looked from my waterproof, dust-proof, pretty much everything-proof camera bag to me and then said into the phone, "I'll call you back," before ending the call._

_Assessing me, his eyes narrowed, taking me in and I began to wish that I didn't look quite so sweat-stained and frazzled. After what felt like a long time, he extended his hand towards me in another universally known gesture and said, "Hello. I'm Corbin, good to meet you."_

Chapter Two

I shook his hand.

It would have been rude not to - though all the lectures about not talking to strangers that my parents had tried to drill into me as a kid came rushing back. I ignored my parents' voices as usual, and decided to see what this man wanted. And besides, I think he seemed okay.

"Hi. I'm Edward," I replied cautiously, sitting up a bit straighter. Not exactly sparkling wit but not too rude either, I hoped.

"Are you a professional?" Corbin asked raising his thick, dark eyebrows and nodding at my distinctively branded, very expensive camera bags.

I hesitated. 'I'm 5/6th a professional,' I could have replied, or, 'No, I never graduated but I'm good, honest.'

I settled for the easy answer, though it made my stomach churn since it was kind of a lie. "Yes, I am." God, I hated lying.

Indicating his iPhone he asked, "Got a demo I can watch?" He looked expectantly at me and my heart rate picked up a bit. I didn't know whether to be excited or terrified that this Corbin guy was interested in my work. Who was he exactly?

I licked my dry lips nervously and replied, "Um, yeah sure." What professional or amateur didn't have their work all over YouTube at least? I actually had a really nice portfolio put together and a website to showcase it on. It's great what you can do for free these days.

He bent his head towards his phone, his curly dark hair hanging forward over his face as he tapped in the web address I gave him.

My work looked good, even if I say so myself. From some amazing wildlife shots I'd taken while power gliding, to some newsreel-type stories about life on the streets, I'd covered nearly every genre, and it looked good. I slunk down lower in my seat again as I watched it. I really did have some talent. How the hell had I let myself end up in Las Vegas mixed up in the sleazy porn industry?

Because after the complete crapfest with Tanya I needed the money, that's how. I needed it so badly that I now had no way to get home, I reminded myself bitterly.

"I need a videographer tonight," Corbin announced, suddenly looking back up at me and fixing me with his intense gaze. "My regular guy can't make it."

I jumped at being spoken to again, having slipped into introspection and I just nodded at him in response.

"It's one shoot - a couple of hours work. You interested?"

I nodded mutely again, as I wondered if my desperation for money was showing somehow and I knew I should really think twice about this.

Boring into me with his assessing look again, he added warningly, "Absolute discretion needed."

Looking at him sharply now, my concentration at last re-focused. Okay…that was a bit worrying. I thought about this morning's fucked up job offer and said hurriedly, "Nothing illegal." Then, because I realised I'd just insulted the man, I hastily added, "I mean, I just want to let you know that… I'm not available for anything… only… um… for some things." Shit! Could I sound any more of an idiot?

But he just smiled at me with a crinkly eyed don't-worry-it's-okay and I-know-something-you-don't-know kind of smile. That was one hell of a mix, I can tell you.

"Yeah, I can see that about you Edward," he replied, in his slow measured voice, as he looked me up and down. "Don't worry, I think you'll fit in with us very well and yes, it's legal. I pay taxes and everything," he added, with a wink.

I was stuck. Literally stuck at this airport if I didn't make some money and emotionally stuck too. Hadn't I promised myself just a few minutes ago that I'd never again get involved in something without asking questions first? But how the hell was I going to get home without any money? "Can you tell me more about it?" I asked carefully, hoping he'd tell me something to magically set my mind at ease. "I'd like to know what I'm going to be involved in."

"Well," he replied slowly, "I could tell you about it, but it's easier just to show you." He stood up straightening his rumpled linen jacket. "Come on, Edward, give it a try. Do you need to go back to your hotel for anything?"

I shook my head weakly, a bit stunned by the turn of events. "No, I was just on my way home," I muttered. It was going to be a two week journey but he didn't need to know that.

"Okay, we'll put you up for the night when you've finished the shoot," he responded quickly and seeing that I was still hesitant, he continued. "Come and see how you get on tonight. If I like your work and you want to stay and work the rest of the week too, we'll discuss it in the morning."

I hesitated.

Fuck.

Could I really say no?

No, I couldn't. "Where are we going?" I queried, standing up and gathering up my bags. My muscles protested with a series of sharp aches, reminding me that I'd had a long day already.

"To my house," Corbin replied. I put my bags down again. Hell no. He laughed a loud barking laugh at my reaction. "Relax, Edward! The place is like a hotel! There's loads of people staying there. Tonight there's about ten models, my house manager, Micha, who I was just talking to, the housekeeper, the list is endless. And you can leave any time you want, if you're not comfortable," he promised.

This was how people disappeared I found myself thinking - how a person became just a number, a statistic. However, I was desperate and there was just something about him. He just seemed quietly trustworthy, somehow.

I sighed.

What the fuck? Things couldn't get much worse anyway.

Stoically picking my bags up again, I wondered what sort of job it was. Corbin had mentioned models, so was it advertising or some sort of promotional video?

Before I knew it, I was walking with him through the crowded terminal.

"Is this your first time in Vegas?" Corbin asked conversationally, as we made our way towards the main exit doors.

"Yeah," I replied, "never been here before." Never want to come here again.

At my tone, he turned and looked at me, frowning his bushy browed frown again. "What brought you here?" he asked curiously.

My guts giving a guilty squirm again, I sighed. It was best to be truthful with him in case things worked out and there actually was a job going. On the other hand, I didn't want to own up to how stupid I had been and how naively shocked at what I had seen.

"I came out here for a job," I replied truthfully. "But it didn't work out," I finished not quite so truthfully.

He nodded though, in satisfaction, and as we stepped out into the warmth of a desert evening replied, "Well, I hope this one works out for you."

I hoped so too.

He headed over to a shiny grey car parked in a no-parking area, reached around me to open the rear door and nodded for me to get inside. Was this stupid mistake number two today? I didn't care. At this point, I was just going to go with it.

"Daryl, this is Edward," Corbin rumbled in his deep voice as he got in the car after me. I attempted a smile in the direction of the driver as I struggled to organise my bags on the leather seat. "Edward's going to film the scene with me tonight." Corbin continued. "Edward, this is Daryl. He works at the studio almost every day, practically lives there!"

Daryl nodded amicably to me through the mirror as he pulled the car out into the traffic and we were on our way - to wherever. I only hoped I wouldn't live to regret it, or not live, as the case may be.

I spent most of the journey anxiously looking through the tinted window at the passing buildings and streets. I didn't start to relax until it became clear that wherever we were going it was in a hell of a better neighbourhood than my previous job offer had been. The scene couldn't have been more different from this morning. We were driving through residential areas, with beautiful houses surrounded by the greenest lawns I'd ever seen. How did they do that in the middle of the desert? We turned down another street and the houses were set way back from the road, most with tall electric gates, trees and bushes protecting them from prying eyes. It was into the drive of one of these houses that Daryl turned, grinning at me over his shoulder as he announced, "Welcome to Casa de Corbin."

The tall, green painted gates swung open and we pulled down the drive towards an amazing looking house. All modern lines, white paint and huge windows. Over to the side was a separate garage building, with a basketball hoop over the doors and a three-point line painted on the tarmac. I could just see a glimpse round the back of the garage as the car swept past gardens, lawns, gazebos and was that a trampoline? This was Corbin's house? Or wait, had he said studio or hotel?

"Come on, Edward," prompted Corbin, opening my door. "I'll give you a run down on this place and find you a room."

I jumped. I was so busy staring out of the window trying to work out what was going on, I hadn't realised we'd stopped. As I got out, and, once again collected my bags, four guys came around the corner onto the basketball court and started throwing a ball around. Pausing, I looked at them; they were amazingly good-looking guys. Three with their shirts off, their lightly tanned torsos looking taut and fit. They sure did have good-looking guys here in Las Vegas.

Tearing my eyes away, I obediently followed Corbin into the bright modern house, entering a vast open-plan ground floor with huge white sofas, brightly coloured rugs and fresh green plants everywhere making the place look comfortable and inviting.

"Sharon!" shouted Corbin behind me, making me jump again. "Sorry," he chuckled darkly, seeing my reaction. "Just need to ask Sharon what room we've got for you. She's our housekeeper. She knows where everyone is." As he spoke, a cheerful looking woman with long dark hair bouncing around her shoulders approached and slapped Corbin playfully on the arm.

"There's no need to shout you know," she rebuked, but she had the air of someone who was resigned to being bellowed at by this man.

"Sharon, this is Edward. What space have we got for him?" Corbin asked her quickly and I smirked, knowing he was trying to deflect a telling off. "If we've got a separate room that'd be great since he's got a lot of baggage." I bristled at the implication that I was a heavy packer.

"Equipment," I mumbled defensively, as I shook Sharon's proffered hand. She smiled cheerily as she took in my bags that were strewn around my feet.

"Yeah, I can see that. There's the blue room on the top floor, that's free. It's not very big," she apologised to me with a smile. "But at least you won't have to bunk with the other guys and put up with their snoring."

Corbin chuckled again, a deep rumbling sound. "Hell, yeah, one of the new guys sounds like a train. Have you heard him?"

"Have I ever?" she muttered grimly. "Kept me awake half the night." She turned and looked at my many bags and me. "Want me to show him up, Corbin?"

"No, it's okay, I'll show him up and then, Edward," he continued, turning to me, "I'll show you where we'll be working. There's not much time I'm afraid. Are you okay with twenty minutes to freshen up?"

I blinked, still not knowing what I was actually here for but I didn't like to say no. At least my instinctive reaction wasn't to run away, like this morning, which was something.

"I'll bring you up a drink and a sandwich," Sharon offered kindly. "You look like you've had a long day already. But don't get used to it mind," she added jokingly. I smiled weakly back in return, glad of the offer of food, glad for the presence of a regular seeming woman in this house, glad that this might not be some elaborate plot to kidnap desperate videographers from airports to do God knows what with.

"Thanks, that would be nice," I replied gratefully, if rather wearily. My head was spinning. This beautiful house, so many people, what on earth went on here that they could possibly need me for? I grabbed up my bags again and followed Corbin through the spacious downstairs rooms to the staircase.

"Corbin?" I asked in exasperation as we started up the light oak stairs, "What the hell is it you want me to do exactly?"

He glanced at me as we walked and then casually replied over his shoulder without breaking his stride, "I want you to film some porn, Edward. That's what I want you to do."

I stopped walking, my foot still raised above the tread, and shook my head bewildered. Had I heard him correctly? My mind flashed back to the dark, decrepit building I had been in this morning. Now that was the kind of sleaze that I associated with porn, not this... this comfort, this normality.

"Porn," I echoed weakly, "as in, er, sex?"

He stopped walking up the stairs as well and turned to look back down at me. "Sex is just sex," he replied evenly. "Like eating food is eating food. It's one of the things we all do."

Some of us not so well, I mentally added.

"The two models we're filming tonight are two of our most experienced and completely professional; they're good at what they do. I need you on second camera to film what they do. Can you handle that for me?"

I'd been expecting it this morning, but to walk into this stunning house and to be confronted with the idea of getting up close and personal with a couple having sex seemed completely incongruous. Glancing around, I took in again the house, the furnishings, the comfortable relaxed atmosphere. Where was the sleaze? Where was the underworld that I associated with porn? It was a million miles from here.

"Come on Edward," encouraged Corbin. "I'll show you to your room and tell you a bit more about us." With an uncomfortable weight in my stomach, I hesitantly followed him. As we resumed our journey up the stairs, he spoke in his low relaxing voice. "I'm very proud of this company. We're an internet-based company, providing high-quality adult content for paying members. All our models are carefully selected and checked, and we don't work with anyone who we are not comfortable with." We passed the landing to the second floor and he looked at me and explained, "This is where the models rooms are, and a couple of rooms we use for our scenes. Staff are mainly upstairs." We started up the second flight of stairs as he continued, "Everything is produced in-house so we have complete control over what is shown to the public. We look after our models and they work hard to give us what we want. I shoot most of the scenes myself together with Connor or Pete but, Pete's scheduled elsewhere and, as you know, Connor can't make it tonight."

We reached the top of the stairs and Corbin opened a door a few steps down the corridor and glanced inside. "This is you," he announced. "Get settled in then come back down to the big room at the end of the corridor downstairs. I'll tell you more about what I want you to do this evening. We have cameras if you don't want to use yours. It's up to you."

I must have still had a stunned look on my face because he clasped a hand on my shoulder and added solemnly, "Edward, it's just a job. Can you do it?" Swallowing hard, I nodded mutely, because yes I could do it. I was just surprised. He nodded back. "Good, see you downstairs soon," and quickly left the room, leaving the door open behind him.

Dropping my bags with a barely suppressed moan, I sank down onto the edge of the comfortable bed in the comfortable room, and reflected that things couldn't have been more different from this morning. The uncomfortable twisting in my stomach was still there, but Corbin was right. Sex was sex, right? I had been ready and prepared to see it and film it before; I could do it now. Breathing deeply and looking around the room, I snorted an incredulous laugh; a guy and a girl naked in front of me having sex. Here? It seemed crazy.

The room I was apparently sleeping in tonight was decorated in pale blue and had navy bedding, a couple of white wood nightstands and a matching wardrobe; fairly sparse but really nice. Curiously, I got up from the bed and went to look out of the window. I could barely see the surrounding houses and I caught a glimpse of a high white painted wall around the large gardens. Just around the corner of the building, there was a pool with a couple of guys sitting on the edge of it. I assumed the girls were out there too, where I couldn't see them. It all looked like a pretty neat set up.

The pool looked refreshing and I was just wondering if I had time to take a shower, when Sharon knocked on my door and leant on the frame, a plate of sandwiches and a drink in her hands. Smiling she said, "Takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"

I ran my hands through my hair and let out a pent up breath. "Yeah, it does."

Watching my agitated movements, Sharon said, "Corbin's a good guy; he takes care of everyone who works for him." Seeing I wasn't convinced, she added, "I've worked for him for three years now. Do you think I'd stick around if I didn't trust him?"

"Do they really make porn here?" I blurted out. "In this house, here?"

She laughed. "Hard to believe it, but yeah, they do. I don't have anything to do with that side of things. I keep everyone fed and watered and make sure they're all comfortable, but all the staff are great and the models are all here because they want to be. Corbin pays them well, treats them well and everyone usually has a great time while they're here." She offered the plate she was holding to me. "Eat it while it's fresh. There's plenty more in the kitchen if you want, just help yourself."

Nodding, still feeling slightly numb, I reached over and took the plate and glass from her. "Thanks," I mumbled, and she gave me another wide smile then whisked away round the corner.

Munching on the sandwich, I thought about what she and Corbin had said. A job was a job and it definitely didn't seem at all bad here. Perhaps I should just relax and go with it. I'd be paid for working tonight so I'd be able to fly home tomorrow, or maybe, Corbin would hire me for the week and I could make a decent amount. Though, how much porn did they actually film here? How much porn did an internet-based, adult content website need? I had no idea but now probably wasn't the best time to think about it. Twenty minutes Corbin had said.

Carefully, I put all my equipment bags into the bottom of the wardrobe, pushing them back into the shadows. It wasn't much but it made me feel a bit better about leaving my precious equipment here in a strange room and a strange house. Then deciding that a shower was pretty much a necessity, I quickly grabbed my towel and wash things out of my bag and ventured out into the hall to look for one. I really should have thought of asking Sharon where one was when she was here, I berated myself.

Looking down the corridor, I saw that nearly all the doors were closed and there were a lot of them. This house was huge! Wandering a bit further, I came to an open door that led to an enormous shower room. I grinned when I saw it. It was amazing inside - a wet room, all tiled with little sand coloured tiles and enough room for several people at least. Locking the door, I quickly stripped off my sweaty rumpled clothes and turned the showers on. It was heaven! Several different showerheads sprayed water onto me from different directions at once. The warmth and the sheer pleasure of the water streaming against my body made me relax for the first time all day. Oh man, it was one hell of a shower! There was even a bench running along one wall of the shower area. You could sit there and wash up in comfort, I thought.

Despite the stresses of the day, my mind leaped to the natural thought that there was something else that you could sit there and do too. God, to feel the hot water and the steam and to be able to just enjoy a good slow wank. I grinned sheepishly to myself at the surprising way my mind had gone. This shower could almost have been designed for wanking. I laughed to myself at the thought - stupid idea - and quickly grabbed the shampoo bottle and got on with why I was in there.

Conscious that I had to meet Corbin soon, I finished washing as quickly as I could, reluctantly turned the water off and dried myself roughly. Damn. I'd forgotten to grab any clean clothes. The idea of putting my day old, sweat and dust-stained clothes back on was disgusting after that cleansing shower. So, shrugging, I just wrapped my towel firmly round my hips, grabbed my things and stepped out of the steamy bathroom.

The white painted hallway was empty as I made my way back to my room. As I was about to pass it though, a door on my right flew open and a tall, slim, dark haired man came out, arms full of boxes and trailing cables. Nearly running into me, he managing to stop himself while still balancing all the stuff he was carrying.

"Oh sorry," he exclaimed, with a lopsided grin. "Didn't see you there." He ran his eyes over my bare chest and arms and then looked back into my face with a smile. "New guy huh? Good to meet you, I'm Pete." He ran his eyes over my chest again and most definitely checked me out. I felt his gaze as it skated across my skin and goose bumps broke out all over me. What the hell? Pulling my clothes tighter to me, I completely ignored the way he was looking which was weird because usually I didn't like being looked at and this guy wasn't even a girl. Obviously. Shit, what the hell was wrong with me?

"Nice," he continued appreciatively, grinning at my now flexed arms and chest as I squeezed the heck out of my clothes and shower stuff, "Do you work out?"

"Um, a bit," I muttered, avoiding his eyes not sure where to look in return. I was pretty sure this was the first time I had ever stood half-naked in front of what I now realised was a gay man. It was kind of uncomfortable in a nice-to-be-appreciated sort of way. "Um... nice to meet you," I mumbled, for want of anything else to say. "I've er, got to go," I added lamely, "going to be late."

"Okay," he agreed cheerfully, hefting the box in his arms, "I'll see you around."

I had the distinct impression he was checking out my ass as I walked away. Did he think I had a nice ass? Would he now be rating it on a scale of one to ten? And when the hell did I think things like that anyway? The idea of porn videos being filmed in this house had obviously addled my brains, I decided entering my room. Besides, all the running and the rowing that I did, kept me fit and I was pretty sure my ass would pass muster. Not that it mattered, I snorted to myself in amusement. Jeez, I was going nuts.

As I quickly dressed, I realised my stomach was trying to twist itself up again as I thought about the work ahead. Would I make an idiot of myself by _not_being turned on watching a couple have sex? Or would it make me look professional to be unaffected by a naked man and woman? Chewing my lip nervously, I thought it was a bit late to be worrying about it now, so since I had decided to leave my own camera in the room and use what Corbin provided, I headed out to find him and get my directions for the night. Whatever happened, it would be interesting. Possibly mortifying, but interesting.

Down on the floor below, most of the doors were again shut, but at the far end of the corridor, one stood open and I could see signs of movement inside. Stepping hesitantly into the room and looking around I realised that I didn't know what I had been expecting but somehow I hadn't been expecting a bedroom. Just a bedroom. The bed was huge, covered with a chocolate brown and cream comforter and topped with a dark brown leather headboard. There were a couple of nightstands with lamps, a small flat screen on a stand, a tall plant in a corner and some big set lights, but that was it. Apart from the mirror. Dark framed, it stood at an awkward angle leaning against the wall on one side of the bed and dominated the room.

Crouching down among a pile of electrical equipment was Corbin. He was putting a battery charger into the electrical outlet and frowning at the camera he held in his hands.

Not quite sure what to do, I cleared my throat nervously and he looked up at me. "Just in time," he said, "here, grab this." He thrust the large Sony camera at me and I rushed to take the ten grand's worth of camera quickly. "Battery's full," he said, "but the spare is dead. I hope that you won't need it, but I'm charging it just in case. You okay with this type of camera?"

I nodded. Child's play.

Standing up, he began to stack spare equipment and cases against the wall. "Get the feel of it," he advised. "Though the lighting in here'll be different soon. The scene we're shooting is a bit different from our usual ones." I wasn't sure what to think of that. I was nervous enough about being involved with anything normal, but abnormal? I pushed down my apprehension. I was committed now, no matter what.

"I'm going to need you to cover all the wide angle shots," Corbin told me. "Just ignore me. I'll be moving in for the close-ups and specific angles."

Nodding, I began re-familiarising myself with the camera before moving round the room watching the viewfinder to gauge where to stand to cover most of the bed. I worked out where to stand to keep my reflection out of the mirror, how many steps back I could take before I knocked into the wall, where the shadows fell and where there was a loud squeaky floorboard.

"Oh yeah, watch out for that one," Corbin said dryly. "Gotta get that fixed." As he spoke, a small blonde woman bustled into the room carrying a cardboard box in her arms and looking cross.

"You have no idea what I had to do to get these," she exclaimed, putting the box down on the bed. "They only sell this stuff in February the sales woman said. As if no one needs candles any other time of the year." She looked over at me in surprise, "Oh hello."

"Micha, this is Edward," Corbin introduced me. "He's helping me out with the camera tonight."

Micha put her hands on her hips and looked at me shrewdly, "Really?" she asked sounding puzzled. Then comprehension dawned and she swung round to face Corbin accusingly. "Corbin, did you pick him up at the airport by any chance?"

"Yep," he confirmed unconcerned, slotting a battery into his own camera.

"Corbin! He could be anyone!" She threw a look over her shoulder at me. "No offence."

"Um… none taken," I muttered awkwardly, not sure who she actually was.

"It's okay, Micha," Corbin soothed, "Edward's gona be fine." He smiled quickly at me and indicated that I should carry on getting the feel of the camera.

"Okay, you're the boss," she replied slowly, but she threw me another suspicious look.

"Why don't you set up the room, Micha? Give it that woman's touch," Corbin suggested, with a catch of dry humour in his voice.

In response, Micha gave him the finger before proceeding to rummage through the box. It was certainly a relaxed working atmosphere, I thought and stifled a grin as Micha muttered about 'give you a woman's touch'. She flicked me a look and smiled begrudgingly when she saw my amused expression.

"Don't mind Micha," Corbin said soothingly. "She's very protective of all our models."

Drawing herself up to her full height, all of five foot, she retorted fiercely, "I just don't want them to be nervous of having some new guy in the room, that's all." She glared at Corbin who smiled indulgently at her before moving round the bed to place a handful of candles in coloured holders on the nightstand.

"They'll be fine, Micha," Corbin offered. "Anyway, once T and Jay get fucking, a marching band could come in here and they wouldn't notice."

Micha laughed and flung her hair over her shoulder as she replied, "Well, I wouldn't know about that, but, I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sure they won't mind you being here."

Smiling weakly back at her, I was a bit shocked at the casual way Corbin had talked about fucking. God, I hoped that the woman wasn't called Tanya. It would just make my day to have my ex's name flying around the room. But there were plenty of names beginning with T right? Tracy, Tina, Tamsin? Or perhaps the woman was this J person. Jessica, Jade…

"Do you want the rose petals on the bed?" Micha asked Corbin, pulling out a plastic box of red rose petals. What the hell?

Seeing my bewildered expression, Corbin grinned and explained, "We're filming a Valentine's Day special."

"Yeah, in September," Micha clarified huffily. "Hence my difficulty in getting freaking rose petals," she spat the words as if they were personally insulting.

Corbin grinned, rolling his eyes, "I knew you could do it, Micha. Just toss them over the bed, that should be fine."

Muttering words like 'toss you' and 'no appreciation', Micha finished her dressing of the room, gathered her now empty box and left with an "I'm leaving you to it. I'm heading out to meet the rest of the guys for dinner." As she left I heard her say, "Hey, Travis, have a good one." A mumbled response was all I caught but it was definitely a guy's voice. J must be the girl then.

Looking curiously towards the door, I wondered what my first porn star would look like.

Not like that.

He was a regular guy. A regular guy similar to me in many ways. About my height of just under six foot, about my age of twenty-five. He had short dark hair, kind of mussed-up looking whereas mine was paler and a bit bronzy - or ginger as Tanya would say disparagingly – and was clean-shaven while I was perpetually scruffy.

"Hey, Travis," greeted Corbin warmly, glancing at his watch. "Right on time. You ready for the scene?"

Travis ducked his head slightly and smiled a slow full-on smile. "Yup, I'm ready," he replied, looking back up again. I was struck by how bright and eager he looked; his eyes were sparkling and there was a slight flush across his cheekbones. He was looking forward to it. I crossed another misconception off my list. Not all porn stars are hairy beefcakes and Travis, at least, looked like he really enjoyed his job.

"Travis, this is Edward," Corbin introduced casually. Travis nodded to me calmly, giving me a wide genuine smile. "Edward is covering for Connor tonight. Did you hear he can't make it?"

"Yeah, I heard that downstairs. Is he okay?" Travis showed concern in his eyes as he turned to Corbin, "Anything we can do?"

"He'll be fine," Corbin reassured him. "A couple of broken bones in his wrist though, so he'll be out of commission for a while."

Travis nodded thoughtfully. "I'll give him a call tomorrow," he said. "Maybe I can fly down and see him next week to make sure he's okay."

Corbin nodded. "Good idea. If you go, book it through Micha and we'll pick up the tab."

Travis nodded again, putting his hands nonchalantly in his pockets, not looking surprised by Corbin's generous offer. Then, looking up at me again with an open friendly face he asked, "Have you worked in this industry long?"

I was thrown for a minute by how casual he seemed about it, like making porn was a regular thing to do. "Um… about ten minutes," I mumbled awkwardly, not thinking my answer through. I took a firmer hold of the camera and tried not to shuffle my feet in embarrassment.

"Really?" His pleasured surprise brought a wide full smile to his face, and his eyebrows shot up comically.

An answering smile pulled at my lips in return. "Yeah, this'll be my first time." I laughed nervously.

"Well, we'll make it a good one for you then!" he giggled - yeah, giggled - and I felt myself inexplicably blushing at his words and the knowledge of what was about to take place on the wide, petal-strewn bed. I felt somewhat weird standing here talking to someone I knew I was going to watch having sex in a few minutes.

I was pretty sure his performance would be better than mine.

"Is Jay ready?" Corbin asked Travis, breaking into my rueful thoughts.

"Bathroom," he replied succinctly, "won't be long."

I wondered if the two of them were an actual couple. Travis certainly seemed relaxed at the idea of having sex with her.

"Are you two together?" I asked curiously, not sure if I was breaking any rules by asking.

But Travis laughed, his infectious white smile taking over his face again. I was beginning to see that he wasn't actually quite so average. "No," he laughed. "I have a girlfriend. But Jay and I have done loads of scenes together, seven or eight I think, and we're friends. We hang out together when we're here, you know."

I nodded, though I didn't know. The idea of people being paid to have sex together in front of the camera, and then hanging out together afterwards as friends seemed strange. I'd have thought they'd want to get away as fast as they could. But I was having all sorts of misconceptions busted tonight.

I heard the sound of a door closing out in the corridor, followed by footsteps along the hallway and I looked over, anxious and nervous about meeting the woman I was about to see naked and er… fucking. I felt kind of comfortable with Travis, but I could feel myself tensing up as I waited for his scene partner to walk through the door.

"Hi, Jay, ready to get started?" Corbin asked, as I blinked in confusion.

Dark brown hair, deep green eyes, and a killer smile.

Holy shit.

Jay was a guy too.


	3. Chapter 3

Gone Fishing

By Milly3c

Huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed/favourited or alerted this story. It gives me a lovely warm huggy feeling every time a message apears and it really does make me write faster! So keep it up!

This is an Edward/Jasper story set in the world of Corbin Fisher. Apart from some names and a smattering of details, the CF world is entirely made up by me (starting with the fact that there are no girls in my CF films!)

If you are offended by male/male sex, pornography or sex for money then this is NOT the story for you. However if you are not offended and are over 18 then this is a sexy/fluffy/angsty good old fashioned romance, so dive in!

Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and offering encouragement and to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing despite my punctuation disasters.

Also, I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher (I wish!) I make no profit only have fun.

* * *

><p><em>"Hi, Jay, ready to get started?" Corbin asked, as I blinked in confusion.<em>

_Dark brown hair, deep green eyes, and a killer smile._

_Holy shit. Jay was a guy too._

Chapter Three

He smiled engagingly as he sauntered into the room, relaxed and comfortable with the scene he was about to shoot - having sex with another man. I was having trouble breathing. What the hell? It was two guys. Two guys? I should have been disgusted. Wasn't that what convention said - that it should be guys and girls having sex together, not guys and guys? But I wasn't disgusted. I was . . . stunned.

I blinked, started breathing again and tried to get rational. Okay, so it wasn't a man and a woman, that was fine. It was okay. It was going to be two men. Together. Doing . . . things.

I think … I was intrigued.

I had only a vague idea of what two guys did together. I mean, put tab 'a' into slot 'b' and all that, but I'd never seen it, never thought of looking online to find out. And here in front of me were two guys about to demonstrate. My breathing was a little ragged and my heart rate a little quick. I must be a more curious person than I'd realised because the potential acquisition of new knowledge seemed to have got me rather worked up.

"Jay, this is Edward," introduced Travis, and I took a good look at Jay casually walking towards me in a t-shirt, with a picture of bunk beds on it for some reason, loose fitting jeans with rips in and flip-flops on his feet. He was lanky in build but I could see the outline of a toned muscular chest and defined biceps under the t-shirt. Dark brown hair flopped forward over his forehead above deep green eyes that sparkled merrily, an incredibly wide smile, neatly trimmed stubble, dimples . . . He looked good. Not good as in, good, I quickly corrected myself, but good as in, well, good. Oh shit, I didn't know what I meant. I swallowed against a sudden tightness in my chest. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Edward's our new Connor!" laughed Travis, in explanation to Jay, "I promised him a good scene tonight!"

"Oh, I think we can handle that," responded Jay, in a voice tinged with an accent that weirdly sent ripples down my spine; Just a hint of a drawl, a touch of a smile and a promise all in one short sentence. "Nice to meet you Edward." He offered me his hand to shake. I stared blankly for a moment at the sinewy forearm bearing a wide studded-leather cuff and at the large hand with long, strong-looking fingers before pulling myself together and fumbling awkwardly to transfer the weight of the camera to my other hand without dropping it.

"Oh shit, sorry," he said sheepishly, seeing me fumbling. "Can I help?"

"It's okay. I got it," I breathed in reply. Breathed? Since when did shaking someone's hand make me breathless and clumsy? And that was before our palms touched. His cool, dry palm seemed to send some sort of energy along my skin like an electric current coursing over me. I gripped his hand tightly, taken aback by the sensation and he wrapped his long, and yep, strong fingers tightly around mine in return. Surprised, I looked up and met his hooded gaze with my wide-eyed one. No wide smile from him now, just deep contemplative eyes, which moved over my face taking me in in return. His mouth parted slightly, the full bottom lip smoothing up at the corners into a hint of a private smile and then it was over.

He released my hand and stepped back, turning to Travis and saying, "You ready to go?" I rubbed my empty-feeling hand hard over my chest. The tight feeling was still settled in my chest accompanied now by a faint twisting clenching deep in my stomach. I didn't know what it was but it was . . . something.

Travis nodded to say he was ready as Corbin put down his camera and pulled a Zippo out of his jeans' pocket. He tossed it to Travis and said, "Candles T and Jay can you switch off those main lights?"

As the two men moved to acquiesce, Corbin said to me, "Normally we would have a run through now. The models work out beforehand what they are going to do, which positions they will use in what order, but T and Jay are pros at this, they don't need any rehearsal." Travis grinned, his face bent low over the candles and it almost looked as though there was a blush on his cheeks.

"What will happen first," Corbin explained to me, "is the guys will sit on the edge of the bed there and we'll have a quick chat for the camera; I'll ask a couple of questions and they can say what they are thinking about this scene and then we'll get to it." He raised a brow at me to make sure I was following him. "During a scene, if a model needs to stop for any reason, it's no problem. We just keep the cameras rolling and it all gets edited out later."

I nodded again.

"As I said, this scene is a bit different from our regular ones; it's for a Valentine's Day special so we're aiming for a bit more of a romantic feel but still with all the fucking."

Jay chuckled quietly, looked over at me and winked. The 'something' feeling clenched a bit more. "Oh yeah, we wouldn't want to miss that out," he said, running his eyes up and down me from head to toe and smiling as though he liked what he saw. Although that couldn't be right could it? I felt myself flush from head to toe too and I looked away from him, swallowing nervously. The 'something' feeling spread lower. I glanced back at him and caught a puzzled expression on his face before he turned to Corbin as he spoke.

"Remember to watch out for the candles," Corbin rumbled a warning. "Micha has even more pillows and shit on the bed tonight so don't knock the candles over if you toss them on the floor. Okay then, what have you two got worked out?" he asked, getting on with business while I struggled to keep up.

"Some making out, some going down and some hand work. I'll take T from behind and then we'll finish in an upright kneeling position," replied Jay, in a business-like tone pushing his hands in his pockets and shrugging.

"Yeah, if we don't lose our balance on the bed that is," interjected Travis, with a wide smile, "in which case, anything could happen."

"Just don't damage the goods," laughed Jay, nudging Travis with his shoulder. "I still plan on using them again, you know!"

Travis grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Corbin snorted, "I'm sure Trav'll take good care of them. Okay, are we ready?"

I glanced around at the new lighting configuration and quickly made some adjustments to the settings on the camera. It was much darker around the edges of the room now, the set lights illuminating the bed only. The candles didn't provide much light but they were soft pools of flickering amber amongst the shadows. "Yeah," I replied to Corbin apprehensively, "ready." Technically, I was ready - whether or not I was ready to witness the scene was another matter.

Travis and Jay came and stood next to each other at the foot of the bed. Travis made a grab for Jay's t-shirt, lifted it a few inches and scowled at the studded black leather belt, which was just about holding his jeans to his slim hips.

"Fuck, you know I can never undo this one," he muttered, with a lop-sided smile. "Are you going to do this scene with your jeans on?" To my stunned amazement, he pulled Jay close with a rough jerk on the belt and slid the palm of his hand down the front of Jay's jeans, cupping and rubbing what, even from where I was standing, looked like something large and hard.

Oh my God, they were touching each other.

Well, no shit, idiot.

Panicking, I tore my eyes away and wiped the sweat from my hands. Had they started the scene already? I hadn't been ready, the camera wasn't even pointing at them. I scrambled to bring the viewfinder up as Corbin murmured next to me, "Relax, they're just warming up a little." But I flicked the power button to on anyway.

Framing the two men up in the viewfinder, I stepped back to get them full length as Jay cupped the front of Travis's board shorts in response. The two of them were facing each other, two dark heads bent together watching the other's hand rub and cup their straining erections. Travis hummed and bit his bottom lip as Jay said hoarsely, "Can't wait to see this again."

Grinning at each other, they stepped back settling down onto the end of the bed. Travis leaned back casually on both arms, looking demurely into Corbin's camera, which was now recording. Jay turned slightly so he could watch Travis.

"Okay, you ready then guys?" Corbin asked. They both nodded and grinned and Corbin chuckled, "Yeah, it's going to be a good one, I can tell." They laughed a bit more. Travis looked away shyly, as if he didn't really know what he was there for. Jay just smiled a knowing smile. My mouth was dry again.

"So, you guys are here for another scene together then?" began Corbin for the camera. "What is this, the seventh time?"

"Eighth, I think," replied Travis, glancing at Jay who nodded in agreement.

"Okay, well it's great to see you both here again. We have you here to make a little treat for the fans for Valentine's Day. I'm sure it's going to be good."

Travis blushed now and looked away as Jay replied in his lightly accented drawl, "Oh yeah, it's going to be good!"

"You two have great chemistry when you're together. The fans always ask for more of the two of you, so I think you guys should go ahead and have sex," responded Corbin. I nearly dropped the camera in surprise but I recovered myself and concentrated on getting good shots of the two of them as they turned eagerly to each other, threaded their hands into the other's hair and began to kiss.

I just had time to notice that all traces of shyness had gone now as they kissed and touched each other, before my brain screamed at me that this was two guys kissing. Two guys. Kissing! Taken aback at the reality of what was happening before me, I tried to get my mind away from disbelief and concentrate on the practical side of things. Was I casting a shadow from where I was standing, had I accidentally got Corbin in the shot, had I framed it right, was the lighting right . . . ?

Gradually, I began to operate automatically, and I had time to actually watch what was going on. Watch and, to my disbelief, enjoy. Without any prompting from me, quite of its own accord, my body was reacting to the scene before me. My cock was now feeling heavy inside my jeans as it stirred into sluggish life and my balls were beginning to ache in a way I'd never felt before. Breathing deeply, I ignored the signs of arousal, unable to believe that it was happening. When was the last time I had been turned on like this? No seriously, when?

Um . . . ?

I tried to concentrate on my work. I tried, but . . .

Jay's t-shirt was bunched across his chest where Travis had pushed it up and he reached down impatiently and grabbed it, pulling it over his head and tossing it across the room into the shadows, allowing Travis to continue attacking his chest with his lips and hands.

Lick, suck, nip.

Lick, suck, nip.

Travis's tongue latched onto Jay's round dark nipple and teased it to instant hardness by lapping at the nub repeatedly. Swallowing hard, I watched as Jay arched his chest off the bed, offering himself for more as Travis flicked his tongue round and round the little brown nub. He latched his lips tightly to it and sucked, causing Jay to groan from deep within his chest. His right arm, which had been stretched across the comforter, moved as he slipped his hand under his head, raising himself so he could watch what Travis was doing to him. His other hand continued its stroking of Travis's back up and down, seeking out the rippling muscles.

Holy shit. Swallowing hard again, and remembering I was there to work. I decided I needed a better angle and, keeping well behind Corbin, I moved so that I could see Travis's face in the viewfinder, just as he released Jay's nipple with a pop and looked up, meeting Jay's eyes. His own eyes were dancing with excitement and mirth, darkened with lust and desire. Emotions I'd never seen together like that before. I watched enthralled as Travis's mouth broke into a wicked white-toothed smile just before he broke eye contact. He lowered his head to Jay's chest again and closed his teeth around Jay's hard nub of a nipple.

Jay cried out, his voice sharp with pleasure, tinged with pain and his hand momentarily clenched around Travis's ribs.

Travis just chuckled darkly and started the process again.

Lick, suck, nip.

My own nipples were tight and aching in response and I longed to run my hand over them and . . . what I didn't know. Drive myself to torture probably, but I needed both hands to steady the camera, and besides, I was there to work not join in. At the thought of joining in, my cock gave a surge and pushed painfully against the zipper of my jeans. I swear, it had never been so hard. I tried my best to ignore its inconvenient emergence. I didn't understand why it was happening and I just couldn't even think about it now.

Jay gave another soulful groan as Travis nipped his tight, hard bud again and gripped his own hair in his fist as every muscle in his body flexed in response to Travis's teasing.

Travis looked up into his face again and his eyes caught the hard flexed bicep that Jay was sporting.

His eyes gleamed even more and he slid himself sinuously further up Jay's body, bringing his knee beneath him so that he was half kneeling at Jay's side and his hands were free to run over the bulging muscle.

He looked like a kid at Christmas with his most favourite ever toy before him. He wanted to touch it all; he didn't know which part he wanted to play with first.

"Mmm, nice," he murmured, running his hands over the hard rounded muscle. "Really nice," and he leaned down to swipe the straining skin with his tongue, kiss it with his lips and grip it with his teeth.

Jay grinned, groaned and then whispered hoarsely, "You like that?"

"You know I do," replied Travis, bringing his hands to Jay's chest and running them over and over the rippling skin.

I swallowed hard, my breathing becoming harsh. Never had I felt like this, never had I thought it was possible to feel like this. My pulse raced and I was having a hard time keeping the camera steady and the shot in focus. Thank God for all the automatic features of the Sony, because I wasn't able to remember my own name, let alone anything else. The tightness of my jeans was distracting. The 'something' feeling was growing and I just didn't understand why my hitherto dormant libido had decided that today of all days, was the day to wake up.

Travis was making his way down Jay's chest again now, kissing and licking at each of his clearly defined muscles as he worked his way lower. I checked where Corbin was and then moved so that I was standing directly behind Jay. I lowered the camera so that the shot was looking straight over his shoulder, directly at Travis as he arrived at Jay's jeans waist and the wide leather belt he wore there. Travis looked up, a wicked gleam to his eye again and I swallowed down the hard lump in my throat. Holy shit, this man communicated the wickedest things with just a look. Jay obviously agreed with me as he whispered, "Oh fuck!" before hastily reaching down and started to undo the buckle of his belt.

Travis grinned and buried his face into the jean-clad apex of Jay's legs and from the bucking and whispered expletives Jay was issuing, I'd guess Travis was busy using that mouth of his again for something other than talking.

"Oh fuck," cried Jay, suddenly wrenching the buckle undone and popping open the buttons at the same time. "Get them off, get them off." But Travis just emerged grinning again and slid back up Jay's body so that his mouth was level with his ear.

I stepped to the side so the viewfinder was filled with Travis's mouth as he latched onto the side of Jay's neck, sucking and licking before he replied, "All in good time. You don't want to rush me do you, baby?"

Jay's response was a growl as he wrapped his arms around Travis and rolled him onto his back, his knees coming to settle on either side of Travis's hips. As he moved, I saw a series of inked black lines down the centre of his spine, a slim tribal tattoo starting high between his shoulder blades and following the line of his back. Wide-eyed, I traced the lines across his skin. I'd always wanted a tattoo but never had the courage to get one.

"I'm not in a rush," Jay replied huskily to Travis, pinning him to the bed, "but you might regret that." And with that, he latched his mouth to Travis's neck, licking and sucking in return. The thick black lines stood out sharply against his lightly tanned skin as he undulated his hips in a slow hypnotic rhythm, grinding down against Travis. Licking my dry lips, I watched in turned-on fascination as Jay moved in a pattern and rhythm that was familiar and yet intriguingly different.

Fascinating. The different angles. Hard muscles, strong limbs. Fascinating.

Corbin crossed in front of my line of vision and hastily I moved around to the end of the bed again so that the whole shot was side on. I stepped back allowing Corbin room to get closer with his camera and just watched Jay move.

I couldn't take my eyes from him. He looked incredible, the way his body flexed and moved, the muscles of his back and abs taut and defined. I'd seen guys at the gym; muscly guys, skinny guys, lean guys and mean guys but never had I thought of those muscles being put to this use. I gulped. I'd never thought of sex as being like this at all.

When I thought of sex I thought of girls and having to be gentle with them and having to do all the work during sex and of softness and jiggling mounds of flesh. Never had I thought of hard, strong bodies equal with each other, each giving and taking in the same way. Travis and Jay were both strong and powerful, were each other's equal and although every touch was sensuous, tender even, they were holding nothing back from each other.

Fascinating.

Intriguing.

My mind wandered as Jay scooped up a handful of the rose petals and dropped them onto Travis's chest. Travis laughed. "Cold!" he cried just before Jay brought his chest down onto him and ground the petals into each other's skin. Even though this sex wasn't real, it was for the camera, it had more emotion, more energy than any I'd ever had. Barely a second went by that hands weren't touching skin, caressing, kneading, smoothing, gripping, teasing. It was strength, passion and equality and . . . it was driving me crazy.

Jay had pulled Travis's shorts down now and was reaching inside to free his straining cock. "Mmm hello, baby," he murmured, dropping a kiss onto the smooth rounded head. "Miss me?"

He glanced up to Travis's taut face and winked and Travis dropped back down onto the soft bed with a defeated, "Fuck!" as Jay dropped his head to his cock and began to worship it. I couldn't think of another word to describe it. It looked amazing. Hot and sensuous and tormenting and satisfying all in one.

I was aching. My own cock was begging for some of the same treatment, though it had never felt as good for me as what Travis was feeling if the look of ecstasy on his face was anything to go by.

Jay released Travis's cock from his mouth with a pop and carefully slid his shorts down and off his legs, leaving him completely naked but surprisingly not vulnerable at all. In fact, of the two of them, Travis seemed to have the advantage as Jay's gaze roamed up and down his taut hard body, drawn again and again to the tall, hard cock standing almost straight up in the air. My eyes were drawn to it too and Corbin moved in for a close up as Jay lowered his head and ran strokes with his tongue from base to tip. He used no hands, just his tongue, and I watched in awe and fascination as a gleaming drop of liquid formed on the tip and sat poised for the taking.

Jay took him in his hand now, wrapping his fingers reverently around the girth of Travis's cock, holding it steady. He moved to kneel between the other man's wide spread legs and lowered his head towards the tip of Travis's cock. Even my sex-scrambled brain could see it was an incredible shot and since Corbin was covering this angle, I quickly moved to the side of the bed and lowered the camera again closing in so that my shot was tight.

Over the planes of Travis's chest and stomach, slightly out of focus and then his cock, standing hard and straight with Jay's fingers wrapped firmly round it, his mouth hovering over the tip. I realised that they were waiting for Corbin and me to get into position and it was an unwelcome reminder that this was a professional shoot and not some private show.

I nodded briefly to indicate that I was ready and Jay looked down at the dewdrop, which had grown even larger. He looked back up again straight into Travis's eyes and as seriously as I had ever heard whispered, "Thank you, baby," before licking the drop right off the top. Travis cried out and bucked his hips up frantically, but Jay just steadied them firmly on the bed. He smiled a smile equally as wicked as any I had seen from Travis. His deep dimples and dark trimmed facial hair looked positively sinful as he lowered his head, took the head of Travis's cock into his mouth and began to work.

Now, I've had a few blowjobs in my time, though not for a while because Tanya had always refused, but never had anything like this been done to me. It wasn't just taking a cock into your mouth and bobbing reluctantly up and down. It was a full out seduction. Jay sucked the tip, licked the full length, took him in deep and flicked the slit with the tip of his tongue. There was slurping and humming and tongues and teeth and through it all Travis was writhing and gasping and gripping the bed and grabbing Jay's hair. I pulled back for a wider shot so that I didn't miss anything and I found I had to look away, the throbbing in my jeans was that intense.

Glancing over at Corbin, I saw him watching me and I reddened instantly feeling the heat flash across my face, but he smiled sympathetically and gave me what was quite clearly an 'I know how you feel' look and turned back to his camera.

Jay released Travis's cock with one last loud pop, accompanied by a groan from Travis and I hurriedly checked that they were both still in shot. He pulled up onto his knees and pushed his jeans and boxers down his thighs in one fluid movement and from the angle I was at, his cock seemed to spring straight towards me.

I gasped and stumbled back a step and both Jay and Travis glanced at me.

Travis pushed his head back into the mattress and looked up. "Okay?" he asked, and I just nodded quickly, mortified both at having disturbed the scene and at having given away my reaction to seeing Jay's cock for the first time.

They both quickly got back to it and I changed angles again as Jay removed his clothes and lay down on top of Travis. He began a sensuous dance of maddening arousal all the while using one hand to caress and worship the skin of Travis's chest and shoulders and kissing little kisses across every inch of skin he could reach.

The smell of roses was in the air, petals were clinging to their damp bodies and the tiny warm glow of the candles danced across their skin. Jay's movements became more pronounced, as he drove his cock relentlessly against Travis's causing him to wrap one leg around Jay's hips and pull him tighter and tighter to him.

With his head thrown back and panting, his hands gripping tightly to Jay's sides and shoulders, "Fuck me," he cried suddenly, "fuck me now!" Jay smiled, slowing his movements and lowering his head so that his lips hovered just above Travis's.

"Thought you'd never ask," he murmured, pressing a hard possessive kiss to Travis's mouth. Travis responded, reaching up to push one hand through the hair at the base of Jay's neck and pulled their mouths together. They kissed, open-mouthed and passionate and it was like nothing I'd ever seen or experienced.

"Roll over," breathed Jay, breaking free from Travis's mouth, but he resumed kissing him again anyway as if he couldn't get enough.

I backed away, remembering that I was supposed to be getting wide angle shots and I used the slight distance to try and get myself together. Seeing any sex live in front of you would turn you on right? The fact that it was two guys turning me on didn't mean anything.

I was mesmerised by the sight of Jay running his hands over the tight globes of Travis's ass, squeezing and caressing.

Oh God.

I'd never seen anyone else have sex before, so it was natural to feel . . . things, right?

Jay had reached for a bottle and was now putting some of the clear gloopy lube on his fingers.

Oh my God.

I've done stuff with girls. And enjoyed it, I reminded myself. Okay, mostly enjoyed it but that doesn't mean anything.

Jay ran his sticky fingers between the gasping man's ass cheeks, pausing to press circular movements over his . . .

Holy fuck.

Just because I hadn't found the 'right' girl yet, didn't mean that there wasn't a girl out there for me, somewhere.

Slowly, expertly, Jay pressed a finger forward. It disappeared from my view. Inside Travis.

Holy . . .

I think my mind went completely blank. I know my eyes were as wide as saucers and my grip on the camera was now white knuckled.

Didn't that hurt?

Travis groaned. See? See, that hurt! "Oh yeah," he groaned. "More."

Okay, maybe it didn't. So what did it feel like? I couldn't imagine.

Jay pressed his finger in and out, leaning forward and biting his bottom lip in concentration. Travis was gripping the comforter and groaning as Jay then added another finger and pressed inside him with two.

I squeaked. No other word for it. A high-pitched escape of sound squeezed itself from my throat and I flushed a mortified red over the top of my turned-on embarrassed pink. Jay smiled as he worked but didn't look at me though I know he'd heard.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Stopping his ministrations with his slicked up fingers, Jay expertly rolled a condom down his length and reached for the lube again. I watched his hands as they smoothed up and down his hard cock and I could've sworn he took his time for my benefit. Not that I was actually interested in seeing another man's cock or anything. Because the whole thing with being put off by jiggling breasts and the soft and the wet and everything didn't mean that I wanted hard and strong and . . . oh my God, deep! I thought as I watched Jay begin to pump his length into Travis's willing ass.

No, none of that actually meant anything.

Time passed in a blur of hard and strong and deep until I shifted position and stood on the creaky floorboard. If Travis noticed he made no reaction, but Jay turned his head, and looked straight at me, his deep green eyes boring into mine. His jaw was clenched and every single muscle in his body was stretching and straining. I felt the 'something' inside me writhe and coil in time with the throb and ache in my jeans.

Looking back at Travis, Jay pulled him up from the bed into an upright kneeling position, Travis's back to Jay's chest. Jay held him firmly, one hand splayed wide across his stomach, one tightly clasped around his chest. His hips never stopped moving, continuing to pump himself into Travis's body in a tempo designed to give pleasure and build desire.

Travis's hand wrapped around the back of Jay's neck and pulled his mouth to his in a deep desperate kiss. He broke off suddenly, his eyes wide, the tendons on the sides of his neck stretched tight, the pink flush that painted his cheeks and neck spread across his shoulders and chest and he gasped, "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!"

Jay's grip of his body got tighter still, his own muscles tensed against his own orgasm, "Oh yeah!" he gasped.

With a primal cry, Travis threw his head back across Jay's shoulder, arched his body to the air and came. Spurts of milky white fluid decorated his stomach, Jay's hand, his chest and a drop even reached his chin. He shuddered and groaned in Jay's tight grip and unrelenting pounding. Clutching desperately to the hair at the back of Jay's neck, his cock bounced and pulsed on his stomach, sending arcs of glistening fluid through the air, catching the dancing candlelight as they went.

Jay continued to fill Travis's body, rubbing his hand up and down his chest and abs, smearing the translucent liquid into his skin, before bringing his fingers up to his mouth and licking the liquid from them. Travis turned his head and leaned up to share the taste and Jay's movements slowed to a stop. He carefully pulled his still hard cock from Travis's pliant body and lowered him back to the bed, following him down, pulling the condom off and discarding it as he went. He lowered his body until his cock was sitting along the line of Travis's ass cheeks and then put one thumb over the top, pressing himself into the length of the crevice. His long thick length rubbing the full length of Travis's ass, the head of his cock was flushed and gleaming as it emerged and withdrew from the muscular mounds. I was spell bound. Jay began to mutter as he held himself up on one arm, flexing his body from his toes, thrusting into Travis's ass crack, pressing himself down into it, "Oh yeah, oh yeah," he muttered over and over again then suddenly, "Aaahhhhh!" as he came. Great spurts of creamy white cum, pulsed onto the lightly tanned skin of Travis's back as Jay emptied himself onto his welcoming partner.

His arm trembling, he lowered himself to Travis's side and placed his hand on his ass, before giving up and collapsing his head onto Travis's shoulder, his chest heaving.

Travis looked back over his shoulder at him laughing. "I know, pretty intense!" Jay just nodded where he lay, his face pressed to Travis's skin. Lazily, he began tracing patterns in his own cum on Travis's skin. Travis wriggled, "What you writing there?" he asked, the familiar teasing light in his eyes.

Jay looked up at him then, an intense expression on his face, "I think I'm going to miss this," he replied and Travis wriggled his lithe body around on the bed until he was lying on his back, took Jay's face in his hands and leaned up for a kiss on his lips.

"You only have to ask," he responded, before pulling Jay into another kiss. This one still full of the sexual energy that they had built together. Gradually, they slowed their kissing and Jay laid his head down on Travis's chest, as Travis ran his hands over Jay's back.

"You know," he said suddenly, "we really need a shower!"

Travis laughed and pushed Jay over onto his side, "I know. You covered my back! I think you even got some in my hair."

Jay laughed in return. "And you got yours all over your chin!"

Travis smiled shyly, the wicked sex monster retreating to leave a blushing bashful man. "Come on," he said, scrambling up off the bed and turning to reach down and grab Jay's hand. "Race you to the shower." And I just about managed to frame the shot of the two of them running hand in hand and buck naked out of the door.

As I lowered the camera, I saw myself reflected in the huge mirror. Looking stunned, turned on and shattered.

Holy shit.

That had, as Travis had said, been intense.

* * *

><p>Phew, Travis and Jay, what a combination! (and just to let you know, it's not quite over yet) but yes, this is an Edward story, don't worry.<p>

I'd love it if you could let me know what you think so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: In this story I decided to base the physical descriptions of Edward and Jasper on their RL counterparts Rob and Jackson, this is why their hair and eye colour might not be what you were expecting. But since they are both gorgeous men, I didn't think you'd mind! There is a link on my profile page to the pictures I use for inspiration.**

**THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed, read, favourited or rec'ed this story. You guys are wonderful! I love you all.**

**Thank you also to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and spotting my Britishisums. Apparently they stand out ''Like the Queen at a NASCAR event" so it's a good job she's on the case! And huge thanks to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing despite my punctuation disasters. **

**Sadly I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher (I wish!) I make no profit only have fun. Lots of it.**

* * *

><p>Gone Fishing<p>

_Travis smiled shyly, the wicked sex monster retreating to leave a blushing bashful man. "Come on," he said, scrambling up off the bed and turning to reach down and grab Jay's hand. "Race you to the shower." And I just about managed to frame the shot of the two of them running hand in hand and buck naked out of the door._

_As I lowered the camera, I saw myself reflected in the huge mirror. Looking stunned, turned on and shattered._

_Holy shit._

_That had, as Travis had said, been intense._

Chapter 4

"You okay, Edward?" Corbin asked me in his gruff voice. I only nodded in reply, not trusting myself to speak any actual words. My first experience of gay sex had left me shaken. And hard.

"I'm going to catch those two in the shower," Corbin continued and I glanced over at him surprised. That sounded . . .

He chuckled. "With this," he added, lifting the camera. "The fans always like the winding down shower scenes afterwards. Stick around. We'll look at your work later, yeah?" I nodded mutely again as he disappeared out of the room with seemingly boundless energy. My own knees were trembling and I sat down with relief on the side of the huge bed. I grimaced as my hard cock was crushed as I sat, but my knees were in no way going to hold me up, so sitting down was my only option.

Holy fuck.

I had just watched two guys having sex.

And I think . . .

I enjoyed it.

I flopped back onto the rumpled bed, carefully cradling the camera against my chest since I hadn't thought to put it down anywhere.

I enjoyed it. I'd enjoyed watching guys have sex - sex without restraint - passionate and hard. The kind of sex that I wished . . . but I steered away from finishing that thought. I just wasn't ready to think about thinking that.

Thinking about it or not, I was left with the result. My cock was just aching to be touched but by me, since that was the only option. I let go of the precious camera with one hand and slid my palm tentatively down my t-shirt covered abdomen and over the bulge in my jeans. Oh God, that felt so good. I bit my lip to keep a cry from passing my lips and pressed down a little harder.

"Edward, can you come and help out in the shower?" Corbin asked, striding back into the room. He eyed me quickly as I lay, suddenly rigid in mortification, one hand holding onto the camera, the other pressed to my obviously hard cock. He nonchalantly reached for the spare battery for his camera. "You're lying in a patch of . . . never mind, can you come and help out?" he asked again. "T and Jay are up for round two and we don't want to miss anything."

I practically leapt up from the bed and hurried to follow him as he strode out of the room again. He was right; I did not want to miss anything. With the camera I mean, on film, for the video.

Corbin headed up the stairs and down the corridor past my room and to my surprise, into the bathroom that I'd used earlier. Following him, I found the shower running and Travis and Jay busy soaping each other up with shower gel, sliding their hands over each other's toned bodies reverently. Corbin quickly snapped the new battery into his camera and indicated to me that I should go ahead and start filming too. I quickly complied, bringing the camera up so that the two wet, naked men were framed in my viewfinder. I felt my pulse pick up again as I watched the slow sensuous running of soapy hands in the little window, all the while seeing a full scale version in my peripheral vision in front of me. But I didn't dare look up. It was bad enough watching them on the screen.

"Feels good," muttered Jay, as Travis ran his hands up Jay's water slicked sides. The four shower heads rained water down onto the two men, where it bounced from their bodies in energetic sprays and ran down their skin following the defined ridges of their hard muscles in slow tantalising patterns. One line of water was running down the centre of Jay's spine, glistening over the inked skin, and I looked up from the screen version, helpless but to watch it disappearing into the sharp crevice of his ass right in front of me. I followed the rivulet of water, mesmerised; I wanted to reach forward and trace it with my fingers, lick it with my tongue . . .

Travis ran his hand over the slick skin of Jay's back, breaking the flow of water and my captivated gaze. I licked my dry lips and blinked. What the hell? Breathing deep, I fought to get some semblance of control back.

As he faced him, Travis put his hands firmly on Jay's hips and turned him so that the two of them were in profile to the cameras. An inch separated their bodies, their newly hard cocks brushed against each other as water streamed down the slim space between them, slicking their bodies and bouncing back and forth in dancing drops and splashes. The soft rush of water was a background white noise in the small room, echoing innocently.

Putting a hand on Jay's chest, Travis smirked and bit his bottom lip as he pressed Jay back against the bench built along the wall. Jay sank down onto the bench and raised one leg to lean his knee against the wall, opening himself up, so his hard cock bounced against his stomach. Delicate trickles of water followed the lines of veins from head to base where drops of water glittered amongst the trimmed dark hair surrounding it. Travis followed him down and sunk to his knees in front of him, where his wickedly avaricious expression topped with sparkling eyes caused Jay to groan and thrust his fingers into Travis's hair.

At eye level now with the hard shaft, Travis reached up with one hand and grasped around the base, bringing the head to meet his mouth. With his lust darkened eyes locked with Jay's, he lowered his mouth and hollowed his cheeks as he sucked, taking the cock into his mouth down to the base.

Holy fuck! How did he do that? Did he have no gag reflex or something?

Jay broke the intense gaze the two of them shared as he thumped his head back against the wall in surrender and groaned deep within his chest, clutching Travis's hair even tighter. I swear Travis grinned, though how he managed it with a large cock stretching his mouth I had no idea. Jay's face was painted with wild abandon; head thrown back, eyes closed, his hair dripping onto his forehead, his mouth stretched in a silent cry. It was beautiful, it was moving . . . it was so fucking hot.

The zipper of my jeans was digging painfully into my own cock and I thought, with the tiny part of my brain not concentrating on watching the hard length of Jay's cock being swallowed down so impossibly deep, that I would never wear jeans with a zipper again. Button for me, forever more after this; my cock would never forgive me otherwise.

Up and down, slurping in the spray of water, sucking, tonguing, and all the while massaging, jacking and stroking with his hand, Travis worked Jay's cock as Jay groaned and jerked his hips, thrusting himself eagerly. Travis moved his free hand to take his own cock in hand and Corbin moved in front of me, positioning his camera to see both hands moving.

"Other knee, Travis," he muttered, breaking the spell that Travis's mouth had me under. Without stopping, Travis shifted his weight to his other knee, allowing us a clearer view of his hand wanking himself in the pouring water.

God I'd been so caught up in it that I had forgotten we were here to film this! I looked back at the viewfinder, though quite when I had stopped looking there I wasn't sure, and was relieved to see the two wet, naked, straining men still framed adequately. For all the attention I had been giving the camera, I might have just shot several minutes of the wet bathroom floor.

Get a grip - I thought to myself desperately as I angled the camera a little better. This is just a job; a weird, strange, arousing, fucking unbelievable job but a job anyway.

The water swished and hissed, the groans and moans echoed wantonly, my cock throbbed and ached and the cameras kept on rolling.

And then Jay was arching his back into a perfect bow, the gleaming skin over his abs pulled tight over each of his defined muscles. The tendons in his neck stretched taut as he threw his head back, gripped the edge of the tiled bench with a white knuckled grip, cried hoarsely, and pumped his cum onto Travis's waiting tongue. It mingled there with the water pouring down from the shower and slipped slowly down his chin and neck.

With a cry of his own, Travis pumped himself to completion, his face thrown back a rictusof pleasure bordering on pain as his cum mingled with Jay's slipping down his chest and was washed away in the stream of water.

I let out a breath I hadn't realised I had been holding and made a conscious effort to relax my own muscles. Jesus, that had been intense. I didn't know it was possible to cum so hard.

Travis chuckled and rubbed his hand languidly up and down his abs and chest, washing away the last of the creamy fluids. "You okay down there?" Jay asked him, as a slow smile pulled at his lips and a sated glow teased his eyes.

"I don't think I can move," laughed Travis softly, flopping his dark-haired head back against Jay's pale inner thigh. Jay's softening cock bounced against his lower stomach, looking spent and replete. I wished mine was.

"Come up here," Jay cajoled, leaning down to slip a hand under Travis's arm. "It's more comfortable." Travis slid up onto the bench next to Jay who pulled him close with an arm around his chest. The two of them sat there for a moment, leaning against each other, the water still streaming and bouncing over them. They looked tired and happy. The something in me twisted and growled.

Corbin broke the silence, his voice rumbling over the white noise of the water as he asked for the benefit of the camera, "You've gotta be exhausted guys. What time's your flight tomorrow, Travis?"

"Five a.m.," he replied, not looking too upset about it but Corbin and Jay groaned sympathetically.

"Oh boy, that's early."

"Yeah, but it was worth it," Travis replied, with a shy smile ducking his head as Jay's hands tightened round his chest.

"Oh yeah, so worth it," Jay repeated, nuzzling his lips into the still taught lines of Travis's neck. "So worth it, T. Thanks, man." Travis unbelievably flushed high across his cheekbones as he raised his arm, wrapped it tightly around the back of Jay's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Jesus. Didn't they ever have enough? I remembered that the two cameras were still rolling so perhaps they were still performing. If so, hell, they had stamina, and if they were behaving like that because they wanted to? I felt the something twisting inside again but couldn't work out what was causing it.

One thing I did know - I'd never had anyone who wanted me like that. I'd never felt that I might have been missing out on a relationship of such intensity because I just didn't know they existed. I blinked away a sudden dry prickling in my eyes and noticed that the battery warning light was flashing on the camera's screen. I would have to stop filming soon and get out of there.

At the thought of moving, my poor impatient cock, which was still straining against my jeans, throbbed and I shuffled my feet a bit against the bathroom tiles to try to ease it into a slightly more comfortable position. Catching sight of my awkward movement, Jay looked up, gazed at my crotch and a teasing smirk spread across his face. Shocked and embarrassed by his acknowledging my predicament, I hesitantly raised my gaze from the viewfinder and met his no longer tired looking eyes. He cocked an eyebrow, looked pointedly back down at my crotch before meeting my eyes again.

"Want us to take care of that for you?" he asked. His voice was teasing, throaty, humorous and sexual all at once. I gulped. He and Travis were still wrapped around each other - naked male body pressed against naked male body, spent cocks resting against bare muscular thighs - and now they were both looking at me as if they wanted in my pants too. It was tempting, it was hot, and it was terrifying. So I did what any physically exhausted, emotionally drained, red-blooded heterosexual male would do. I turned tail and ran.

Ran back to my room and the comparative safety of it. Back to the naked-body-free environment. Back to the place where I had last thought that I was straight. Wait, what did I mean by that?

My mind buzzing, I couldn't settle, and didn't want to think. Despite my exhaustion, I had to pace. Five steps each way was all the space there was but it was enough. I paced back and forth, needing to try and burn off the energy coursing through my body.

A knock sounded at the door and I stopped my pacing to reach over and open it. Corbin was in the hallway, looking at me with friendly concern in his eyes.

"You okay?" he asked, in his deep comforting voice for what felt like the tenth time today. I nodded, not really sure if I was or not. "It's a bit overwhelming at first," he said, "if you're not used to it. But it gets better, gets easier." I stared at him incredulously. Easier? How?

Seeing my expression, he laughed softly, "Well, okay, so maybe not easier. Turns me on every time still. But you learn to cope." I just nodded again. Learn to cope. Well, I couldn't ever see that happening but still . . .

"Pass me the camera and I'll have a look at your work tonight," continued Corbin and I realised that I was still clutching the Sony in my right hand. Embarrassed, I passed it to him and thought that I really should try to regain a bit of my professionalism.

I cleared my throat and muttered, "Um, sorry about running off like that."

"It's okay, "he replied. "The guys were finished anyway." A picture of the two slick wet bodies pressed together, spent cocks rubbing against one another, slipped unbidden into my mind. I shoved my hands into my jeans' pockets, not that there was much room, and clenched my fists in an effort not to groan at the mental image.

"Why don't you get some rest?" suggested Corbin gruffly. "We'll meet up after breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded, and then cleared my throat again. "Yes, thanks, see you then." I sounded pathetic. Pathetic and wrung out and strung up and frustrated and confused and hell, I don't know, a whole load of other things too probably.

Corbin nodded and gave me a gentle smile, "Get some sleep," he suggested again before he turned and disappeared from view. I closed the door quietly behind him and a wave of exhaustion washed over me. It had been a hell of a long day. Sleep actually sounded like a really good idea, my brain was beginning to shut down. But there was one thing I had to take care of before I could let my exhausted body rest.

I had barely enough energy to throw off my t-shirt and undo my jeans. Falling back onto the bed, I roughly shoved my jeans and boxers down my legs and wrapped a hand around my desperately aching cock. I was harder than I'd ever been in my life - if only Tanya could see me now, I thought bitterly. I skimmed my fingers over the head, slickened them with pre-cum and slid them slowly down again gasping at the sensation. Holy fuck was I sensitive. Pressure on the tips of my fingers, roll the thumb just so . . . It had never felt so good.

Images flicked through my mind like a high definition slide show - Travis sprawled on his back, water dancing on skin, Jay's fingers . . . oh God, his fingers. I trailed my free hand down between my legs nudging behind my balls and crying out when I touched the sensitive skin of my perineum. I was close, so close. The colourful images in my mind shuddered to a halt as I remembered Jay, pressing his slicked finger so carefully inside a writhing Travis. My own finger brushed tentatively over that untouched part of me, and I cried out as incoherent thoughts of touching, stretching, filling Jay, all consumed me. I barely had time to gasp before a tidal wave of sensation rushed through me and I came in long trembling spurts over my hand, my stomach, my chest.

My last coherent thoughts before I fell into the blackness were to wonder why it had never been like that for me before.

.

..~~GF~~..

.

Tap, tap, tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

I woke up lying on my back across the covers of my bed, my jeans tangled around my ankles and a dry crusty mess across my stomach and chest. Oh fuck.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Edward?"

I quickly sat up, causing crusty stuff to flake off my skin onto the bedcovers. God that was disgusting. "Hang on," I croaked, as I staggered to my feet, nearly fell over and had to windmill my arms wildly to keep my balance. I managed to pull my jeans up with one hand while leaning on the wall with the other and hopping from foot to foot to free the trapped dangling ends of the jeans' legs. Now wasn't this a graceful way to start the day? And where the hell was my t-shirt? I found it on the floor where I had tossed it last night and hastily pulled it on to hide the crusty mess.

What the hell had happened last night? A blur of memories flashed through my mind; skin, water, fingers, orgasm.

Oh yeah. That.

Out of breath, wild-haired and wearing yesterday's clothes, I opened the door, and found the guy who had driven us here from the airport yesterday, Aaron, David . . .?

"Daryl," he supplied helpfully, seeing my face scrunch up in concentration.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I muttered apologetically, feeling myself flush self-consciously.

"No problem," he replied easily with a shrug. I took a better look at him, determined to remember his name from now on; early forties, dark blond hair and lots of crinkles, no, laughter lines around his eyes. I relaxed a little, and shrugged back in response, smiling sheepishly. "Bit early in the morning for you?" he enquired, laughing. "Corbin's asked me to show you round the place before breakfast. Is that okay?"

I nodded in reply, suddenly remembering the whole job offer thing and feeling nervous about it. I had fallen asleep last night before I had even had time to think about it. Would I be offered the job? Did I want to take the job? I had no idea. I shoved my hand in my jeans' pocket, and felt dry crusty stuff flake uncomfortably off the skin of my stomach. Not a pleasant presentation for someone who was maybe being considered for a job.

"Do you mind if I grab a shower first?" I realised I had no idea what time it was. I could be holding everyone up for all I knew.

"Sure, I'll come back in fifteen and give you the grand tour," he affirmed with a friendly, cheerful smile which reached his eyes easily and I found myself smiling back in response. I wondered if anyone ever said no to him.

"That'd be great," I sighed gratefully, really hoping that I hadn't made too much of an idiot of myself with my scruffy, came-all-over-myself appearance and not-awake-yet brain. He gave a wave as he walked off down the corridor and I hastily grabbed my phone to check the time. Ten to seven. They sure did start the day early around here.

I grabbed some clothes that were actually clean out of my bag, picked up my wash kit and stepped out of my room in search of a bathroom. And please God, let the one we filmed in last night not be the only one available. I was relieved to see an open door a little way down the hall that showed a blue and white decorated bathroom behind it - a different bathroom from last night's bathroom. Thank fuck. I cleaned up and dressed in record time. I did my best to tame my hair, gave up and was ready in time to see Daryl coming back up the stairs to meet me.

He looked me up and down and seemed to approve of my choice of slim black jeans, which I wore with a casual button-up shirt. I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd wasted precious minutes in front of the bathroom mirror trying to decide if un-tucked would look too casual and if long sleeves rolled half up my forearms would look casual enough.

"Okay then!" Daryl said brightly. "I don't know what you already know about the place so I'll fill you in from the top, okay?" He made a wide sweeping gesture with his arm. "Welcome to the CF studios. This whole building is used for filming scenes, housing models and staff and for some of the offices and production suites." He paused to make sure I was following him. "We have offices downtown too, but this is where most of the actual creative work takes place. Corbin tells me you're joining us for the week as videographer. Is that right?"

"Um . . ." I ran a hand through my hair awkwardly. Three minutes into the day and it was messy already. "I don't know really, he said he was going to look at the work I did last night and let me know . . ."

"Oh, don't worry about that," replied Daryl, with a playful dismissive gesture of his hand. "He loved your work; wants you to stay."

Really?

I felt a surge of relief that I hadn't messed it up and tug of pride at a job well done. A grin spread across my face but then, oh fuck, that meant that it was now up to me to decide. My grin slipped away. Did I want to stay here and work for the week? Film sex? Film gay sex?

"Don't worry about it for now," comforted Daryl, seeing the mingled panic and surprise on my face. "I'll show you around and you can think things over as we go."

He gestured to the hallway behind me. "Most of this floor is for staff. No models up here. We have a couple of rooms we use for scenes, a bedroom and a bathroom," he paused grinning at me and I fought down the memory of splashing water and echoing cries, "which I think you already know, and there are a couple of offices too, staff bedrooms, some storage, things like that."

I nodded again to let him know I was following along.

"We have a strict closed-door policy throughout the whole house. If the door's closed, don't go in. If it's open, you are welcome to use the room, go in, whatever, okay?"

I nodded again thinking of my precious equipment in the bottom of my wardrobe. It looked like it would be undisturbed.

"Cool," he added. "Let's go down to the next floor."

He led the way down the smooth wooden stairs until we were in the hallway below. Some of the doors were open and I could see beds in a couple of the rooms and a bathroom. I realised that there was the sound of voices everywhere - deep male voices talking, laughing, the sound of moving around and the sound of a busy house.

"Yeah, it's pretty busy here," continued Daryl, taking note of the increase in sound and movement. "This floor has the models' rooms. They share rooms three or four guys to a room. It's a bit of a logistical nightmare to get them all in sometimes." I glanced around; there were a lot of doors. "We try and give our veteran guys a bit more privacy and bunk the new guys up together. It usually works okay. Come on, let's go downstairs."

The large, spacious white rooms that I had first noted last night, were flooded with sunlight which poured in through floor to ceiling windows and patio doors, a slightly fresh breeze coming in with it. Outside, the lawns were green and the patios a continuation of the house. The open-plan ground floor included a huge kitchen, which was where most of the noise was coming from. There were people everywhere! Sitting on bar stools at the kitchen counter, relaxing on the sofas, raiding the fridge, sitting on the patio. I could see Sharon setting out platters of pancakes and muffins on the kitchen counters which were soon wiped clean.

She grinned and waved at me when she saw me and a few of the guys looked over and smiled friendly smiles too. They were mostly younger than I was, maybe around nineteen or twenty, athletic looking, fit, strong, not as hot as Jay of course but . . . Shit, why the hell was I thinking something like that?

I snatched my gaze away from the men in the room, not easy since there were so many of them, and concentrated on what Daryl was saying. My heart was pounding.

Daryl swept his arm around the scene. "Kitchen, lounge area - if it's not being used for a scene, you're free to relax in here. Help yourself to food and stuff in the kitchen. Sharon keeps it all well stocked. I do a grocery run every day just to keep up! If you check the shoot schedule you can see which areas are out of bounds and when. Oh, shit," he plucked some folded sheets of paper from his shirt pocket. "Here's your copy of the shoot schedule." He handed me the sheets. "It doesn't leave the grounds though, all right? If you go out, leave it here." I must have had a dumb look on my face because he explained, "Everyone values their privacy especially the new guys. There are real names on there and what they will be doing and when. It's not information either they or we want publicly known." I nodded again.

"Well, down the hallway there's Sharon's quarters. She lives here full time so if you ever need anything you know where to find her. Pete lives in too; he's one of the house chaperones, so again, if you have any problems you can go to him. Usually he and Connor split the on-duty shifts between them, but of course, Connor's not here so, it's just Pete."

Something was bugging me about what he'd said. "Why do you need chaperones? Everyone's over eighteen aren't they?" I asked worriedly.

"Of course they are," he asserted. "We check and double check everyone. We just call them chaperones, like in a dorm block at college. They're there to help and to sort out problems. A go-to guy, you know?" I nodded and he turned and showed me a large separate room again filled with white and black leather couches. A row of TVs hung on one wall with shelves filled with games consoles and controls underneath. The other end of the room had more couches and a pool table. "This room's pretty popular," laughed Daryl. "A lot of the guys hang out in here."

He continued with the tour and by the time we had finished the ground floor, my head was spinning. Another room used as a set, bathrooms, a huge laundry room, Corbin's office, a storage room full of sports equipment, and another equipped as a gym. Daryl told me about the personal trainer who came in every day, a dietician, a financial advisor, a doctor. I couldn't believe the resources available; it must cost a fortune to run this place. The house was huge and all-purpose, designed for housing large numbers of people, feeding them, entertaining them and well, filming them. It was such a world away from what I had seen over on the other side of the city; everything here was so comfortable and relaxed and yet business like too. I was staggered.

"Have a look at the schedule," suggested Daryl, as we wandered back into the now quieter kitchen and helped ourselves to breakfast. "You'll see what a normal week looks like here."

I sat at the counter and unfolded the pieces of paper. This morning there were two photo shoots taking place first thing followed by two more before lunch. A couple were with two guys and the others with one guy on his own.

"We do a stills photography session to accompany each scene we shoot," explained Daryl, as he poured himself some coffee and took a first sip appreciatively. "Stills are usually done in the mornings. These two guys," he pointed to the two down to do a photo shoot on their own, "are newbies - freshmen we call them. We start them out with a solo; they jerk off on camera and we get a chance to see how well they perform and whether or not they might fit in here at CF." He poured me some coffee and I sipped it absently, nodding to show I was listening, though everything Daryl was telling me was eye opening. Jerking off on camera? God, that was . . . intriguing.

I swallowed down hard at the thought. Showing off my inadequate skills in front of an audience was not something I had ever wanted to do or even thought of doing. But it was kind of exciting . . .

"We're shooting more behind-the-scenes videos these days too," continued Daryl brightly. "The feedback from the fans is that they enjoy seeing the guys outside of the scenes, get to know them a little better, so we're trying to give them that." He poured himself some more coffee and munched on a muffin as I thought over what he had said.

"What do you mean by fans?" I asked suddenly. "You don't mean that the guys in the videos are actually, well, famous?" I felt like an idiot. What a stupid question to ask.

He put a blueberry muffin on a plate in front of me and replied thoughtfully, "Well, yeah. In a lot of ways they are."

"Really? But I mean," I couldn't help leaning in a bit closer and saying quietly, "These are porn films!"

He laughed. "Yeah, they definitely are, but Edward, we're not embarrassed or ashamed of what we do. So we work in the adult entertainment industry, so what?" I looked at him carefully. So what? Did he mean that? This was porn we were talking about, sleazy, unsafe, illegal, all that stuff. I looked around me and felt my ideas shift. It really wasn't all like that, was it?

"It's a huge industry, Edward," Daryl elaborated. "Sure, it's not all as good as it could be but at CF we pride ourselves in treating all our models like the great guys they are. Our core models have been with us for a few years now. They like the money they make, like spending time with us here, enjoy making the videos and enjoy the celebrity that goes with it. You can't be shy in this business. None of the models would be here if they didn't want to be seen naked on computer screens across the world."

I thought about this as I drank my coffee. I'd always kind of assumed that anyone performing in a porn vid had to be coerced in some way. I mean, who would actually want to do that? But what I'd seen last night and listening to Daryl now was making me realise that, in some cases, that was a wrong assumption. Travis and Jay had certainly enjoyed themselves. Twice. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat at the thought.

"We encourage our members to email or call in telling us what they liked or didn't like about each new scene we produce. They can comment on our Facebook and Twitter pages too," continued Daryl, waving the remains of his breakfast muffin in the air. "We add two new scenes to the site a week plus bonus extras, so about ten a month in total. Also, each guy who stays on here gets a profile video shot and that gets added to the site, and we also produce DVDs which have extra scenes on them not released online. So there is a hell of a lot of content for members to comment on. And they do comment! They tell us which guys they think are hot and which are not. They have their favourites that they comment on regularly. We use the feedback to know what content to provide in the future. And the guys love knowing that there are fans out there that follow their work."

My head was reeling at this insight to the porn industry. Facebook? Twitter? I'd had no idea it could be so organised, so respectable.

"Come on," said Daryl, wiping his hands carefully on a napkin, "Corbin wants to see you before we start work; he has a busy day planned for you. If you want it, that is." He glanced at the last muffin on the plate, shrugged, then grabbed it and began to eat it as we walked.

My head was spinning. Everything that I had seen and heard since I walked in that door had been a revelation. And not just the work side of it. I still couldn't get my head around the way I had reacted to the scenes last night. Though I was trying not to think about it, I knew that I'd been more turned on than ever in my life before. The sight of two guys - two hot attractive guys - having sex had been beyond my imagination. I felt the twisting fluttering sensation in my stomach again as memories of last night filled my mind. Jay's smile, Jay's broad strong shoulders, Jay's back arching as he came . . .

Shit, I was growing hard again at the thought of it. Resolutely ignoring what was happening in my pants, I followed Daryl out of the house into the bright sunshine, across the patio and over to the extended garage building where he had said the production offices were. I tugged on the hem of my shirt nervously and ran a hand through my hair. I was embarrassed to see Corbin again after what we had worked on together last night, and what he had caught me doing. But I guessed that I would just have to get used to it as I was going to be working here. I paused mid-step, my mind clearing like a huge door had just been opened and a fresh invigorating wind was blowing towards me. I had made my decision. I was going to be working here. I was going to be filming guys having sex.

And you know what?

I think I was looking forward to it.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry if this story is a bit slow, it turns out I don't know how to write a quick/short story! We get to meet Jasper in this chapter though, thought you might like that.**

**THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed, read, favourited or rec'ed this story. I really appreciate your encouragement and constructive suggestions. Keep up the great work!**

**Thank you also to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and huge thanks to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing despite my punctuation disasters.**

**Sadly I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher (I wish!) I make no profit only have fun. Lots of it.**

* * *

><p><em>I had made my decision. I was going to be working here. I was going to be filming guys having sex.<em>

_And you know what? I think I was looking forward to it._

Chapter 5

Corbin indeed had a busy day scheduled for me. Over yet more muffins and coffee, we talked about my temporary contract and all the rules about the models privacy that I would need to agree to. We talked about the kind of work I could expect to be doing this week - as if last night hadn't cleared that up, and Corbin showed me where I could access the website so that I could see what actually looked like. I was blown away by everything. Not only would I be earning good money, but I was getting a free room and board too. I couldn't believe my luck.

"Tell me, Edward," Corbin asked, leaning back in his desk chair and looking at me over the top of his glasses that he had put on to read the paperwork. "Do you watch much porn?" Twenty-four hours ago, I would have been shocked at the question, but now, it just flowed right on by. I still flushed though. I'd never blushed so much in my life since yesterday.

"No, not much," I mumbled in reply, shifting in my chair uncomfortably and remembering ironically how I had thought that watching porn didn't have any effect on me.

"So you're bringing a fresh perspective, I like that," Corbin continued. "It'll be interesting to see what you do."

"I didn't really do a very good job last night," I felt I had to apologise. "I was um . . . well, pretty surprised by most of what I saw to be honest, and it threw me off a bit."

Corbin regarded me thoughtfully. "Well, I liked your take on it and the technical aspect was good; frame and focus were good. You kept your mind on your job despite the distractions. You did good Edward, honestly."

I was grateful for his encouragement. The thrown-in-the-deep-end feeling didn't go away but it helped to know that I hadn't made a complete mess of everything.

Despite the distractions - Oh God, the distractions.

I shifted in my seat again feeling physically uncomfortable this time. The naked bodies and the skin and the strength and the hard cocks and the blazing eyes and the cum and . . .

". . . So here's the new shoot schedule," Corbin was saying and I wrenched my mind back to the present again. "This could change any time though," he warned, doing the over the glasses thing again. "It helps to be pretty flexible. All the models are here for today's scenes, but after that, we could have a no-show or problems with paperwork . . . anything could happen." He looked like he was struggling to decide whether he enjoyed the challenge or was stressed by the admin details. He shrugged in a resigned kind of way and handed me my copy of the revised shoot schedule. I managed to keep my hand from shaking as I took it from him.

This was it. I was working for a gay porn company. I had a desperate desire to laugh, but I managed to fight it off. Just.

Corbin's eyes twinkled. I obviously hadn't hidden that as well as I'd hoped. Looking down at the schedule in my hand, I saw that I was down to film a 'behind the scenes' version of two of the photo shoots this morning, the first in the gym, the other outside. Then this afternoon, another 'hard core sex scene' as Corbin called it, which I was filming along with Pete. But he was letting me have the evening off. Generous. I wasn't sure if I could handle all that sex. And that was just today. I decided that I wouldn't look at the rest of the week just yet. I nodded at him to let him know I was okay with the schedule. We talked cameras and techniques for a few minutes before he sent me off to get myself set up with equipment and caught up with the first photo shoot of the day that had already started.

With the behind the scenes videos, I pretty much had a free hand to film whatever I wanted since it was a new concept to the site. Although, I thought ruefully, everything was a new concept to me so I'd just have to make it up as I went along.

I decided to use my own camera today and collected it along with all the other equipment I might need from my room. I had no idea what went on during a photo shoot. It couldn't be much different from a fashion shoot, could it? And I'd done those.

Actually, it wasn't very different, just the models had no clothes on. And had sex. Kind of.

Not even in the locker rooms at college had I seen guys so casual about being naked. When I first walked into the gym, both models were dressed in t-shirts and shorts. I introduced myself to the photographer, Adrian, and just settled back with my camera to watch what happened. I gathered that the two guys being photographed had filmed a few scenes before so they both knew what to expect. Unlike me.

Adrian had them pose on the gym equipment, lifting t-shirts and lowering down waistbands of shorts to reveal their asses, all the time talking them through what he wanted them to do.

"Look at the camera, now," he called and both guys stared sultrily into the lens. _Click-click._ "Now look at each other." _Click-click_. "That's it." C_lick-click_. "Kiss. . ." C_lick-click_. "More tongue." C_lick-click_. Yeah, it was a bit different from fashion modelling.

Then the clothes started to come off. They were unbelievably casual about posing together naked with hard cocks fully on display. I watched and quietly filmed in fascination as they kept themselves primed, stroking themselves on the side-lines whenever they wilted a bit and joking about it being 'too fucking cold to be doing this shit.' I watched the way that Adrian talked them through the positions he wanted them in, ones that would show off the curve of their ass or the flex of their abs or the hardness of their cocks. He was good, I acknowledged, and I stood behind him and filmed him directing the models and taking the pictures as if it was second nature to him.

Then he set up scenes as though the guys were in the middle of having sex. "Put your cock in his mouth." C_lick-click_. "A little more." C_lick-click_. "Now look at me, Jake." C_lick-click_. "Hand higher on his ass, that's it." C_lick-click-click_. "Hold that one, now, just the tip." _Click-click_. "Smile at him, Nick."_ Click-click-click._It was an eye-opening experience. However, at some point I realised that the feeling of shocked disbelief had faded and once I had allowed myself to let go a little, I realised that I really appreciated what I was seeing. These were two good-looking guys - I mean not good looking as in good looking but . . . oh what the fuck. I thought they were good looking, okay?

I breathed deeply as I thought this over. I wasn't just thinking objectively as a videographer thinking how they would look on the film, I was thinking personally. I liked how these men looked - their hard muscles and long cocks. I swallowed convulsively. Ignoring the fact that my pulse picked up when I looked at a hard ass, that my cock had been semi interested since the first t-shirt had come off, and that I could hardly tear my eyes away from big strong hands on smooth firm skin wasn't going to change the fact that it was happening. Watching other men made me feel things I had never felt before, things I knew I should have been feeling with women but hadn't. Ever. Hell, did this mean? I guess it probably did. I was attracted to men, not women.

Despite the panic and the fear that crept through me at this admission, I also felt a faint stirring of relief. It would explain things; explain why I had never felt what I should have been feeling, why I never understood my friends' obsessions with boobs and short skirts. Explain why sex had always been such a disappointment. It was because . . .

Men, not women.

I was gay.

I tried it out in my mind - scary and weird but . . . kind of okay. It rather made me feel relieved more than anything else did. There wasn't something wrong with me, as Tanya had always asserted, I was just attracted to men. I thought about this for a while, absently following Adrian with my camera as he positioned the models by the window and directed their actions. It was okay to be attracted to men. Much more okay to be attracted to men than just weirdly not attracted to women and crap at sex and worried all the time, anxious that there was something wrong, that I didn't fit in, that I would never fit in. Much better.

But shouldn't I have worked it out by now? I was twenty-five for God's sake! If I was gay, I should have known by now, shouldn't I? I scrubbed my hands through my hair and sighed distractedly.

Nothing was ever easy.

Adrian began another series of shots and I decided to get some close-ups of their faces as they joked around between shots. They were incredibly professional, following directions, switching between grins, and serious in an instant. "Turn around, Nick," directed Adrian beside me. "Run your tongue up his chest, Jake." C_lick-click_. "That's it, hold it there." C_lick-click_. "Move your hand up, Nick look down at him." _Click-click_. Adrian got his shots.

I looked at Jake's tongue. "Over his nipple," I suggested quietly. Hell, where had that come from?

"Yeah," Adrian agreed. "Flick the tip of it."

My heart rate was picking up again, remembering Travis and Jay last night.

"Arch your back, Nick." C_lick-click_. "Head back, offer him it, like that." C_lick-click_. "Nice."

Oh, fuck.

"Bite it." That was me. What was I doing giving directions? Jake took the hard nub between his teeth and Nick shuddered.

"Hold it there, deep breath, Nick." _Click-click._ "Lick it then bite it again." C_lick-click_. "Good, now put your hand in his hair Nick, hold that." C_lick-click._"That's great."

Yeah, great, but Jay had done it better last night. That 'something' squirmed inside me again at the thought. Last night had been . . .

Beautiful.

"Okay, that's it, guys, thank you," said Adrian beside me. "Good job."

Nick and Jake relaxed and sauntered over to where they had left their clothes, half-hard cocks bobbing as they walked. I followed them with the camera, enjoying seeing them relaxed and 'off duty'. Jake bent over and stepped into his shorts and I groaned. This was one hell of a place to suddenly decide that I liked guys. A slow smile spread across my face as I focused my camera on him, and filmed him cheerfully tucking himself back into his shorts, a cheeky grin on his face as he saw me. One hell of a place.

.

..~~GF~~..

.

Many hours later, as the end of my second live sex show came round, I was once again hard and horny. Yep, guys definitely did it for me.

This afternoon's scene had taken much longer to film than last night's with Jay and Travis, which had run through without a single stop. This afternoon, the guys kept stopping to readjust themselves and re-prep, jacking themselves and watching het porn on the flat screen in the room to get themselves hard again, which apparently was normal. For straight guys - which obviously I wasn't, because if I had wanted to keep it up, I would have been asking to turn that off.

I'd been surprised when the big-busted girl had first appeared on the screen when we were setting up the room. Pete had just grinned and said that most of the guys at CF were straight and some of them liked the sight of a woman or two to help them get into it. Okay then.

Working with Pete was as easy as working with Corbin. He was on first camera and he wasn't fazed by all the breaks we took. "Just take your time," he told them casually, "whenever you're ready." Gradually, we shot a scene that, when cut together, would appear seamless and pretty hot. Although the two guys were incredibly fit and energetic, by the time they collapsed on the bed, sweaty and spent, I didn't feel quite the level of intensity that I had felt last night. Perhaps it was because last night had been my first, perhaps it was because I hadn't been expecting anything, but whatever the reason something was missing.

I had a feeling I knew what itwas.

At lunch, which had been a free-for-all over tables groaning with food out on the patio, I hadn't seen him. Jay. Without admitting it to myself, I had been looking for him, looking for green eyes and dimples. I knew Travis had flown home this morning but didn't know if Jay was still here or not. I wasn't going to ask, of course not. Besides, we both had work to do. At the thought of Jay 'working', the 'something' in me had twisted. I wanted to see him again, naked and panting but I didn't want to share him, I wanted . . . him to myself.

Now, at the end of the really long day, I was facing some pretty big reality checks. I liked men and I probably liked one in particular. One that hundreds of people watched having sex every day. One who was most likely to be straight.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'd spoken maybe six words to him and then fled in terror when he had spoken to me as part of his scene, which is why it had scared the shit out of me because I had wanted to say yes. Even then.

Tired, I turned down the offer to go for a pizza with Pete and a few of the other guys. I was exhausted, emotionally drained. I wasn't the person I had been a couple of days ago and I needed time and space and some rest to come to terms with this. Grabbing a coke and a sandwich from the fridge, I went up to my room and closed the door quietly. Tonight I would sleep and then tomorrow I would face the day with a new perspective. I definitely wouldn't fall asleep the same way as I had last night - after jerking off desperately to thoughts of Jay.

My cock twitched eagerly at the idea.

Fuck.

**Jay's POV**

"For heaven's sake, Jay, stop looking out the window like a love-sick puppy!"

"Fuck off," was my muttered juvenile reply, but I kept looking out of the window anyway. He was out there somewhere, filming Josh and a new guy's photo shoot in the gazebo, wearing jeans that clung to his ass and a shirt that had the bottom two buttons undone allowing flashes of his belly button and a narrow line of crisp dark hair. I knew. I'd been watching for it ever since I'd first noticed it an hour ago. It made my mouth water.

Chip giggled delightedly. "Ooooh, you have got it bad!" I couldn't disagree. Edward. One look last night at his wide blue innocent-looking eyes as they darkened to sapphire in heated want, and I had been hooked. His just-fucked hair, wide shoulders and slim body were exactly what I liked in a man and the way he had been so turned on by last night's scene, was driving me crazy. If I hadn't promised to get this DVD cover finished today, I would have searched him out. As it was, the cover was practically a waste of time because I couldn't concentrate and Corbin had Edward so busy he didn't have a minute to spare.

He was here for a week, that much I had found out, though nobody in the office seemed to know anything about him. He had just appeared last night. Travis had said he was our 'new Connor' so I assumed that meant he worked in front of the camera too, but I didn't recognise him, and I watched a lot of porn. My breathing quickened and my jeans got decidedly tight as I thought about watching Edward in action. Those lust filled eyes, strong shoulders flexing, taking his weight as he pounded some guy into the mattress . . .

I debated having a quick surf through some of my favourite sites to look for him – where else could you do that at work and get away with it? But I knew I needed to concentrate on the DVD cover if I was ever going to get it finished and if I found him on-line, naked and panting, I was going to have to take a long comfort break in the rest room.

I flicked another glance out of the window and caught the movement of a grey and black checked shirt from behind one of the pillars of the gazebo. Still there. I sighed but then brightened. Maybe I'd see him at lunch. Chip giggled some more as he watched me and I threw a paper clip across the room at him. Ass. I got back to work.

Time dragged slowly by. My concentration was shot to shit and I couldn't get anything right. I tapped on the keyboard. My y-axis wasn't right and I just couldn't seem to get it into alignment. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't give a shit about y-axis placement right now anyway. My gaze flicked to the window again. He was out there, somewhere. I'd caught a glance of him half an hour ago standing under the pergola, close to Adrian's shoulder, leaning against him as Adrian showed him something on the screen of his DSLR. I swallowed down a resurgence of some kind of emotion that I didn't want to analyse. Edward could talk to whomever he wanted, could brush up against whomever he wanted, could . . .

With a growl, I pulled my attention back to my computer monitor, shoved the keyboard out of the way and pulled the touchpad forward. I needed to get this job finished and staring out of the window hoping for another glimpse of Edward wasn't going to get it done. The graphics was almost completed, I just needed to match it to the artwork and I'd be finished. I tapped to bring up the artwork I was working on today. It was part of a DVD cover for Connor and Kent's Vacation that we had filmed on the beaches of the west coast last month. I'd done a couple of scenes too and it had been fucking freezing. Dick shrinkage had been a real problem for everyone. I had never been so glad to get my clothes back on again in my life. And as for the sand… I shuddered at the memory. That stuff got everywhere. I resumed the programme and got back to staring at the toned hard bodies pressed together on the screen in front of me. Hmmm, I bet Edward's back looks as good as that . . . fuck!

I looked over to the window again. Who the hell had given me a desk by a window anyway? It looked out onto the garden for fuck's sake and across to the gazebo, where we shot scenes. Surely, anyone would be distracted. My attention sharpened as Edward stepped into view again. Stepping out of the shadows, the sun caught his dark hair and I sat up straighter in my seat as dark copper tones shone through the tousled I've-just-been-thoroughly-fucked hair. I swallowed hard - fuck, that looked amazing. The breeze was lifting the short strands and blowing them this way and that and I would have given anything to be right there running my fingers through it.

He had his back to me, filming the photo shoot that was taking place in the privacy of the gazebo. I could see Josh and one of the new guys getting into position as Adrian directed them. Edward was leaning over his own camera, head bowed, long legs firmly set, denim pulled snugly around what must be well-muscled thighs, and I sighed; such a beautiful tight ass. The breeze was still messing with his hair. It blew his shirt too, ripples of movement fluttering the fabric, just drawing my eyes again and again to his beautiful ass. God, I wanted that ass.

I groaned to myself. What in God's name had gotten into me? He was not the first hot guy to turn up here at CF. Hell, I'd been coming here for five years now and I'd seen dozens of them; blonde, dark haired, tall, short, muscled, lithe. I'd had sex with many of them too, but I'd never been so goddamned hooked on any of them, especially considering I'd only met him once, during a scene. A flow of heat rushed through me as I remembered how it had felt to be buried inside Travis knowing that this hot new guy was watching me intently. I'd sneaked glances at him whenever I could, one minute he was looking as wide-eyed innocent as a virgin did, the next as hot and desperate as me. Closing my eyes as I'd pulled Travis up to my chest, I'd imagined that it was Edward I was buried inside and I'd had to grip tightly to Travis's hip and bite my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep myself from coming too soon.

We'd laughed about it afterwards. T said that his girlfriend would be mad at me for leaving bruises on him and I'd apologised like mad and felt guilty because we'd done plenty of scenes together and I'd never marked him before. He said it was okay, it was a souvenir and I'd promised to buy him a beer next time he was here. But all the time, I was remembering the look on Edward's face just before he rushed from the bathroom. He'd looked hungry and desperate but terrified too. I really needed to talk to him and apologise for embarrassing him like that. I really needed to talk to him. I really needed him.

"Hey, Jay, you've got a package." Edward had disappeared from view again and I craned my neck to see if I could spot him. "Jay, you've got a package. Aren't you going to open it? What's got you so interested out there?" Something blocked my view from the window. What the hell, I was trying to see out here!

The something cleared her throat and eagerly waved a brown-paper wrapped box under my nose. Tearing my attention reluctantly from the window, I focused on the bright, vivacious woman practically hopping up and down in front of me wearing a big expectant shit-stirring grin on her face. With an internal groan, I knew that pre-emptive action was needed if I was going to survive this. Looking up at her, I threw her my best-patented Whitlock smile, the one that had been getting me my own way since I was a kid. Of course, I'd upped the ante since I'd discovered sex and now it never failed to distract women and a hell of a lot of men too. I just hoped it would work on Roz. Hiding my frustration, I looked up at her with the lopsided smile with added dimples and made sure to meet her eyes with mine. And I did the twinkle thing. It never failed. She giggled. Score. "Thanks Roz." I drawled, accentuating my accent for added effect as I took the box from her. She giggled some more and then frowned.

"Damnit, Jay, don't you think that you can dazzle me," she exclaimed as she glared at me. "What's so interesting out there?" She arched a brow and looked expectantly at me, a grin twitching at her lips. As if she didn't know what I was finding so interesting out there. She and Chip loved to gossip. Although Roz was my boss, she had seen me naked -on screen at least - and that kind of thing does tend to lead to some informality in the office.

"Nothing," I growled, determined to put her off.

"Well, whoever it is, he must be good to take your mind off your grandmother's care- package," she retorted knowingly. I was never going to live this down.

"Ooh, has Jay got another one?" called Chip from across the room, hurrying over. "Goody! Are you going to open it?"

"He is, once he's got his mind off a certain man out there." She nodded towards the window and Chip giggled again.

I groaned and looked at my computer screen. It was covered with marks as I had been flexing my fingers on the touch pad absently as I gazed out of the window. Sadly, I deleted it all. It looked like I wasn't going to get this job finished today anyway. "Yeah, hold on, I'll open it," I huffed and they both smiled indulgently at me. Sometimes I loved working here, sometimes I . . . wait, what was I thinking? I always loved working here.

Since I had moved out here permanently six weeks ago, my Gram had sent me a 'care-package', as the others called it, twice a week as she seemed to think that in the entire city of Las Vegas I wouldn't be able to get decent chocolate chip cookies. She was probably right. She hadn't given me a chance to find out though since she had sent some out twice a week, every week. That was my Gram for you.

I opened up my package and Roz and Chip dived in and helped themselves, distracted from my Edward obsession temporarily. Double chocolate chunk today, my favourite, but worth the sacrifice. I'd lived with Gram and Pops since my parents died and although I'd been upfront with them both about how I had paid my way through college the last five years, I don't think either of them really understood. And I didn't think that graphic details were necessary. I had explained to them though, that it was no good them introducing me to any more of their friends' and neighbours' granddaughters. They had taken it fairly well overall and had started introducing me to their grandsons instead. Their straight grandsons, so obviously, they hadn't fully tackled the concept that their grandson was gay, but at least they were trying.

I read the note that Gram had put in with the cookies, snatching a few out of the box and hiding them in my desk drawer before they were all eaten. _Dear Jasper H. Whitlock Jr.,_she began, making me smile as always. She'd addressed me like that since before I could walk. I read the rest of her note affectionately, though there was nothing new that she hadn't put in each of her previous ones. She was asking how my new job as a graphic designer was going. Telling me how proud they were that I had graduated and got a fine new job, how much they missed me, asking whether I had met any nice young men and, if not, the new lady at the bakery had a son just my age and she could introduce us. I smiled, glancing out of the window again.

I'd already met a fine young man, one I wouldn't mind getting to know much, much better. Shifting in my seat to try to ease the growing problem in my pants, I glanced at the clock and worked out I had about half an hour before lunch. If I concentrated now, I could get as much of this done as possible, before going to look for Edward. That thought didn't help ease my problem but it did give me new-found enthusiasm. Edward was one hell of an incentive. However, before I could even re-open the programme page, I was interrupted by a phone call. Fuck, I was never going to get this finished.

"Jay?" It was Daryl.

"Hey, Daryl."

"I have a problem. I'm stuck over at the suppliers and there's two guys flying in this afternoon who need picking up. Can you grab the Lexus and go and get them for me?"

"What time's their flight due?" I asked irritably, glancing at the clock.

"In fifty minutes," Daryl replied. I swore. That meant that I would have to leave now and miss lunch. Miss Edward.

Oblivious to my real reason for being pissed off, Daryl replied, "Just grab a burger while you're there, Jay. You'll get there in time but I'll call Micha and get her to let the guys know you might be late."

"Can't Micha pick them up?" I asked desperately.

"She's interviewing or something," Daryl replied unconcerned. "It'll be a ride out, you'll enjoy it." Nobody except Daryl enjoyed fighting traffic to the airport, but I didn't mention it, just started closing down my computer.

"Sure, fine, no problem." I muttered into the phone, while my eyes searched the brightly lit garden for signs of a bronze haired, blue-eyed man who I seemed to be becoming addicted to.

"Great, here's the details," and Daryl read out the names of the guys and flight numbers, which I dutifully wrote down. Hanging up, I grabbed a few cookies, glanced out of the window one last time and headed despondently out of the door. Oh well, I'd try to find him when I got back.

.

..~~GF~~..

.

Three and a half hours. Three and a half fucking hours. That's how long I spent waiting at the airport.

The first guy, Miles, turned up fine, but the next one missed his flight. We had to wait around for him and although Miles was an okay guy, he was only eighteen. Seven years of life makes a hell of a lot of difference. Miles spent the whole time we were there talking about his girlfriend and the colleges he had applied to and TV shows and . . . he was like an eager puppy. Had I ever been so fucking annoying? Probably.

I sucked it up, smiled, and answered his questions about CF, after all, I was representing the company this afternoon, and the time dragged by so fucking slowly. Letting Miles's inane chatter float by me, I thought about stormy grey-blue eyes, tight black jeans and flashes of flat firm stomach. Overall, it wasn't a bad way to pass an afternoon.

The other new guy finally turned up looking nervous and I herded them both out to the car as fast as decently possible. I knew the guys back at the house were going out for pizza tonight and I planned to make sure Edward was invited along too. Traffic was hell, as usual and by the time we got back and I handed the newbies over to Micha, almost everyone else had left. Feigning nonchalance, I checked every single available room - gym, kitchen, games room, even the pool.

No Edward.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I wouldn't be able to talk to him until tomorrow. Then a thought struck – that's if he was here tomorrow. In a panic, I ran over to the production building and grabbed the new shoot schedule that I had shoved in a drawer. Edward, Edward, Edward. His name was all over it. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to push it back into the drawer when something else struck me. Was he working behind the camera or in front of it?

Bringing the now rumpled sheets back out of the drawer, I hesitated. My hand was shaking, actually fucking shaking. Because it mattered. If Edward was modelling for CF, if he was working in front of the cameras, he was off limits.

One of the rules, one we all lived by as models, was no sex between shoots. No sex after blood tests, to be precise, and definitely no off camera action here at the CF house. I'd got used to it over the years but it was one thing I wasn't going to miss now that I had changed jobs. However, if Edward was modelling . . .

I flattened out the crumpled paper and read more carefully. Second camera, second camera, behind the scenes . . . I breathed out a sigh of relief, almost wilting against the side of the desk. Because that man with the fuck-me-now eyes was mine. I just had to make sure he knew that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What did you think to meeting Jasper? <strong>

**And just to let you know, next chapter is the one you're waiting for!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This chapter turned out a lot longer than planned so I split it into two. But that does mean that next weeks chapter is ready to go! **

**THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed, read, favourited or rec'ed this story. I really appreciate your encouragement and constructive suggestions. **

**Thank you also to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and offering great ideas and huge thanks to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing despite my punctuation disasters.**

**Sadly I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher apart from a few (okay, a lot) of videos and pictures. I make no profit only have fun. Lots of it.**

* * *

><p><em>I breathed out a sigh of relief, almost wilting against the side of the desk. Because that man with the fuck-me-now eyes was mine. I just had to make sure he knew that. - Jay.<em>

_~GF~_

Chapter 6

Edward

When I woke up it was like I was a different person. Well hell, I guess I was really. For starters, I woke with a raging hard on. Not just the morning semi I-need-to-take-a-leak variety but also the I've-been-dreaming-about-sex-all-night-and-I'm-so-horny variety. Not that I'd had much experience of the latter before now, but enough that I could recognise the difference.

It was as if a dam had been broken overnight. My dreams had been so vivid, so compelling that I now had to shake my head and wake my befuddled brain up in order to sort out which were dreams and which were memories of things I'd seen in the last couple of days. It was hard to work out in some places.

All I knew was that I'd never dreamed like that before. My cock throbbed in agreement. Glancing down at the tangled sheets around my legs and the sweat stained t-shirt I wore, it didn't look like I'd had much rest, but conversely, I felt great. Rested and comforted at the same time as hard and horny. It was a hell of a combination.

And the dreams, oh God. I blushed in the weak morning sunlight just thinking about them now. Dreams that in my waking hours I would never have imagined I had been capable of. Though, of course, I'd been given a hell of a lot of inspiration lately. I'd dreamt of strong arms, powerful thighs, flexing muscles and straining bodies. Of lips and teeth and hands and cocks. And sex. Lots and lots of sex. I'd dreamed of the unknown sensation of filling another man with myself, and most enticingly of all, of being filled. Of feeling that untouched part of me stretched and filled with hard and strong, with thick and long. Need squirmed in my lower body as fear bloomed in my mind but I pushed it away, it had just been a dream. A dream of a strong hand holding firmly to my hips as the other grasped my cock just so and stroked me hard while forest-green eyes looked down intensely into mine and . . .

. . . Oh . . .

. . . fuck.

A pulse of awareness shot down my spine. I felt heat flush across my face and chest as a delicious burn spread inexorably through my abdomen to my aching groin. I welcomed it as my cock throbbed, my balls tightened and my orgasm broke free.

Oh . . .

Fuck.

I felt it with every fibre of my body. It was almost painful the way it squeezed my balls and clenched my stomach. Gasping for breath and sweating, I raised my head from the pillow and looked down my shaking body to where my hand was wrapped around my still pulsing cock, fingers placed just so. I was vaguely aware of having pulled a couple of strokes and that had been it. I'd come hard and fast, toes curled up as white sticky lines painted across my abdomen and over my t-shirt at the thought of sex with a man with wicked green eyes.

Oh no.

Panting, I sat bolt upright in bed panicking. I couldn't be thinking about him, I just couldn't. It was wrong. He was probably straight - nearly all the models here were. I couldn't think about him like that. _But you did watch him have sex with another man the other_ _night_a helpful inner voice reminded me. I groaned and flung myself back on the pillows and went to run my hands through my hair in my usual frustrated fashion, but stopped myself in time when I remembered that my right hand was currently covered in sticky come. Great. Just great.

I wiped my hand on my t-shirt - I was going to need to do some laundry at this rate - and untangled my feet for the second morning running. Being here at the CF house was confusing. Watching men have sex together was, well, not so confusing anymore to be honest, but I was just going to have to get used to the idea that just because I had watched something happen through my camera lens didn't mean it would happen in the real world. It was all just for show.

But what a show.

Still feeling the residual effects of a rare astounding orgasm, I forced the thoughts of a green-eyed man out of my mind, dragged myself out of bed, rummaged through my bag for some clean clothes and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. This time I was more aware of the sights and sounds around me as I moved through the huge house. I could hear the unmistakable sounds of a house full of men getting ready to face the day - the deep rumbling of voices and the heavy pad of bare feet on wood. I could smell the aromas of sandalwood and lime, musk and spice drifting in steamy clouds from the shower rooms and bedrooms as deodorants and shampoos were being used. I took a deep breath of the mix. It felt right somehow.

I'd made a rather major discovery about myself while being here, one I couldn't believe I hadn't realised before; that broad shoulders, powerful thighs and strong hands were far preferable to me than delicate frames, soft bodies and painted nails. That deep husky voices were more of a turn on than higher pitched ones and that sex was never going to be the same for me again.

Washing and dressing quickly, I thought about my future. Where the hell did I go from here? I'd never been outgoing or sociable, not really feeling as though I fitted in anywhere and I'd always been so damned shy. I guess now I knew why. Consequently, I didn't have much experience of dating, I'd just never felt the inclination. The only two girls I'd ever dated had approached me and asked me out - one in the College library and then Tanya in a coffee shop where I'd been trying to study. So I'd had no practice asking girls out at all and couldn't see how a change of gender was going to make things any easier. How the hell did a guy ask another guy out anyway? And what if he wasn't gay? I shuddered to think of the trouble getting that one wrong could cause. And what did two men do together anyway? I snorted a self-mocking laugh at that thought. Okay, so I now knew what two men 'did together' but what did they do on a date apart from that?

Chewing anxiously on my lower lip as I made my way back to my room, I contemplated a future with no dates at all, because that's what was going to happen. Even if I did find a man attractive, I had no way of knowing if he was gay and absolutely zero chance of getting up the nerve to ask him out even if he was. And then . . . I wouldn't know what to do with him anyway. Did men kiss on dates? What if the guy wanted me to kiss him? Did you do it the same way you did with girls? Should I shave? Tanya had never liked my scruffy stubble but did other men like to feel it?

And how would I know?

And what did I do with my hands?

And what if he wanted sex?

I felt myself starting to panic and realised I was pacing up and down in my tiny room practically hyperventilating. I shoved my hands in my hair and gripped tightly. God, I wasn't ready for sex. I couldn't do the things I'd seen done here even if I had dreamed about them. I couldn't . . . I mean I wanted . . . but . . .

I sunk down onto the side of the bed, elbows on knees and buried my face in my shaking hands feeling so out of my depth I could cry. I realised I was breathing really quickly and shallowly again so forced myself to sit up straighter, slow down and take deeper breaths. How the hell was I going to handle being gay? Just thinking about being with another man was going to give me an anxiety attack; I wasn't cut out for this. I was going to die a lonely old man. An incredibly horny lonely old man.

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I tried desperately to pull myself together. For God's sake, it had only been a few days, no a few hours since I realised I liked men. I couldn't expect everything to be easy could I? I took a deep breath and worried my lower lip with my teeth again. It was going to be bruised as hell if I didn't pull myself together. Truth be told I was scared shitless; I didn't have a clue what to do. I'd rather do nothing and not have all this worry than do the wrong thing and not like the results. In fact, the more I thought about it, doing nothing was beginning to sound like a good plan. Keeping quiet and safely in the background had sort of worked for me for the last twenty-five years, so it was a plan I wouldn't mind sticking to. Besides, I told myself, I had a few more days here in Vegas to get used to the idea of liking men and to try to figure out what was going to happen with my life now. I didn't have to rush into anything. I could take my time. Lots of it. I felt my anxiety levels lessen as I thought about it. No one needed to know. I wouldn't try to throw myself ineptly at some guy and no man would be bothered with me anyway. So that's what I'd do. I'd keep a low profile, not make my new self-discovery obvious, work hard and not worry myself sick over what I would do if I miraculously went out on a date with a man and he decided to kiss me when I hadn't shaved.

That was my plan.

Feeling calmer about things, I resolutely pushed the memory of a crooked smile and green eyes safely away and let myself think about the next few days here in the CF house. I smiled a slow smile. Keeping a low profile didn't mean I couldn't still enjoy the scenery while I was here. The naked kind.

~GF~

Breakfast was as busy as it had been yesterday. I was coming to realise that all meal times were like that here. I understood now what Corbin had meant by the house being like a hotel. I followed the sound of voices and the smell of bacon and pancakes through the ground floor of the house to the kitchen and out onto the patio through the floor to ceiling glass doors. It was quite cool outside still but the fresh air helped wake me up. Perhaps that was the idea. I joined the scrimmage at the kitchen counter to help myself to food, finding myself hemmed in by Josh, who I had filmed during his photo shoot yesterday, and Pete, who was piling food onto his plate like there was no tomorrow. How did the guy stay so skinny? I felt their arms brush and rub against mine, and even Josh's hip as he reached for some juice and I felt myself blush at the innocuous touches. A couple of days ago, I would have been shy at the physical closeness, now I was embarrassed that I realised I liked it. Not much of an improvement.

Pete nudged me with his elbow and gestured to a smaller quieter table in the sun near to the pool. "Want to sit over there?" he asked. Grateful not to have to sit nervously alone in the middle of the crowd, I nodded and followed him. Skirting around a tall guy who had someone in a playful head lock, causing his ass to swing around in a very distracting way, and a couple of quieter guys who looked a bit nervous as they drank orange juice and watched everything with wide eyes. New I imagined. I knew how they felt.

"Mmmm, I'm starving," moaned Pete, throwing his tall, slim frame into a chair and attacking his food with gusto. "I hardly ate anything last night."

Tripping over my feet as I tried to get to the table as inconspicuously as possible, I asked, "Didn't you go out for pizza last night?" I sat down awkwardly and tried to keep my eyes on my food and not on the twelve or so other men hanging out on the patio - some of whom I'd seen naked. Oh God.

Pete lowered his voice and leaned across the table towards me. "Yeah, but I spent the whole night babysitting six newbies who kept wandering off chasing skirt and trying to sneak onto any slot machine they could find. They're not even old enough to drink, I felt like their father trying to round them up and spoil their fun."

I couldn't keep an amused smirk off my face, and seeing it, Pete cried indignantly, "It's all right for you; I'm taking some of them out again tonight. I'm going to be a wreck when this week is over." He put his hand dramatically over his heart and I diplomatically smothered a laugh and didn't reply. Pete grinned, went back to spearing some more fruit and pancake onto his fork. "God, I miss Connor," he sighed. "Not that you're not doing a great job," he added hurriedly looking anxiously at me. "But he's always so good at keeping an eye on the new guys." He ate some more of his breakfast with a gloomy air that wasn't at all real and I ate mine slowly, trying not to spend too much time looking at Pete's hands, his shoulders, that guy's broad chest, Josh's jean covered ass . . . I quickly pulled my eyes back to my plate again. Not giving myself away was going to be more difficult than I had thought. It was like I had suddenly given myself permission to admire the male physique and now couldn't stop. Shit. This was going to be hard work.

"Say," Pete said suddenly and I jerked my glance back to him guiltily. He was looking speculatively at me and I had a moment of panic that he had realised I was looking at men differently today. How long was it okay to look at a guy's ass for anyway? Was there some kind of universally understood set amount of time? "You're the new Connor this week," continued Pete, confusing me as I tried to work out how that related to ass watching. "Want to come out tonight and see the sights of the gambling capitol of the US in a totally non-alcoholic, non-gambling kind of way?"

"Huh?" was my unintelligent response. What was he on about?

"Come out with us tonight," he repeated. "The more responsible people the better!" He pointed between himself and me with his fork and grinned. "It'll be fun!"

Getting back into the conversation, I thought about what he'd just said and replied, "You've just told me they were a nightmare, now you want me to volunteer my services?" Truth be told, I wouldn't mind a bit of sightseeing myself, but I wasn't sure I wanted to be responsible for a bunch of other guys too. Especially if I couldn't keep my eyes off them for the wrong reasons.

"Oh, two are going home today anyway," he replied, digging into his food again. "And another one too if I get my way. He doesn't really fit in," he added. "Mind you, there's four more flying in later so it's not going to get any quieter."

"Four!"

He swallowed round a mouthful of pancakes covered in syrup and shrugged unconcernedly. "Yep, it's a pretty constant stream. Of course, we only actually work with a few of them; a lot of them don't work out for whatever reason. So, are you up for helping out tonight?" He looked hopefully at me and actually batted his eyelashes. I made a mental note to never do that myself.

Fighting not to smile at his antics, I asked cautiously, "What would we be doing exactly?" I really wanted to see Vegas at night and this might be my only chance, but I wanted to stick to my 'keep in the background plan' too.

"Oh, it's just some touristy stuff. We'll see the fountains at the Bellagio then over to T.I. to watch the pirate show there and then on to a fabulous burger place I know to eat ourselves silly. Come with us, you'll enjoy it." I found I really wanted to, so with some trepidation I agreed. He grinned. "Great, if there's time we always try and take the newbies sightseeing."

I ate some more of my breakfast, allowing myself glances every now and then at the models and staff who were eating too. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't looking for the particular dimpled grin that I had dreamt about. But I knew I was. There was a lot of movement on the patio and in the kitchen as everyone helped themselves to food, and moved around talking to each other. I saw Daryl join in and a few other people I now recognised as being staff and Sharron good-naturedly produced more and more food, which was quickly whisked away. For the most part, the atmosphere was lively and boisterous and it was hard to remember that we were all here to work.

Movement at the edge of the patio caught my eye. It was just someone walking round into the backyard from the front of the house. I couldn't really see who it was amongst all the trees and other stuff the garden was full of but I was sure it was him. One glimpse of his back with its strong shoulders, his lean shape and the loping confident way he walked and I was sure it was Jay. I felt my heart rate pick up and I flushed at the idea that just knowing he was near was enough to do that to me. It was stupid. I didn't even know the man. I'd just touched him once on the hand, had looked into his eyes and hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since. Or dreaming about him.

Why him? He wasn't the only dark haired man here, the only one with long legs and strong muscles, or the only one with a crooked grin and a sparkle in his eye. In fact, really, there were plenty of guys here with more muscles, who were taller or better looking, but there was something about Jay that was captivating to me. Something right. Sighing, I watched in a kind of heated turmoil when he was greeted by some of the other guys with grins and slaps on the back as he strode across the patio, confident in a way I could never hope to be, towards the food counters.

I half-heartedly speared food with my fork and moved it to my mouth but I wasn't concentrating on anything but him. It was the way he moved, I decided, he was cocky almost, graceful and lithe. And what the hell was he wearing? Trying not to be too obvious, I shifted in my seat so that I could see around Pete's tall frame and over to the kitchen side of the house. Over his worn black jeans he wore a loose white shirt and, holy hell, a black leather vest. I swallowed, hard. He had on again the leather wrist cuff that he had worn during his scene with Travis and I almost groaned at the memory of seeing him wearing nothing but a band of leather against his sweat-slicked skin.

He carried his plate over to one of the tables, his lean muscular body moving easily amongst the crowd, and sat down. Immediately joining in the conversation, I watched in hopeless fascination as he smiled his carefree dimpled smile, laughed, joked and talked with the other guys. I was consumed with irrational jealousy that he'd chosen to sit there and at the same time with utter relief that he hadn't come to sit near here. I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. I shouldn't be watching him, wanting him. But there was no denying that I did. He seemed to be looking for something as every now and then he'd glance around and I'd duck back behind Pete before Jay could catch me watching him. Because God wouldn't that be embarrassing?

The guys at his table seemed to be discussing the shoot schedule as a copy of it was passed to Jay, who scanned it eagerly. He seemed satisfied with what was on there and went to hand it back across the table but a breeze blew the paper from his fingers. Jumping up from his seat, he reached for it before it could blow away, bending down to the patio where he had put his foot securely over the wilful piece of paper. His worn, soft jeans pulled taut as he bent over, smoothing around his slim hips and pulling tightly like a second skin over the perfect round curves of his ass. Oh God. I groaned aloud and cursed under my breath at the increasing restriction in my own jeans. Traitor, just go back to sleep like you've been for the last two decades, I thought desperately at my swelling cock. But my cock had decided what it liked now, and it liked Jay's ass.

Tearing my eyes back to my plate, where I had decimated the last of my pancake with my fork, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and started to push the crumbled useless pieces around the plate. It couldn't possibly be okay for a newly discovered gay man to drool over a straight man could it? Even if said straight man had sex with other men as his job? Was that right? It didn't sound right. I was so confused!

Pete cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows at me questioningly, but I just slunk down lower in my seat and concentrated harder on my plate. He glanced round himself to see what I had been looking at. He was, of course, just in time to see Jay standing back up again and resuming his seat. Shit. Anxiously, I waited for the questions, the ribbing or the lecture but Pete just turned back round and casually carried on drinking his coffee. I suspected that he was hiding a smirk as he drank though. Just great. Now Pete knew that I had it bad for Mr Unattainable-Probably-Straight-Porn-Star, could it get any worse? I sunk down in my seat a bit more and resisted the urge to lean to my left and watch to see if Jay dropped anything else.

"We'll book a minivan taxi for tonight," Pete announced suddenly, making me jump. "That way we can fit everyone in."

Desperate to encourage any conversation that wasn't about me, my inconvenient 'crush' or anything even vaguely connected to sex – not easy around here - I grasped hold of the conversational opening. "How many are going tonight? How many of these guys are new?" I asked it as casually as I could manage nodding over to the other occupants of the patio while still keeping my eyes firmly on the table. "And how many of them are . . . er . . . old?"

Pete raised an amused eyebrow. "We prefer veterans," he supplied dryly. "Old is sooo depressing. And our most popular models, ones that are on exclusive contract with us, they are our Core Models." I nodded, listening as I fiddled with my drinking glass. Pete twisted around in his seat again and examined everyone there, returning some nods and waves before turning back round again. "We've got two returning for their second or third visit, I can't remember which, one who has been with us a year or so, one Veteran and the rest are new." Obviously, Jay was the Veteran but I was impressed he could remember all the rest.

"You get dozens of guys through every month and you recognise them all?"

He gave me a significant look, and cocked a dark eyebrow. "I never forget a good looking guy," he stated teasingly. "And that includes you, Edward. If only I hadn't got a gorgeous boyfriend already." He sighed extra dramatically and put his hands over his heart before cracking into a laugh. I felt fiery flames flush my cheeks and ducked my head, half-embarrassed, half-afraid. How did he know? What had I done to give myself away?

You idiot. Staring at Jay and practically drooling over his ass gave the game away in no time flat.

Watching me carefully, Pete added seriously, "Don't worry about it, Edward." He leaned back casually in his chair, closed his eyes and enjoyed the sun for a moment. I was glad to no longer be under his scrutiny. "We may be outnumbered but this is definitely what you might call a gay-friendly environment."

"How outnumbered?" I mumbled, clutching at straws but trying to make the question sound casual. "How many of the models are actually gay?"

Pete frowned in concentration as he thought and then replied, "Well, I've seen all the application forms and according to them, all the new guys are straight, and I know all the Veteran models working the rest of this week are too, so it's a straight house at the moment." He threw me a wink. "Doesn't stop us looking though." I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat; I didn't think anything would be able to stop me from looking now.

I rubbed unconsciously at my chest as I sat in the rapidly warming sun. It felt like my heart was being squeezed. Pete had confirmed it. Jay was straight and I had just realised that I was gay and had developed a crush on a straight man all at the same time. My life really was shit. I sighed and tried to concentrate on the positives. I wouldn't have had any chance with a man like him anyway and even if he had been interested, I wouldn't have known what to do with him. He was so far out of my league, even if he had been gay. He met all these amazing looking guys every time he was here, he was obviously popular and he was a Porn Star for God's sake. He probably had fans and, oh God, girlfriends. I'd be better off sticking to my 'in the background plan' while I was here and not humiliate myself any more than necessary. The 'something' in my chest twisted at this thought and I growled at it. I could not, would not have . . . feelings for someone so completely unattainable.

Pete started muttering about getting on with the day's work and he stood, gathering up his used plates and utensils. "See you later Edward," he said as he walked away. "Don't forget, six thirty out front."

I nodded in reply and started to clear up my own stuff. I was filming a full scene this morning with Corbin and I was wondering if I should sneak back to my room for a quick bit of relief before I had to watch Josh and his equally toned scene partner have sex right in front of me. Despite the amazing orgasm earlier, the way my body was feeling right now, it might be a good idea. This place was going to wear me out.

I kept my eyes firmly away from Jay as I headed back to the kitchen but the 'something' in me was telling me that he was watching me. He watched me stack the dirty dishes, watched me turn towards the door. He watched me as I walked out. Moments before I passed from sight, I couldn't resist turning my head a fraction, just enough to check. Our eyes met. Like magnets drawn straight to each other. He was watching me with a look of burning intensity in his eyes, his jaw set. One more step and our line of sight was broken. I felt shaken. What the hell was that and why had he been looking at me like that? My heart was racing and my body had loved the shocking power of it. One thing was for sure, I definitely needed to go and do some 'prep' before filming now. And I needed to find out what that look had been for and find out how to get more of them.

Yeah, the 'do nothing plan' that had sounded so good only an hour ago might not work.

I was so screwed.

* * *

><p><strong>So, next chapter the boys may or may not actually get within speaking (or something else) distance of each other! <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

.

**In case you are joining half way: ****This is an Edward/Jasper story set in the world of Corbin Fisher, a gay porn company. Apart from names and a smattering of details, the CF world is entirely made up by me (starting with the fact that there are no girls in my CF films! As it should be in my opinion!) **

**If you are offended by male/male sex, pornography or sex for money then this is NOT the story for you. However if you are not offended and are over 18 then this is a sexy/fluffy/angsty good old fashioned romance, so dive in! Oh, and I write a lot of UST apparently. You have been warned.**

**If you would like to visit the Corbin Fisher website to find out more about them and see pictures of gorgeous guys visit my profile for a link. (Obviously, for over 18's only)**

**The wonderful Mina Rivera has made a beautiful banner for the story, which you can also find on my profile.**

**Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and offering wonderful suggestions that make this story better and to sue273 for doing a brilliant job of beta-ing despite the fact that punctuation is a foreign concept to me. **

**Thanks also to my FaceBook friends for all the inspiration! Love you guys!**

**Also, I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher. (Actually I have a rather extensive library of films, but none of the boys in person *sigh*) I of course make no profit from this, only have fun.**

**I should also say that I completely adore Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathbone, who my two main characters are based on, and write this full of love and respect for them both. (But Rob, really, the hair?) And, no, I don't own either of them either. What is wrong with my life?**

**Longest AN ever now complete.**

* * *

><p><em>I felt shaken. What the hell was that and why had he been looking at me like that? My heart was racing and my body had loved the shocking power of it. One thing was for sure, I definitely needed to go and do some 'prep' before filming now. And I needed to find out what that look had been for and find out how to get more of them.<em>

_Yeah, the 'do nothing plan' that had sounded so good only an hour ago might not work._

_I was so screwed._

~GF~

Chapter 7

So, at last, the longest day ever was nearly over and I was still screwed. I felt like banging my head back against the door frame I was leaning on. Only this meal to go and then I could crawl into bed and sleep. If I could. After a full day of work and a full evening of sightseeing, I was still as wound up now as I'd been when our eyes had met at breakfast this morning. Of course, it hadn't been the only time our eyes had met today. Oh no.

We'd gone from yesterday, when I didn't even know if Jay was still in Vegas or not, to today where I hadn't been able to turn around without finding him somewhere nearby watching me. He was driving me crazy. With that leather vest, that I wanted to slide my hands inside and his worn black jeans that seemed to just mold to his ass and legs, and with his eyes, his lips, his smile, and his voice . . .

But something had been conspiring against us all day long. Admittedly, at first it was me. I hadn't wanted to actually go near him because what would I say? 'Hi, I've just realised that I'm gay and even though you're not, I really, really want to touch you. Is that okay?' He'd probably run for the hills. But as the day went on, filming took forever and quick breaks into the garden for hot, dry air and cool, wet sodas were all I could manage, it occurred to me that fate was being a bit of a bitch.

He had rushed out of the office building once as I had stepped outside to gulp down some much needed water. It was almost as if he had been waiting for me. Stupid idea. Our eyes had met and there was some kind of mixed up message thing going on between us just before I got called back onto the bedroom set to carry on filming. And later, he was there again in the garden eating a sandwich, sitting on the side of the pool, jeans pushed up his shins, feet in the water when I came out to eat at lunchtime. We'd looked at each other again. Eyes snapping to the other's in an instant, not caring who else was around to see. My mouth had gone dry, my heart pounded and all I could feel was confused want. And in my uncertain-never-done-this-before mind, I'd thought I'd seen want reflected back. But that couldn't be right, could it? I'd watched helplessly as, his sandwich forgotten he drew his feet from the water and stood up about to move towards me, when he was called back to the office building to take a phone call. He'd cursed, he'd hesitated, his eyes burned into mine but he'd turned from me and strode angrily away across the lawn and I knew then that something, though God alone knew what, was happening between us. And what the hell was he doing in the office building all the time anyway?

The day just disappeared. What with hot, sweaty sex that turned me on and made me yearn for the courage to experience it for myself, to nervous newcomers who shot their loads in about five minutes, making me worried that if the time ever came when I was with a man that's what would happen to me, humiliating as that would be. The two newbies were calmly scheduled to do the scene again tomorrow and we'd worked at getting lots of footage of touching and kissing that just made me yearn all over again.

And in between the working, the yearning, the going out and seeing Vegas in a non-alcoholic, non-gambling kind of way, I thought about Jay. About how it was not just me looking at him, but him looking at me too. Yeah, okay, I'm not exactly quick at picking things like that up but by the time it was evening and we were rolling up at the burger place it had finally dawned on me. But what I wanted to know now was why? Why was he looking at me as if he wanted to touch me too? Why did he nearly growl at one of the staff this afternoon when finally we'd had two minutes of downtime at the same time? He started walking towards me with blood pumping intensity and purpose, only to be halted halfway across the patio by a brightly dressed woman asking him to hurry over to Corbin's office to help him with something. The look he'd given me over her shoulder, part apology, part fierce scowl, had had me biting my lip as my insides squirmed.

I wanted, but I knew I shouldn't want.

I hoped, but I was scared of getting what I hoped for.

I cowered, but I didn't have the courage to change.

In short, I was a complete fucking mess. This man was going to drive me insane, if Pete didn't do it first.

A whole bunch of guys squeezed into a minivan taxi?

Including Jay and me?

Thanks Pete.

Great idea.

If I'd known that Jay was going on this outing, I never would have agreed to go. Or jumped at the chance. One or the other. By providence or just plain shitty luck, whichever way you looked at it, we'd ended up seated about as far apart as it was possible to be in the cramped space. We'd given each other one look, one hard, heated look, as it seemed we were destined to do, and then 'babysitting' duties took over.

The ride was noisy with everyone talking at once, music – teenagers most of them don't forget - pictures with iPhones and the ever-increasing bright lights giving everyone an energy high. They'd fired questions at us but soon concentrated on Pete and Jay when they'd realised that even at my advanced age, I'd never been to Vegas before either. I'd strained to hear Jay whenever he spoke. His soft voice and slightly drawled accent made my toes curl and other parts of my anatomy sit up and take notice as well.

The new guys had been eager to ask questions about CF too, about the 'CF Education' that was part of the promotion to fans. I knew that Corbin always started the new, inexperienced guys off with a solo video filmed in private so that they got used to performing in front of a camera. Then, as they were ready and if they were willing to try, he introduced them to getting their first blow job from another guy, giving head, topping a guy and finally being on the receiving end themselves. It had all seemed academically interesting when it had first been explained to me. Now, I was almost jealous.

I had been relieved to be able to pile out of the minivan and get away from the questions that piqued my interest and a voice that piqued something else. We had been dropped near the Bellagio onto a crowded street, Pete and Jay had expertly shepherded the younger men over to where we could all see the fountain show when it started. A couple of the guys were quieter, but the rest were like eager puppies tumbling about the place. Within ten minutes, I had begun to understand Pete's earlier comment about feeling like a parent. Somehow, we'd ended up with Jay on one side of the group, Pete in the middle and me on the other side.

When the music started, the crowed oohed and laughed, and pointed and gasped but even Elvis singing 'Viva Las Vegas' accompanied by twelve hundred water cannons couldn't stop me seeking Jay out with my eyes. Nor, it seemed, him me. The crowd and the noise had seemed to fade as I met his eyes and a thrill had run down my spine as I found myself locked fast in his intense stare. I'd known there were things showing in mine that shouldn't have been there; want and heat, attraction and need. I was wrong to feel that, to show that but I'd glanced away whenever my uncertainty grew, or my nerve failed. The last thing I'd wanted was for him to know I was afraid, confused and so damned new at this. So new that I didn't understand why a straight man would look at another man like he did me.

The music and water show finished and somehow it was decided to wait fifteen minutes for the next show and still luck, fate, fear, kept me from trying to move closer to him. I could feel the frustration flowing from him as once again his attempts to get closer to me were thwarted by lost children and panicking parents, by lost Japanese tourists and frustrated guides. All dressed as Elvis, I kid you not. Our group was busy with a barrage of iPhone picture taking and soon, all the possible opportunities disappeared or were lost or were left by me to slip away and then the next show started - 'This Kiss' by Faith Hill. Automatically, my eyes dropped to his lips as he licked them and I felt myself do the same in response.

Flushing, I watched mesmerised as he ran his tongue over his soft-looking bottom lip and I wanted to taste it for myself so badly. For me, until now, kissing had always been a perfunctory, wet sort of interlude to be got through before sex started. Tongues were awkward and rasping stubble had been severely complained about. But now, seeing just the tip of Jay's tongue made me squirm and want to feel it in my mouth, on my skin, anywhere. And the trimmed scruff on his face excited me as I thought about the feel of it against my skin. Again anywhere.

I tore my eyes from his mouth and caught the last few seconds of the water fountains in action as they powered high, solid looking jets of water into the air, which seemed to stand up tall and straight from the body of the lake, all beauty and throbbing power. With white spray raining down from the tips before they thundered exhaustedly back down to the placid surface, their strength expended but with the potential to start all over again after a short rest.

I scrubbed my hands roughly over my face and through my hair. I really had to stop thinking about sex. Smiling ruefully at myself, embarrassed at the way my thoughts went these days, I leaned on the top of the wall surrounding the lake and glanced to my left down the long row of men I was viewing this with. Skipping one by one over the chiselled handsome features, the softer promising lines and the interesting bone structures that Corbin had invited out here to the one face I was interested in - to Jay. I saw him watching me in return, wearing an amused double-dimpled smile below eyes that danced unmistakeably with thoughts of sex.

Oh God.

I knew I'd never have this man, but I think he'd already ruined me for anyone else.

Thankfully, before I could expire from lack of oxygen - I seemed to forget to breathe whenever Jay looked at me - Pete announced it was time to move on. He and Jay managed to get the whole of our group to our next destination, Treasure Island, without too many disasters. Although all the topless bars, topless clubs and almost topless girls were pretty distracting for the guys we were 'babysitting'. I just didn't get the attraction of jiggling flesh myself - God, why had it taken me so long to realise? Between us, we had managed to persuade the younger guys that photos outside the various nude clubs would have to do, even though at eighteen they could legally enter. We had all arrived, reputations intact, in the gathering crowd waiting for a pirate show. By this point, I had begun to think that staying in would have been a better idea. By the time the show was over, I was certain of it. Fate hated me.

The crowd had been restless and the show loud. The provocatively dressed pirate girls drew cheers and cat calls from the crowd though I felt my eyes fall on the flowing white shirt and tight black pants of the 'hero'. All he'd needed was a leather vest...

Somehow although he had started out standing several people away from me, Jay, complete with leather vest, had ended up right next to me. I'd kept my eyes fixed on the show, sexy pirate forgotten, afraid of making the wrong move, afraid of letting the moment go. Even in this crowd, I'd been able to feel the warmth of his body through my jacket and I had actually ached with the need to lean against him and absorb it. The show ended to cheering and applause and finding some small well of now-or-never courage I had turned to him, though what I was going to do or say I'd had no idea. He had turned to face me too; a look of desperate relief on his face that I thought was probably mirrored on mine too. He'd taken a breath, opened his mouth to speak and . . .

"It's you, isn't it?" A gruff excitable voice shouted over my shoulder. "Jay! The guy from the videos. Hey, Mike, it's him. I told you it was!"

Fans. Fucking fans.

I felt my heart sink again as I remembered it. As if I needed any reminding. He had fans. What the hell was I thinking? Mr Unattainable remember? Thumping my head back against the door frame of the burger place we'd finally arrived at, I managed to push the image of Jay and Pete - Pete! - posing for pictures from my mind and concentrated on the mouth-watering food smell filling the lobby. While we waited to be seated, a whole crowd again separated me from Jay but maybe it was for the best. Nothing could or would happen between us, right? The 'something' in me twisted. _Stop fucking doing that_ I thought desperately. _You're just making things worse._

My stomach rumbled, bringing my mind back to why we were here. This place Pete had brought us to really was amazing, like something from the 1920s. The roof of the main room had a grand coloured glass dome in the centre, dozens of white painted colonial-type columns reached right up to the ceiling and there were huge palm trees and ferns, taller than a man, all over the place. I wondered if we'd need a machete just to get to our booth. It looked like a swanky restaurant but served the best burgers in the city – according to them - accompanied by rock music and the sounds of the inevitable slot machines that were squeezed into any available space.

Before I could starve to death or any of the guys in our group could wander off, our server arrived to guide us through the jungle to our tables and I fell into step behind the others admiring the greenery and wondering how much watering so many huge potted plants needed. Anything to keep my mind off the fact that I now had to sit at a table and gaze at Jay. Without drooling. Or getting a hard on. Not a chance.

But I didn't reach the table. As the line of potential Corbin Fisher models snaked their way through the restaurant, a Veteran model stepped into place beside me and nudged me onto another path towards the edge of the room. I didn't hesitate; I fell into step beside him like we had planned this. I turned my head as we walked, trusting him to guide me, fixing my gaze on his profile and drinking him in. Strong cheek bones, heavy brows, full lower lip, determined chin. With a quick glance over his shoulder at the other guys, just visible through the plants and décor, Jay steered me unerringly between two of the giant fern plants, pushing the huge, rough fronds out of the way impatiently and taking hold of my upper arm to pull me into the dark shadows with him. I didn't hesitate, it didn't even occur to me. The plants settled closed around us creating a small intimate space, and were surprisingly good at blocking out some of the light and noise; it was private, dark, and just the two of us. With an impatient growl, Jay urged me back against one of the cool, white columns and placed his hands on the stone either side of my shoulders trapping me in place with his solid frame, surrounding me, only an inch or two taller than me but he leaned over me, taking my space and filling it with him.

At last.

Amongst the shadows, his dark hair flopped over his forehead and narrowed eyes bored into mine. Clenched jaw, dark scruff, full lips - oh God. With my hands uselessly at my sides – well, what the hell was I supposed to do with them? - I gripped the smooth cool pillar just to have something to hang onto. Shakily, I drew in a breath full of the scent of him, warm citrus and spice, and watched as he swallowed hard, the prominent Adam's apple in his throat bobbing right in front of me. I was fascinated by the hard shape and wanted him to do that again.

"Edward . . ." he breathed a sound, barely more than a whisper. His lips parting and pouting only fractionally, but I heard him, felt his breath, felt the strong emotion accompanying my name. I hadn't got a clue what to do. This was a man - a man! – holding me in his gaze, breathing my name like it meant something to him.

He shifted deliberately, bringing his elbows down to rest on the stone, lowering his body so close to mine I wouldn't have been able to slip a hand between us. I pressed myself back as far as I could go against the unyielding stone, my heart thumping in a mixture of fear of the unknown and want. A man! I was standing here with a man. And, oh, it felt right. We were too close for me to see his eyes now, I'd just go all cross-eyed if I tried and I was too mixed up, impatient and terrified to do anything other than feel, so I thumped my head back against the stone, closed my eyes and felt.

Felt the heat radiate from his body, felt the small brushes of leather against fabric, fabric against skin. Smelt the clean, citrusy, man smell that was all him and heard his harsh breaths as he fought to control his breathing too.

We weren't touching. Even though every atom of my body was screaming for contact, he remained poised in front of me, mere inches separating us. Close enough for me to feel and taste the warmth of his breath against my lips, far enough away to drive me insane. A tingling warmth began to spread from my chest throughout my body, beginning to burn and crackle with increasing heat as we stood there, together.

Yes.

I wanted.

My own breathing was as harsh as his and I needed, I needed something so badly. I needed him. Shit! I couldn't make the first move, I just couldn't. I didn't know how. Cursing, I could only wait and hope. The tension coiling between us was like a living thing and it was going to snap, it had to snap. I was starting to panic as I thought that he wasn't going to do anything to relieve it and it would be down to me.

But he didn't keep me waiting any longer.

And when he kissed me it was no girly first peck. Growling softly, still without bringing any other parts of our bodies together he crushed his lips to mine in a fierce, hot, hungry need that completely shattered me. I actually felt my knees weaken and my pounding heart skip a beat. Yes! this was so right! With my head reeling and my body sighing, I welcomed him like a dying man in the desert welcomes water. Like I needed him. Like I'd needed him for a long time.

Dimly, somewhere on the edge of conscious thought, buried beneath feel and scent and touch and need, I knew I was in trouble.

Struggling to deal with the sensory overload, I felt his firm lips move against mine, his strong tongue swiped along mine feeling like he was branding me, strength and scruff making it like no other kiss I had ever experienced. I was over-whelmed. I was finding my home.

I was as turned on as fuck.

Desperately grasping the smooth cool sides of the pillar with my hands, still not knowing what else to do with them and not wanting to do anything - oh God no!- that might stop this kiss, I parted my lips under his, inviting him in.

I could feel his mouth quirk into a smile as he felt my invitation and he pushed forward with the kiss taking advantage of my parted lips to dart his tongue eagerly into my mouth. At the first tongue-on-tongue contact, a flame of heat shot down my spine making my legs weak again and my body just beg. I was aching. Aching for more, wishing desperately that I knew what to do too. Jay knew everything. He sure as hell knew how to kiss, knew how to drive me crazy with just a look and knew how to take a man and make him his. I was depressingly aware that I didn't know any of those things.

The meagre few inches of air between us shrank as he moved closer, still with his arms on either side of me, he widened his stance so that his legs surrounded mine and assertively pressed his firm strong body flush to mine. Thigh to thigh, chest to chest, lips to lips. Oh my God! I'd never felt the like, with no soft squishy parts to get in the way his hard chest was flush with mine and, with a dissbelieving jolt, I realised I could feel his heartbeat thudding right next to my own. Heat, strength, power, need, want. I felt it all from him. I felt . . . Oh God. Unable to stop myself, I shifted my hips restlessly, needing, needing... something. And then there it was. For the first time ever I felt the long hard length of another man's arousal pressing insistently against my own. Oh my God! I was hard! When the hell had that happened?

About three days ago.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

At last.

Wanting to surrender but not knowing if it was right, I couldn't hold back a sigh although I wanted to let myself moan. Jay took it for the invitation that it most certainly was anyway. Shifting his weight to his hips, oh fuck yes, he pulled his arms from the pillar and gently cupped each side of my jaw with his, oh God, so strong hands. Holding my face still, he deepened the kiss, his tongue more fervently against my own, forceful and needy, stroking and teasing. He tasted me from my lips inwards and I loved every assertive second of it.

I delighted in the feelings his touch, his taste, his strength made me discover. I knew it was what I had been missing all this time. Stood pressed against the pillar afraid to move and ruin what was so perfect, I tried to process everything, tried to save every new feeling to memory, to catalogue it, to enjoy it.

It didn't register at first when the kiss slowed. I was so drowned by feeling that when he released my face and stepped back it took a moment for me to come back to reality. Opening my eyes and blinking in the shadowy gloom, I saw him frowning at me. He was looking in puzzlement at my hands. At my white-knuckled grip on the pillar. With my brain still not caught up, I didn't do anything, just stood there, heart thumping, breath rasping.

Even surrounded by shadows I could see as a scowl darkened his face, hurt and confusion creasing his brow and setting his jaw.

"If you didn't want that, you should have said," he spat quietly. "You didn't have to just . . . endure."

I blinked. What?

Dropping his chin to his chest, a defeated slump to his shoulders, he turned sharply and, pushing an armful of fern fronds out of his way, began to stride away from me. Frantically, I tried to make sense of what had just happened. He thought I hadn't wanted him to kiss me. Thought that because . . .

Because I'd just stood there like a frightened virgin. Because I hadn't kissed him back, had barely reacted at all. And okay, the frightened virgin analogy wasn't actually far wrong, but I'd wanted it all right. I watched the damn green fronds drop back into place, the 'something' in me screaming at me, my heart feeling all clenched again and my cock, well, best not to think about that. I couldn't let him go. Couldn't let him think that I didn't want this. Terrified or not, I had to do something. Darting through the annoying greenery, I sprinted the few steps to catch up with him, reached out and wrapped my fingers firmly around his wrist jerking him to a stop. He turned and looked at me, confusion on his face and disappointment in his eyes. I had to make this right. Now.

To the bemusement of the other diners, which I tried to ignore, I tugged hard and pulled him behind me back into the shadows behind the plants, the palm fronds springing back into place once again encircling us. Swallowing nervously - I could do this - I turned and locking my gaze with his, pressed my palm against his warm hard chest and tentatively backed him up against the now familiar white painted stone column. He moved back obediently, watching my every movement, confusion making him frown but hopeful anticipation making his lips twitch. At least I hoped that that was what he was feeling. I could be reading him all wrong. Then it was his turn to have his back pressed against the cold unrelenting stone and my turn to kiss him. I licked my lips nervously my heart thumping feeling a thrill of satisfaction as his hooded eyes followed the movement of my tongue. I could do this, he'd shown me how.

Stepping closer, I considered the angles and space restrictions. He was taller than me. I'd never kissed anyone taller than me before. My heart thudded in my chest as I licked my lips nervously again and watched as his brow cleared and his green eyes begin to regain their familiar sparkle. I felt my lips twitch in response.

This was stupid.

It was a kiss not a life or death decision.

Fuck it.

I took the last half step forward, bringing our bodies within a few inches of each other, just like he'd done. Taking a deep breath and really hoping I was doing this right, I reached forward and put my slightly shaking hands on his hips feeling the worn soft denim of his jeans and the smooth cool leather of his belt. Oh God, I was putting my hands on a man! My fingers slipped inside his belt loops and curled around them. Swallowing nervously, I pulled drawing our lower bodies snugly together. My knees almost buckled at the feel of his growing hardness against mine. Oh God, that felt so good.

Anxiously, I watched his face for a reaction. This felt good, and he had done it so it must be okay, right? In response, he smiled a teasing half-smile and curled his arms up behind me placing his warm hands on the backs of my shoulders and I thought I almost felt him shaking too. But of course that wasn't right.

His eyes were warm again now, dancing with anticipation and when he licked his luscious bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, I was done for. Tilting my chin up, I pressed forward the last little bit and met his lips with mine.

It was frighteningly familiar and yet excitingly new all at the same time. His lips were soft and wide and, tilting my head to the side, I felt the mutual rasp of stubble between us. I flicked my tongue along the full bottom lip that was just killing me and taking the free fall plunge, took it between my teeth and rolled it gently, flicking my tongue along its soft length. He tasted sweet and sharp, and I had to have more. Unbelievably, Jay groaned, opened his mouth beneath mine as he tightened his grip on my shoulders and nudged his hips rhythmically against mine, bringing our straining cocks tighter together. For a second, I really thought that I must have been dreaming, that I would wake up any second, hard and aching and alone, but this was real!

Feeling almost giddy with a mix of need and uncertainty, and unable to stop now, I slipped my tongue along his into his impossibly hot mouth, stroking and sliding against it in ways I'd never tried before. It was terrifying how right it felt. All I could think was yes, and I want more. A slow, aching intensity was building inside me and the only coherent thought that rose to the surface was why did I not know before? And then I found the answer right along with it; because I'd not met Jay before.

My heart did a swooping dive in my chest and I knew that I'd been right before; I was in serious trouble.

I wanted this man, this man who had seemed to be out of my reach. But he didn't seem so out of reach now, did he? Idiot, I reminded myself, he's still a star, he still knows more about sex than you'll ever know, he still has sex with other men for money. A cold hard lump began to form in my chest sitting heavily. I wouldn't be enough for him and I wouldn't have him to myself. It was shocking how much that last thought hurt.

Thinking about my lack of experience began to make me panic. How did I know I was doing this right anyway? Was it enough? Too soon? Not enough? The courage that I'd found from somewhere slipped away from me leaving me uncertain, double guessing myself and shaking inside and out. Reluctantly, I broke the delicious, enticing, arousing connection with his tongue and his lips and looked at the beautiful man in front of me anxiously. He could have anyone. Why would he want me?

Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself whispering, asking him anxiously, "Is this okay? Am I doing this right?" And biting my lip nervously, tasting him there, as I waited breathlessly for his reply.

He blinked slowly, maybe surprised at the sudden end of the kiss and the cold space now between us. I watched, anxiety rising as he frowned at me, stopping the maddeningly arousing rocking motion of his hips as he did so. Visibly gathering his thoughts he asked carefully and quietly as if the answer was seriously important to him, "What do you mean?" Confusion twisted his features and coloured his voice and maybe a bit of fear too. I was confused in return, what had he got to be afraid of?

Stammering from nerves I shifted my weight on my feet, a habit from childhood, and asked, "A... Am I . . . I've never d...done this before . . . It feels right to me but I don't know . . ." I trailed off, a cold icy sensation flooding my veins at the dawning look of horror on his face. Oh shit. Wrong move, Edward.

Letting go of me, and straightening up his previously languorous body, he rasped, "What do you mean you've never done this before? Aren't you . . . ? I mean they said . . ." He trailed off too his confused look morphing briefly to one of heart stopping devastation before setting into determined strength.

I wished I could see inside his mind, wished I knew what was going on in there. I shook my head mutely, not understanding what he'd meant only knowing that I needed to be honest with him even though it looked like it was going to be the end. Cold hard dread settled in my chest as embarrassed heat flushed my face. I withdrew my whitened fingers awkwardly from his belt loops and gave him the space that he so obviously now wanted. I had to try and explain. "I didn't know . . . until I came here I mean. And then I understood and now... It's all new... I mean, I had a girlfriend a few weeks ago!"

The blurt it all out method was really not working for us. Jay began to shake his head, closing his eyes and scrubbing his face with his hands in a way that was vaguely familiar. Then he straightened up completely, his face an impassive mask, gone the teasing smile, the twinkling eyes, the emotion. "I'm very sorry, Edward," he said formally his accent more noticeable. "I'd never have . . . pursued you like this if I'd known."

I opened my mouth to say that it was okay, that I didn't mind, that I WANTED, dammit, but he continued in the same flat emotionless tone, "I won't bother you again." I watched dumbstruck, my mouth dropping open slackly as he squeezed past me and roughly pushed his way through the wall of ferns.

What the hell had just happened?

And what was I going to do about it?

* * *

><p><strong>Phew! I'm exhausted after writing that! And, yes I know, I'm such a tease!<strong>

**Shout at me, guess what will happen next, anything you want, I'm always happy to see that anyone is reading this! **


	8. Chapter 8

**.**

**A/N: ****If you are offended by male/male sex, pornography or sex for money then this is NOT the story for you. However if you are not offended and are over 18 then this is a sexy/fluffy/angsty good old fashioned romance based in the world of a gay porn company, so dive in! Oh, and I write a lot of UST apparently. You have been warned.**

**Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and offering wonderful suggestions that make this story better and to sue273 for doing a brilliant and incredibly quick job of beta-ing despite the fact that punctuation is a foreign language to me.**

**I don't own anything Twilight, or Corbin Fisher. (Actually I have a rather extensive library of films, but none of the boys in person *sigh*) I of course make no profit from this, only have fun.**

**I should also say that I completely adore Robert Pattinson and Jackson Rathbone, who my two main characters are based on, and write this full of love and respect for them both. And, no, I don't own either of them. Pity.**

**~GF~**

* * *

><p><em>I opened my mouth to say that it was okay, that I didn't mind, that I WANTED, dammit, but he continued in the same flat emotionless tone. "I won't bother you again." I watched dumbstruck, my mouth dropping open slackly as he squeezed past me and roughly pushed his way through the wall of ferns.<em>

_What the hell had just happened?_

_And what was I going to do about it?_

Chapter 8

**Jay POV**

**.**

Thud, thud, thud.

I enjoyed my new routine of jogging to work in the mornings.

Thud, thud, thud.

The sound of my feet rhythmically hitting the sidewalk was calming, peaceful in a hardworking kind of way. Usually.

Thud, thud, thud.

Jogging the two miles of streets between my new apartment and Corbin's house gave me time to think, reflect. Today, I didn't like my thoughts much and my feet were just taking me nearer to my problems. Fuck. I turned off my usual route and headed towards a street with a steeper incline. Perhaps the extra workout would help me to forget what a complete asshole I was.

Not a chance.

If I hadn't been running I'd have slapped myself. Again. I couldn't believe I'd gone and done that last night. Couldn't believe I'd pushed myself onto a guy like that. I'd practically assaulted him for fuck's sake. Looking back, behind his lust-filled eyes it was patently obvious he didn't know what he was doing, but I'd been so turned on by him, I'd ignored all the signs.

And I did not break in newbies. Not anymore.

I increased my pace, the incline pleasantly testing my muscles, while the sun rose higher and the temperature began to climb. I felt sweat bead on my forehead and gather between my shoulders under my backpack. It was going to be a hot day today.

Thoughts of work and the temperature were not enough to distract me. My mind swung back to the complete fuck up yesterday had been. Edward looking thoughtful and pensive, Edward looking hot and sweaty, Edward looking like he was interested in me. But I wasn't interested in him - not any more. I wasn't interested in a man who had only just 'discovered' he was gay. Who the fuck did that anyway? I'd known since I was fourteen and I'd seen Jimmy Taylor skinny-dipping in the creek. I wanted a guy who was sure of himself, not someone experimenting and using a porn model to get his kicks before going back home to his girlfriend. I'd had that, thank you kindly. I wasn't going down that road again. I shook the sweat from my eyes and the painful memories from my head. No sir, I was keeping well clear of that. I needed to keep well clear of Edward. My steps faltered and I stumbled over thin air, as a weight seemed to settle in my chest at the thought. A hard cold lump, squeezing my heart.

Angry with myself, I pounded the pavement harder. I was not lost on Edward. I would not let myself be infatuated with someone who would never be ready to commit and who was only here for a couple more days anyway. At this point in my life, I was ready to look for Mr Long-term.

Sure Edward was a gorgeous specimen of a man. Even in the CF house, he stood out as someone special. My first sight of him had had me drooling; long, long legs, slim body but with strong shoulders, clutching a camera with a long fingered hand and looking at me as if . . .

I groaned and picked up my pace again, determined to drive this demon out of me. All day yesterday, he'd looked at me with heated want, his wide, dark-fringed eyes teasing me with their mysterious depths, or so it had seemed to me. Every time I'd seen him, I'd read 'want' in his body language even though he'd somehow managed to look vulnerable and faintly geeky at the same time as strong and sexy. Turns out that's a combination I liked.

I groaned as I ran, what was it about him? The first time I'd seen him, I'd instantly wanted him. Pure physical attraction. What does that say about me? I'd have fucked him right there and then, if Corbin had said Travis wasn't available. Or fucked him _and _Travis together.

I stumbled again, knees weakening. Holy Christ, don't think _that_again!

In those few seconds when I'd walked into the room ready to film the scene with Travis and had seen Edward clutching a camera, I'd been so glad that I had decided to retire so that I could tap that. Then when T had said - had seemed to say - that Edward was a model too, I was so pissed that I had missed my chance to have a scene scheduled with him. I'd never felt such instant sexual attraction, and I had been so sure he felt it too.

But he hadn't. Not for real. He was here to have some fun, experiment with his 'gay side' and then go home again.

I really wished things were different.

I was so fucked.

I sprinted up the driveway of the CF house, skidding to a stop to enter the code to the side gate. I had been planning to hit the gym to do some weights after my warm-up run but it had turned into a real workout and a good cooling down session was what I needed now after that run or my hamstrings would kill me.

Panting, sweating, 'stinking the place out of fresh air' as Sharon would say if she saw me, I avoided her kitchen and slipped in the side door nearest the gym and shower room. I'd do a cool down jog on the treadmill there and then hit the showers before getting to work.

The gym was a popular place any time of day or night. We all liked to keep in shape, most of us needed to, so the sound of the rowing machine in use didn't surprise me. Grabbing a towel from the rack, I swung around the doorframe and nearly fell over for the third time today. And for the same reason. Edward. He was across the room from me, sitting on the little sliding seat of the rowing machine driving and stretching practically every muscle of his body as he rowed steadily and rhythmically. How I suddenly loved the rowing machine.

The rower was positioned so that when you were using it, you had your back almost completely to the door. Just a little bit of an angle meant that I could see Edward's right side but unless he turned his head, Edward couldn't see me.

He was wearing a white tank and red shorts giving me my first opportunity to see what he hid under his clothes. Holy shit. I'd seen he had strong looking shoulders and a to-die-for ass, but I'd no idea he was so built. Rowing was obviously his thing because the repetitive flowing motion that I found so boring looked second nature to him as he drove his legs powerfully and drew the bar towards his chest, every muscle in his shoulders contracting with the effort. He must have the rower set to a high resistance; I could almost feel the effort every stroke was costing him.

Each muscle in his shoulders and arms was clearly defined as he worked, a faint sheen of sweat making his skin look so fucking lickable. I stifled a groan; if his back looked that good what did his abs look like? The smattering of freckles that I could see across his shoulders just begged to be traced and I wondered what patterns and shapes I could make between them while lying across his back.

I slid my gaze down, not lingering on his tight ass perched on the tiny little seat knowing that my body would react to it, and continued down to look at his oh so long legs. Powerful thighs, fuck yeah, a bit hairier than mine, and I choked back a chuckle when he was at the limit of his pull and his legs were completely extended. He had very knobbly knees. But that was okay, because he was just fucking perfect otherwise.

I allowed myself the luxurious torture of watching him for a few more minutes, enjoying the sight of his shoulder and arm muscles, watching as his shorts revealed hardened hamstrings that in my imagination met his glutes and created that perfect ass, which I couldn't see from here dammit, before he began to slow his strokes, reducing his workout. My time to leave.

I slipped away quietly, it would be better if I just kept away from him. It didn't seem to matter to my body that I now knew he was just here to experiment with his 'gay side'. I needed to keep away from him or I might do something, something else that I'd regret. Not wanting to meet Edward in the gym showers - or really wanting to meet him at all - I headed upstairs and managed to find a free shower up there I could wash and change in. Wash, take care of my Edward-working-out induced business, wash again and get dressed.

I stuffed my sweaty clothes in my backpack and joined the flow downstairs to breakfast. I'd worked up an appetite. Much as I loved having my own place, I really enjoyed being around the house. I always made a point to remember all the new guys' names, even if they didn't return and felt at my most comfortable amongst the crowd of guys. I slipped into an easy smile, pushing Edward to the back of my mind and said hi to the guys, gave Sharon my special smile with the twinkle that she always liked and, feeling more relaxed, headed to the counters where the food was, as always, piled up.

I ended up at the counter next to Pete who was refilling his coffee. I'd been kind of hoping to avoid him for a while. He fixed me with his assessing stare, looked me up and down for signs of what I didn't know, before casually returning his attention to fixing his coffee.

"Hey, Jay, come and sit with me," he asked, nodding out to the already sun-drenched patio. I glared at him suspiciously. I had a sneaking feeling he'd only asked me, no begged me, to go out with him and the guys last night because he knew Edward would be there too. I knew Pete well enough to know that he was such a fucking romantic and matchmaking was practically a hobby for him.

No matter what, I didn't want him interfering between Edward and me - not that there was an Edward and me, of course. But I knew Pete . . . Glancing over to where he had indicated, I saw only his plate on the table so it seemed safe and I nodded in agreement and relaxed a bit. Too soon as it turned out. He pounced.

"Good. I want to know why you ditched me last night!" he poked me in the chest with a determined finger. "Texting me saying you weren't feeling well, Jay! What was that about?"

I should have known I wouldn't have got away with leaving the restaurant so suddenly. Glancing round nervously to see if anyone else was listening to my humiliation, I mumbled, "I wasn't feeling well," and helped myself to food. Pete pushed the jug of milk towards me and I poured my usual breakfast drink.

"Well, come and sit with me and tell me all about it," he insisted, a determined glint in his eye. "I'll be over there waiting. Don't make me come and find you." Shit. Pete on a mission. I finished filling my plate though my appetite had all but gone now. Turning, I watched him settle in his seat and inch the chair round until he was facing the sun. Pete loved to soak up the sun in the mornings. Like Superman. I smirked at the thought. Superman indeed.

Casually – yeah, right - I looked round the patio, taking note of everyone who was there. I couldn't see any sign of Edward in the growing crowd and I'm sure I'd have seen him if he was there. The sun would have turned his hair the colour of an old copper penny. Beautiful.

Cursing under my breath - would I ever get him out of my mind? - I wandered over to join Pete, trying not to let him see how much I was dreading his inquisition.

Sliding into a seat beside him, not blocking his sun, I began to eat, determined to resist all questions and demands that Pete might make.

I ate some bacon, he drank his coffee. I fiddled with my glass, he drank his coffee. I ate some fruit . . .

I couldn't stand the silence any longer. My words exploded out of me in a barrage of released frustration. "Jesus, Pete, I fucked up last night! I did something . . . but I was wrong about him . . . and I wish . . . But it can't . . . oh God, it was all just a complete fuck up!"

He regarded me carefully, nursing his coffee. "You were having a bad day yesterday then?" he commented, looking at me for more.

"Pete, this whole week so far has been a mess."

"And last night?"

I sighed. I was going to have to tell him, but actually, now that I'd thought that I was starting to feel a bit, not better, but lighter. Telling Pete what happened, what I had done might help. "Last night I, well, I didn't exactly behave in a way my Gram would approve of." He just nodded noncommittally and I plunged on. "It's Edward." Pete flashed a brief smirk. He knew full well it was Edward that had me tied up in knots. Probably all the staff did. One big family and all. Gossips the lot of them. "Look," I continued needing to try and explain myself. "I don't know why but I got it into my head that he was a model too. You know, that he'd been around the block as much as I had. And so, when he looked as though he might be interested, I grabbed him, shoved him up against the wall and kissed him."

Pete's eyes were alive with delight. "Really, what happened?" He leaned in over the table drinking in my confession.

"You know what happened. I realised my mistake and left."

"Okay, but why? I don't understand, Jay, tell me all!"

I sighed and slouched back in my chair in defeat. "I can't do that again Pete," I replied quietly. "It'll kill me."

Abandoning his coffee, Pete ducked his head persistently until he made eye contact with me. "What makes you think this is the same situation?" he asked me quietly. "Maybe you're making it out to be worse that it is."

"How can I be? Edward 'suddenly discovers' that he's gay, gets himself a job at Corbin Fisher, flies out here and finds himself a guy to fool around with. Facts Pete. History repeating itself."

"The way I hear it," began Pete, carefully picking his coffee up again. "Corbin picked him up at the airport."

What? Was Corbin making the moves on _my_Edward? For a second, I literally saw red.

Pete chuckled brightly, enjoying himself at my expense. "Relax," he waved a hand dismissively at me. "I mean he offered him the job at the airport. Edward was about to fly home after another job or something, and with Connor injured we needed another man on camera, so Corbin hired him there and then. No pre-planning." He ended with a significant look.

I had to admit I was relieved. The thought that Edward had planned this, had come here deliberately just as Ian had . . .

I pushed the painful memory away; no way did I want to think about that scumbag again.

"That doesn't change the fact that he's 'just discovered' himself," I reminded Pete bitterly. "I mean who the hell doesn't know they're gay till they're . . . what is he twenty five, twenty six?"

Pete regarded me steadily. "Everyone is different, Jay," he said sternly. "There's no right or wrong way for everything. Try and remember that."

I shoved my hands in the pockets of my board shorts and nodded. He was right, of course, I shouldn't judge. "But it still doesn't . . ."

He glared at me, shutting me up.

"This is not the same," he stated. "It's about time you took a chance again."

I opened my mouth to tell him that I had no intention of taking a chance but he shut me up again with words that chilled my blood.

"Now, I've decided to help you. And God knows you need it."

Oh dear Lord, just when I thought things couldn't get worse.

He grinned wickedly. "You can thank me later." Then loudly and brightly, he cried, "Morning Edward," as he waved at a jeans clad, blue t-shirt wearing, scruffy haired man, who had somehow become the centre of my admittedly skewed world, as he approached the table.

"Play nice," Pete warned me under his breath.

Fuck.

I looked up at the man now standing next to the table holding a plate of breakfast and looking shocked and embarrassed – his cheeks were so pink I wanted to see if I could feel the heat. Edward shuffled his feet and looked imploringly at Pete.

"Er . . . I didn't know you were sitting with some . . . um . . . with Jay. I'll sit somewhere else."

"No!" cried Pete jovially, clasping his hands together and smiling his most engaging smile at Edward. I think the fucker even batted his eyelashes. I glared at him. "I asked you to join me this morning, and I've been looking forward to it." He kicked me sharply under the table and I hastily sat up and cleared some room on the small glass topped table. Pete was such a traitor.

Edward was still looking unsure, his pink flush deepening to a hot red as he noticed my bare legs and knees. Shit. I liked that he liked.

I was in so much trouble.

"Maybe Jay would prefer it if I sat elsewhere," Edward asked Pete imploringly as he firmly switched his gaze from my legs back to Pete.

"No, of course he wouldn't," replied Pete firmly before I could say that actually . . .

"Um, okay then." He lowered himself gingerly down onto the edge of the chair looking as though he was preparing to spring up again any second. I looked at his long legs in pale washed-out jeans today and thought about how hot he would be today wearing heavy denim when the temperature was due to soar.

Pete fiddled contentedly with his coffee cup again. I rudely remained slouched in my seat, hands shoved in pockets and Edward uncomfortably pushed some food around his plate.

"You know Edward, Jay here thought that you were a model at first," announced Pete brightly, breaking the ice. Edward dropped his fork with a clatter and I shot up straight in my seat so fast the damn thing skidded backwards. What the fuck Pete?

Edward looked pole axed, as he looked between Pete and me, as if searching for some hidden meaning, before settling on Pete's slim tanned face.

"You mean, he thought I was . . . that I . . . like you and Jay?" He sounded incredulous.

"Yes! He got the wrong end of that story! But who can blame him, gorgeous man like you?" I watched narrow-eyed as Pete slapped him on the thigh under the table. I almost growled. Hands off, Pete. Edward didn't know whether to laugh or say thanks and settled for doing a mix of both and ducking his head to concentrate on his plate. I smothered a grin - he was so damn cute - and made myself feel better by casually crossing my ankles and swiping Pete painfully on the shin at the same time.

He hid his wince and pouted at me. I gazed innocently back at him in return. This was all his fault.

"Anyway," he breezed brightly, turning back to Edward. "Us retirees have to stick together so it's behind the camera only for Jay and me now isn't that right, Jay?" Edward was looking back and forth between us again as if he was at a tennis match, before settling a penetrating gaze on me and speaking directly to me for the first time.

"You've retired?"

I nodded.

"You don't make films anymore?"

I shook my head this time.

"No more sex?" he asked sharply.

"Not on camera," I muttered, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. I _did_enjoy sex after all, and planned to still do it, thanks, just not for money anymore.

"Well, I've got to be going," announced Pete suddenly, jumping up from his seat. What the fuck? He was leaving me? Now? Alone with Edward? My mind kind of wanted to run in another direction at that thought and I hastily put a stop to that. There would be no 'alone with Edward' in that sense again. I felt a hollow ache in my chest.

I was in so much trouble.

"You two just stay here and finish your breakfasts and have a nice chat," ordered Pete - at least that's how it felt to me. "I'll catch up with you both later." That was definitely a threat. He waved cheerfully and I glared after Pete as he rapidly retreated. Then chuckled to myself as I realised Edward was doing the same thing. Both of us had been shafted by Pete, it seemed.

He glanced at me and caught my amused resignation at Pete, and made an acknowledging sort of half shrug before staring down at his plate and shifting scrambled eggs around. He was so damned adorable sitting there all embarrassed and tongue tied and sexy as fuck.

Shit. I'd told him I wouldn't bother him again. I'd told _myself _I wouldn't bother him, but still I found myself looking and wanting and needing. I had to say something to him. I had to apologise for last night, I had to, well, make things right with him. Somehow.

I manned-up and nodded in the direction Pete had disappeared in, though since Edward was still fixing his eyes on his plate, I didn't think he'd see. "Sorry about him," I apologised a bit hoarsely, "Pete's just . . ." I trailed off and shrugged unable to describe Pete - politely that is.

Grey-blue eyes looked up at me from under his brows, hanks of hair lifting and falling in the breeze. Now you see his eyes, now you don't. "Yeah, I noticed," Edward muttered, shrugging back awkwardly and flicking a quick blink-and-you-miss-it one-sided smile. "I like him, though, he's okay."

Like him? What did that mean? I felt a burn like acid and realised that it was jealousy. I was so fucked. "Yeah, he's great. I'm sure Scott, his _boyfriend_thinks so too." I stressed the word boyfriend and then felt like a complete dick for doing it. Edward was going to think I was nuts. Or jealous. Either way I was fucked.

But Edward just looked faintly puzzled, his brow creasing in a way that just made me want to smooth my thumb over it – so completely fucked - and nodded in agreement.

He picked desultorily at his food and I did the same. Really, there was no way either of us was going to get any protein in us this morning at this rate. I groaned to myself, my mind had gone straight to the gutter at that last thought, and pushed my plate away.

"So you've really retired now?" Edward asked, an undertone of need edging his voice. Was he upset I wouldn't be a 'star' anymore? I swallowed at the acidic taste that thought brought. Ian had loved my 'celebrity' status.

"Yeah," I grunted. "That scene with Travis was my last."

Needing a distraction, I stood up and he looked up at me in alarm. Alarm that I was leaving? Did he want me to stay? Even after last night? Distracted, I blurted out, "I'm going to get some more moo juice, want a refill?" I nodded at his almost empty coffee cup.

"Moo juice?" he asked, a delightful expression brightening his face. His eyes even twinkled dammit. I swear I blushed as red as he managed to do.

"It's what my Gram always calls it," I muttered defensively, snatching my empty glass from the table and heading back over to the serving counter. But not quickly enough to miss the wide grin that had spread across his face. I stumbled. Holy Jesus, that man had a smile to stop traffic.

I brought him a coffee back along with my mo . . . milk and slumped back in my seat waiting for what I didn't know. Ridicule? Footsie under the table?

He was leaning on his elbows on the table, the plates and silverware pushed to the side, completely opposite to my admittedly fake relaxed attitude. He looked nervous, on edge. I sighed, my fault, of course. From deep inside, I felt an overwhelming urge to do anything, say anything to make things right, to put that carefree delight back on his face again. I repressed the urge. I wasn't going to let myself get hurt again, remember? I needed to say something though.

"Listen, Edward . . ."

"Umm, about last night . . ."

We both spoke at once.

"After you."

"Sorry, go ahead."

And again.

I opened my mouth and took a breath to try again, just as he did the same. This was ridiculous! I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped instead and he grinned sheepishly back. I think my heart broke just a little. I wanted him - I wanted not just his body and his fuck hot kisses, I wanted all of his contradictory self. The shy smiles and the delighted grins, the humour and the seriousness, the strength and the insecurity. I wanted it all and it was killing me that I couldn't have it.

I'd been hurt before. I wasn't going to let myself be hurt again. It was simply a matter of self-preservation. Besides, he was leaving in a couple of days, right? There was no hope for us anyway.

"I wanted to say I was sorry," Edward stated, his voice quavering a bit, while I was wasting time musing over depressing thoughts. He cleared his throat. "For what I did last night," he continued in a set determined tone. I think he'd been practising that line. I looked up at his face sharply, took a good look at the scruffy jawed, dark shadowed face that was across from me. Did he sleep last night? I felt guilt twist around inside me. I was such an asshole. Those were my words. Or they should have been my words. _He_was sorry? He carried on gamely not meeting my eyes, his voice low and earnest for all his hesitant sentences. "I don't know if, well, if you wanted me to . . . but last night, well, you kissed me first so . . ." he was almost squirming in his seat, dark pink staining high across his cheeks, a mix of worry and determination in his eyes.

"I wanted," I replied hoarsely, unable to let him suffer in uncertainty despite my resolution to break free from whatever this was. Oh, God yes, I wanted. "Edward, God, I need to apologise too. I came on too hard, grabbing you like that and making you . . ." It was not a good idea to be reliving last night. Not now. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." So, so, sorry.

"Oh," he swallowed and I watched him fidget nervously, his long fingers casting shadows on the table. I couldn't help the thought that his hands would feel incredible on my skin. "So then it's because I, um, don't have much experience then? I wasn't very good?" he asked quietly, meeting my eyes at last with his clouded grey ones anxious while sadness swam in their depths. He brought his hands together and gripped them so hard the knuckles were white.

Jesus wept. I couldn't let him think that. I leant forward on the table matching his pose keeping my hands to myself only by sheer effort of will. I wanted to touch him, comfort him so badly. "Edward, if you'd been any better I would've melted." My accent came out thickly dammit as it always did when I was full of emotion and I watched as his eyes clouded over for a moment with desire rather than anxiety.

"Oh, so why . . .?"

Our voices were quiet as we spoke. Our faces were so close as we leaned across the table towards each other, I could almost feel his words brush across my skin.

What to say to him, what to say? Well, not the truth obviously. Not the fact that I craved him, that he already had a little piece of my heart and I was in danger of handing him the rest. I sighed. "Edward, I like you and you're a great kisser, don't worry about that, but you're only here for a couple more days and . . . and I think I'm going to get hurt here." Shit. So much for not telling him the truth. I think I blushed as dark a pink as Edward did as the truth sort of tumbled from my mouth. God, the man was beginning to rub off on me. Oh fuck. Figure of speech. Don't think about him rubbing off on me.

Too late.

I shifted in my seat trying to get a bit more comfortable, damn shorts didn't hide much, so it was a good thing I was sitting down. His mouth had dropped open – _not helping Edward_– and he looked startled, pleased, confused again and then excited.

"So," he said, still not loudly but slowly and clearly now. "You like me then, yes?"

I nodded dumbly. I'd kinda let that horse out of the barn.

"You wanted me to kiss you last night?" Not only last night. I nodded again resignedly. What the hell.

"You're gay then?"

I nodded dumbly again then realised with a start that it was a question. What the fuck? Of course, I was gay. I'd been eye fucking him all day and then I threw him up against a wall and kissed him. What did he think I was? Straight?

Oh, shit. I could see in his face that he had. Oh Edward. I felt a slow heavy sinking feeling in my chest - _what the hell was it with feeling this stuff?_I could understand that it must be confusing for him to be here among all these straight models who had sex together but he was obviously as new to this experience as he'd said he was. He had the worst gaydar of anyone I'd ever met. I was terrified he would come to mean something to me and then would change his mind and go back to his straight home and his straight friends and his straight life. I didn't think I could handle that.

"Oh fuck, Edward, yes, I'm gay. Yes, I like you but I'm sorry, that's where it has to end."

The breeze blew some pink petals from the stuff growing on the trellis onto the table and I crushed them fiercely between my fingers feeling like a complete shit for having to say this to him. If he did like me, I was hurting him.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

Good question.

Shut up.

"Because you're leaving soon, because I can't do this. Because I need a guy who is comfortable with what and who he is. I can't be an experiment or a learning experience. I've been treated that way before and I just can't go down that road again."

He opened his mouth to reply but I cut him off, "We can be friends while you're here. I'd like to hang out with you but there can't be anything more than that." Where had that come from, what happened to staying away from him? What was I, a masochist? Spending time with him would kill me.

He looked at me, jaw set, a slightly wistful look in his eyes. "I get it. I don't know enough for you," he ventured.

"No, that's not it. Look, a couple of years ago there was this guy, he turned up here doing some work in the office and we, well we got together. He said he'd only recently realised that he was gay and that he'd seen my films and he asked me to show him everything, to teach him and, well I fell for him hard. And then he left. Went back home to his girlfriend and his daughter and his life and I can't risk that again. Edward, you're incredibly new to what you think you're feeling and you want to experience new things. I get that. But I can't teach you. I can't do it again. I'm sorry."

He was regarding me carefully. God what was he thinking? I could almost believe he was hatching a plan.

"But we can be friends?" he asked giving me a small smile and a hopeful look.

"Yeah, I'd like that." It would kill me later but I'd like it now.

His smile brightened into a slow beaming slightly lopsided one, the corners of his eyes creased and crinkled and his eyes sparkled. Traffic stopping. "I'd like that too," he told me sincerely.

Trying to slow my pounding heart, I gave him back one of my own knock'em dead smiles and was rewarded when his breath caught and his eyes widened. I grinned more genuinely and he caught on to what I was doing and laughed. Such a beautiful sound. I joined in and suddenly the shitty day got a whole lot brighter.

Sitting up straight, I held out my hand towards him over the table. "Perhaps we should start again. My name is Jasper Whitlock and I'm a graphic designer here at CF."

His eyes widened in comprehension and they darted briefly over to the production building before meeting mine again. Sitting up straighter himself, he reached forward and took my hand. It was like the first time. Like fire under the skin. He asked with his eyes but I shook my head and whispered, "No, just friends Edward, please?"

His shoulders slumped slightly and a little of the brightness dimmed from his eyes but he shook my hand formally and replied, "Edward Mason, videographer, pleased to meet you."

~GF~

How long we sat at that table talking I don't know. The sun got hotter and Edward's nose got a little bit pinker but I didn't tell him. I didn't want to break the spell. I was enjoying myself. Edward was funny and earnest, passionate about his work, happy to listen to me blather on about mine. It was all goddamned perfect. Eventually, Pete came out apologetically and let Edward know that they were waiting for him on set to start and our time was over. After Pete left us to it again, I spoke up quickly, before I could change my mind, "Want to get out of here tonight? Come over to my place, I'll cook?"

"You don't live here?" he asked in surprise.

I laughed, hell no, it was like a frat house here. I'd had enough of that. "No, I just work here, though it's hardly nine to five. I have a place - it's nothing like this house. It's just a small apartment, and the building is kind of old, and I haven't finished unpacking yet . . ."

"I'd love too."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah or I wouldn't have said it!" he laughed.

I'd never felt like this. Never. It felt like a date. It wasn't. We were just friends. But it felt like a date. I had a sudden urge to run home and check what was in my closet. What the hell could I wear?

Edward was laughing at me again as he stood up. "I'm sure your place is great, just like you. I'll see you later." The backs of his fingers brushed the back of my hand with the barest of touches and it could have been an accident, could have been my imagination but in my mind, that long fingered brush had been everything. Hello, goodbye, see you later, mine.

In that moment I knew. I'd fallen. Hard. I was going to get so hurt.

* * *

><p>I've really enjoyed writing Jay! Back to Edward next chapter. What will he do next? Will Edward get his man? Stay tuned to find out!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**.**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long! **

**Thank you to Mkmmsm Fanfiction for pre-reading for me and offering wonderful suggestions that make this story better and to sue273 for doing a brilliant and incredibly quick job of betaing despite the fact that punctuation is a foreign language to me.**

**I don't own anything Twilight or Corbin Fisher. (Actually I have a rather extensive library of films, but none of the boys in person.*sigh*) I, of course, make no profit from this but just have plenty of fun.**

**Additional: Some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken from a Corbin Fisher film. (Oh, the amount of research I had to do!) Thank you to all the models and staff at CF for your wonderful work and I hope you don't mind.**

* * *

><p>Edward<p>

Rowing was good for frustration. Before today when I'd rowed on the river at home, I'd always enjoyed the solitary nature of it; water, fresh air and peace. But today, today the rowing machine in the gym was good for burning off that energy that had been pooling in me since, well since I got here. Had it really been less than a week?

He'd kissed me last night. Grabbed me and kissed me and it had been amazing. Then, of course, I'd grabbed him and kissed him and it has all gone downhill from there.

I'd been crap at it and he had left.

Fuck.

I pulled the bar towards me angrily and pushed harder with my legs letting the anger and frustration out. My muscles were already starting to protest at the extra hard workout but I wasn't ready to stop yet. Why had I been all nervous and stammering like an idiot? Why couldn't I have been more like ... well, more like him; confident, strong and just fucking experienced!

It had felt amazing. The kiss, his warmth, his strength. Perfect. But then I had to go and fuck it all up with my insecurity. I was such an idiot. I increased the speed of my strokes even more, feeling the sweat bead between my shoulders and the burn in my hamstrings and abs. I was so going to feel this workout later.

I wanted Jay. I wanted his smile and his laugh. I wanted his confidence and his acceptance and not only that I wanted ... everything else. His mouth, his hands, his body. All of him, all to myself. I wanted how he made me feel last night until he'd walked away from me. I'd had enough of rejection, thank you - more of that I could do without. All of my life so far I'd sat on the sidelines, being overlooked, watching everyone else live and take part and fit in. Being pushed and shoved into a pigeonhole that wasn't right for me. Just the thought of being that man was sickening. No wonder Jay left. I wouldn't want me either. But what the hell could I do about it? It was just how I was.

Eventually, I had to slow my pace. Killing myself on this machine wouldn't help and besides, I had told Pete that I would meet him at breakfast and I was going to be late if I didn't hurry. I just hoped Jay wouldn't be around. One humiliating experience in twenty-four hours was quite enough.

~GF~

An hour and a half later, I'd just had both the worst and the best breakfast I'd ever had. I smiled as I headed into the house to get to work, the backs of my fingers still feeling the warm accidental brush of his skin. Of course, I'd nearly just dumped my food and ran when I'd realised I had to sit with Jay, but we moved on from that. Kind of.

I felt happy that I now know that he was gay, that he wasn't a model anymore and that he liked me, but a deep sense of pain on his behalf that he had been treated badly in the past. Not to mention the fact that it now meant he wasn't willing to try again with me. At least now, I knew _why_he didn't want me. He'd been hurt and didn't want to risk it again. I could understand that. However, if he was worried about getting hurt that meant that he felt something, right?

I sighed as I stepped into the cool interior of the house. Actually feeling something for someone was so damn confusing. And he wanted us to be friends, to hang out together over the couple of days that I had left here. I smiled again, something in me feeling like a helium balloon.

He liked me!

I did a sort of little skip in my already hasty steps, looked around quickly to see if anyone had seen and then did it again any way.

He liked me!

I grabbed the cameras I needed from the equipment room where I had set them charging earlier and hurried down the hall to the room we were using today.

He liked me!

And we were going to go over to his place tonight and have dinner. How great was that?

Of course, he also didn't want me.

Which hurt like hell. I finally felt right, finally felt a connection, finally really wanted to be physical with someone and he didn't want me because I hadn't done it before.

How shit was my life? Really.

_Fuck, Jay, do you think this is easy for me?_

However, we could be friends. It wasn't what I wanted, all I wanted, but he was right. The two days I had left here wasn't enough time to start something anyway. Stupid idea. God, I wished I didn't have to leave. With the spring firmly taken out of my step, I entered the room we were working in today.

Adrian was already at work taking pictures, lights were positioned and reflectors were ready. Both models still had their clothes on so I hadn't missed much. I quietly got to work, deciding to capture as much of the behind the scenes action as possible this time - Adrian with his camera, another guy sorting out the lights and helping Adrian with his equipment. It took a lot of organisation to take beautiful pictures.

Gradually, Adrian had the younger model remove more clothing, though the other guy just took his t-shirt off. He was a tall fair-haired man with a voice that made me shiver and he offered encouragement and advice to the younger obviously new guy he was partnered with. I wondered what kind of scene they were due to do after this. I hadn't looked at the shoot schedule this morning. I'd been too tired after a sleepless night and then too busy sitting across the table from a man who I couldn't help but be drawn to. Who had time to read?

Seeing Adrian's copy of the schedule on the table I had a surreptitious read; Dru and Shane. Looking back at the bare-chested models it was easy to see which one was Dru; he had his CF name tattooed on the back of his calf.

_Click-click, click-click_. "That's it, lift your leg a little higher, Shane, a bit more. Okay, hold that," called Adrian and I watched as Dru ran a hand up the soft inside of Shane's thigh crinkling the fine blonde hairs there. God that looked hot. The insides of my thighs suddenly felt bereft. Shane had been a little nervous at the beginning of the shoot but now didn't need much encouragement to stroke himself to an impressive semi and I swallowed hard as I looked at the two of them together, carefully arranged into a suggestive pose. I had to admit, this job was one of the best ones in the world. And so far, Vegas was a great place to be, so much warmer than the rainy, cold town I'd come from. I was really going to miss it when I left.

I knew for certain, that a couple of days would never be enough time with Jay. He had got under my skin and affected me in ways I hadn't known existed. Despondently, I set the camera up behind Adrian to get a wide-angled shot of the two men on the sofa in soft focus with Adrian in sharp focus in the foreground. I sighed. I already felt like I was in deep with Jay, that there was something between us, that we had a connection of some sort. Dammit. What was I going to do?

Don't leave.

The solution when it hit me was so obvious and simple I actually staggered and tripped over the edge of a floor rug. Good job I had a tight hold of the camera. Twisting as I fell, I landed on my shoulder, protecting the camera and lay there winded while Adrian and Dru laughed at my clumsiness and rushed over to make sure I was okay. Apparently, it had been a classic comic moment and Dru joked that he couldn't wait to tell everyone about it. Grinning and blushing at my clumsiness, I took Dru's hand as he hauled me to my feet again and checked the camera over. Way to keep focused, Edward, I thought.

We got back to work but all the time, the thought of staying didn't leave my head. What was I leaving Vegas for anyway? To crash on a friend's couch surrounded by cardboard boxes of my belongings? To search fruitlessly for a job in a town that didn't need videographers? I could search for a job here. I'd have a much better chance of finding one. And if I didn't leave Vegas, Jay and I would have time.

We carried on with the photo shoot my mind whirling over the possibilities. I'd have to find somewhere to stay - a cheap motel to start with, using the money I'd earned here at CF. I'd find work - there was bound to be something legal, unlike the kind of sleaze I'd arrived here for in the first place. Weddings, events, I'd find something.

That little buoyant balloon feeling was building in my chest again. I'm pretty sure it was hope.

~GF~

"Edward if you've finished could I have a word?" Corbin stuck his head around the door and asked as I helped pack away the equipment we'd used that morning.

"Sure," I replied, my mind automatically searching guiltily through what I might have done wrong to get me called to the boss's office. Corbin was a great guy, but there was no doubt that he was in charge around here. I followed him down the corridor to his office and sat in the chair he indicated.

"How are you liking it here, Edward?" he asked pulling a couple of bottles of water from a fridge and offering me one. "Are you settling into the work okay?"

I twisted the cap off the bottle and nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. It ... er ... was all a bit of a shock to begin with," I said, shrugging a bit and shooting him an embarrassed smile. "But I think I'm doing okay?" I trailed off into a question. God, I hoped he wasn't going to say that I had to leave early.

"I'd like you to stay," he said in his deep calm voice. I blinked back at him in stunned silence and he grinned. "I like your work Edward, and I think you'd fit right into the team here. I want to offer you a month trial period. See how you go, see if you like living in Vegas. It's not for everyone after all. End of the month if you want to leave, that's fine. Otherwise, if there are no problems, I'll hire you as a full-time videographer. What do you think?"

What do I think? Unbelievable, that's what I think.

"Um," Christ, say something more than that, idiot! "That ... that sounds great, Corbin, thank you." That was better, at least I sounded coherent.

He smiled back a genuine full smile. "Great! I'm pleased. Now, you're welcome to stay here in the house, though I know your room is kinda small or, if you prefer, Daryl could help you find an apartment. He knows this town better than anyone."

"Thanks, I'll ... can I think about it?" It was too much to take in in one go.

"Sure, no problem. Whatever you want." He reached into a neat pile of paperwork on the corner of his desk and pulled what I recognised as a weekly shoot schedule from the midst of it.

"We've got a series of videos scheduled with Dru over the next week. It's an idea we had to do something a little bit different. I'd like you to be lead camera for the whole series, so they all have the same kind of look to them. I'd like you to set them up as you want and put your full input into them." He looked firmly into my eyes as I sat stunned across the desk from him. "Think you can do that?"

It was all happening so fast. I was elated. I was scared shitless. I had a job! "Yes, I can do that," I replied more strongly. "But, you know I don't have much experience" - _Not that again – "_at filming these kinds of scenes. Are you sure you want me to do it?"

"I've watched you working over the last few days, Edward and I've seen the work you've produced. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it. You have a quiet air about you that the guys find comfortable. You're hard working, very competent with the camera and you instinctively see what would be good for the audience to see. I'd like you to take the lead on this shoot because I know you will do a great job. Just tell the models what you want them to do."

"But I don't really know what I want them to do! I don't know anything about ..." Gay sex - all back to my inexperience again.

"Leave it to Dru to sort the fucking out. He knows what he's doing. You know what the camera needs to give the audience what it wants. Let your instincts work and the guys will trust you and follow you. You'll do good work, I know it."

I fidgeted nervously with the bottle in my hands, picking at the damp paper label. "Corbin, I'm not sure I know what the audience wants. I'm ..." I swallowed deeply feeling my face heat in embarrassment as I continued, "... gay, but not exactly a typical fan." I looked up at him. "I'd never seen gay porn before I came here."

He smiled, still seeming confident of me despite my confession. "Don't worry, Dru is a master. That's why we chose him for this and you. I'm sure you know what you would like to see, even if you don't realise it. You'll be perfect for this series, Edward. I'm looking forward to it."

I swallowed again, my mouth dry. Well, I wasn't going to turn this down, was I? And Corbin seemed to have confidence in me. I straightened up in my seat a bit. It would be fine, I'd make sure of it, and I'd do a good job too, giving Corbin every reason to keep me on at the end of the month. I'd learn the art of filming sex and make sure I did a fucking good job of these videos. Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes with a bit more conviction and nodded, more confident now, glad to know that he thought my work was good, that I was worth keeping around.

And I was going to be around for a while now. I thought about the building we were currently sitting in and all the guys that stayed and lived here and something occurred to me. "Is it okay that I'm ... gay?" The pause was shorter this time. I was getting used to thinking it, to saying it. "The straight guys won't mind a gay man being around them all the time?"

Corbin leaned back in his chair, folded his arms over his chest and replied, "Edward, you've been here nearly a week. Does it look like anyone fucking minds?" There was a heated edge to his voice and I shook my head quickly, God, no, what was I thinking? Sex was definitely an in-the-open subject around here, literally. In fact, being gay would probably be accepted better here than anywhere else at all! I thought about the staff and former models, which I knew to be gay and about the ones who I now thought might be. He was right it didn't matter - apart from one particular man, whose sexual preference mattered a lot to me.

Corbin fixed me with his stern stare and I quickly brought my mind back to what we were saying. "As your boss, I don't give a fuck about your sexual orientation, Edward. No one at CF does, and any models or staff who are stupid enough to turn up here thinking otherwise are sent back home quicker than they can say 'pass the condom'. The scenes are work and everyone here keeps to the house rules, staff and models alike. Horsing around, having a laugh, swimming nude, it's all fine as long as you keep your sex life away from here. Who you choose to fuck in your own time is no one else's business." I had a feeling he was giving me life advice not just work and I remembered that he knew full well how long I had, or rather hadn't been telling people that I was gay. Just days. I also remembered that Jay and I had done little to curb the sexual tension that had been building between us even if I had been clueless about it. Everyone probably knew that I wanted him.

I cleared my throat, clutching at the now warm bottle of water. "Yes, you're right. Thanks." For accepting, for taking a chance on me, for reminding me of the rules. "I'll remember that."

"Good luck," he said, a private smile tugging at his lips as he stood up and reached for a slim folder on the top of the paperwork pile. Good luck? With the filming? With Jay? I shot him a questioning look as I stood too but he just handed me the folder with a non-committal expression. "Your contract," he said. "Go over it. Daryl can recommend someone to go over it with you if you like, though it's pretty straightforward - pay, benefits, confidentiality, everything like that."

I nodded gratefully taking it from him and turned towards the door. Looking back, I stopped at the doorway. "Thanks, Corbin." I'd never meant the sentiment more.

~GF~

"Been a hot day, are you joining them?" Sharon asked me later, sitting on the barstool next to me at the long kitchen counter and looking out of the open doors at the pool. The setting sun was casting long shadows over the garden though it was still hot.

I looked longingly at the blue water, currently being splashed about by half a dozen tanned muscular guys, who as I now realised, were most definitely something worth watching - but joining in? The thought made me a mixture of nervous and half-hard. Then nervous because I was half-hard.

"I didn't bring any swim shorts," I replied to Sharon, partly relieved, partly disappointed.

She just smiled in response and stood up again. "Oh, we've got plenty, Edward. Come on, I'll show you."

I threw one more admiring glance at the guys, their skin glistening in the sun from the water, and followed Sharon back into the main room. Dru and Shane were in the pool and I smiled as I thought that I'd seen quite a bit of Shane earlier on this afternoon.

My very first CF film as first camera/director had been a lesson in jerking off. And pretty informative too actually. I mean, I thought I wasn't bad at it. I'd certainly had plenty of practice over the last few years, but Dru had taught Shane some things I'd never even thought of.

The two of them had lounged back on the white leather couch, Dru never touching Shane, just talking him through an awesome session. Shane was nervous of the camera, of jerking off in front of other guys, but Dru was patient and calm and I took Corbin's advice and just let him get on with it. I'd sorted out lights, equipment and all the technical aspects before they came in. All I had to do after that was make sure they were both comfortable and that I managed to catch some great shots.

Dru was perfect for the role. "Yeah, that's it," he had said, in his honey velvet voice, lounging back on the couch as Shane worked his cock. "Allow yourself to really enjoy it."

I shot close ups of Shane's sweat glistening skin and of Dru's rapt expression as he coaxed Shane through his first jerk off session. Enjoying the work as I did so, as well as the subject matter, all the while thinking of what I would do for the next film.

"Maybe play with your balls a little bit," Dru suggested quietly. I framed them both in the shot and Shane immediately moved to comply, taking hold of his blonde haired balls and rolling then with one hand while continuing to pull on his cock with the other. He threw his head back against the back of the couch and Dru added huskily, "Make some noise. I want to hear you."

If watching this stuff was hot, then listening to Dru telling a guy what to do was scorching. God, I was going to have to buy some different jeans, the zipper in these was killing me.

"Mmmm, that's hot," murmured Dru, leaning closer and watching Shane's hands intently. "I can tell you're really enjoying this - you've got a sex blush right over your chest."

Shane chuckled and sighed. "Yeah, I am," he said as he worked.

I tried to concentrate on the technical aspects of the work to make sure we got enough raw footage to cut together but, as Shane got closer to the edge, it became even harder to concentrate.

"Rub the tip a little bit," instructed Dru, licking his lips and running his palms up and down his fabric covered thighs. "You've got your whole body to play with, don't waste it." Shane took him to heart, running his free hand over his abs, flicking his finger over his hardened nipple before bringing his hand back to his balls again.

"Oh, I'm ... I'm ..." the warning he was asked to give barely made it past his lips before his whole body convulsed and stiffened, a creamy white jet painting his abs and gleamed under the lighting in a very photogenic display. I smiled in satisfaction. He continued to pull his cock, milking it for all he was worth before lowering himself back into the soft embrace of the couch.

"Oh, that was nice," Dru told him. "I think you'll fit in here well."

Shane laughed softly. "Thanks," he panted, still in the haze of post orgasm melt down.

I made sure to get plenty of footage and then Dru asked me, "Okay, Edward, get what you needed?"

Me? No. The film? Yeah.

"Yeah, that was great guys, well done. Um, hit the showers I guess, Shane." Shane stood up from the couch and began to gather his clothes.

"Me too," murmured Dru as he made his way past me. "That was such a fucking tease."

I smirked at him as he left the room, cursing that I now had to pack the equipment away and see the footage safely delivered over to the production office. I couldn't slip away to the showers, but maybe later.

However, here it was later, and I'd ended up sitting alone, watching everyone else in the pool before being persuaded to follow Sharon to find some swim shorts.

She led the way out of the kitchen and down the corridor to a door I vaguely remembered being a 'store room' on my tour of the house. Sharon opened the door and stepped in and I followed her looking around. Yep, it was a storeroom all right, but I certainly hadn't seen such a collection of stores before. On the shelves right in front of me were condoms. Boxes and boxes of condoms. And not just three packs, these were boxes of fifty or more. Different sizes, different kinds but all the same brand. I'd never seen so many all in one place before, even in a drug store. I looked in stunned silence at them before letting my eyes wander further along the shelf. I didn't even know _what_ those were that I was looking at. There were plastic bottles filled with liquid sat neatly on the shelf and next to them a box with 'things' in. I looked closer. They looked like rubber balls with tubes coming out of the top. What the hell? I looked beyond them to where new 'whatevers' were still packaged in their boxes and read the labels on them: 'Anal Douche'. Anal _what_?

Oh.

Shit.

Exactly.

Not sure whether to laugh or to point and say 'Look, look!' like the innocent I undoubtedly was. I looked at the next shelf, hoping to find something more comfortably recognisable. I think I must have gulped aloud, or gasped or laughed or something, because Sharon laughed and shook her head at my reaction teasingly. In several plastic boxes lined up on the shelves were dozens of dildos. All different colours and, oh my God, different sizes. I was drawn to them. I just couldn't take my eyes away now that I had seen them. Slim ones, long ones, thick ones, pink ones, flesh tone ones and blue ones. Oh my God. My gaze skittered along the shelf as if seeking anything else as extraordinary as these but not actually believing I would find anything. But I did. Two more boxes each with another collection of ... items. I wasn't sure what these were, but they looked similar to the dildos so I could only assume they were for the same kind of purpose. Some of these were longer and some had wide flat bases on them and were slightly differently shaped, mostly wider. Much wider. Oh my God. I glanced over at Sharon who was watching me with an amused smirk on her face. I didn't know what those things were exactly but there was no way I was going to ask Sharon.

She took pity on me and pointed to the other side of the room where there was a row of shelves, which housed a stack of colourful garments. Board shorts and t-shirts it looked like.

"We keep spares around for any of the boys who didn't pack any," Sharon explained gently, taking pity on me. "Help yourself. Just put them in the laundry room when you've finished with them."

"Thanks," I told her, "I wasn't expecting there to be a pool." There hadn't been in my original job.

Glancing further along the shelf, I saw stacks and stacks of men's underwear, all with labels and packaging showing they were new. There were dozens of pairs. "Don't tell me they don't bring underwear either?" I asked jokingly.

"You'd be surprised," she replied darkly. "Besides a lot of the guys are college students. They barely know how to operate a washing machine. Corbin doesn't let them in front of a camera in their own underwear in case it's full of holes or they're all old and baggy or something or worse."

I laughed. Well, if it was bizarre then it was normal around here.

"Sunscreen," Sharon added, pointing to yet another collection of bottles. "Don't forget to put some on or you'll burn."

I had grabbed a pair of green checked board-shorts and a bottle of factor thirty and headed out of the most bizarre room I had ever been in to get changed and hang out at the pool. Which for me meant sitting on the side watching everyone else have fun.

I had to admit though, as I sat on the edge of the pool with my feet dangling in the water, I didn't feel the same sense of comfort that I normally felt when I was sitting quietly by myself. There was an edgy, restless feeling in the pit of my stomach that was never usually there. I gently waved off the initial requests to join in the polo/dodge-ball game the other guys were playing and realised that I had almost hesitated before saying no. I had almost wanted to say yes. Keeping quiet and to myself was how I was, was how I always behaved. It was weird that it didn't feel quite right today.

A few more people came out and hung out around the pool. Some more guys came running from the production office in swim shorts and jumped into the pool too, joining in the game, splashing, laughing, and horsing around with each other. They were all incredible looking men. Slim and lithe or muscular and strong. Young and mouth-watering or older and worldly. All of them things that I wasn't.

I didn't want to join in.

I didn't.

Oh fuck it, yes I did.

I wanted to be there with them, enjoying life, enjoying each other's company. I fixed my gaze on one particular man I wanted to be near. His hair was dark with water and his lightly tanned body glistened with drops that caught the sun. He glanced at me often. I knew because I could hardly keep my eyes off him. But look at him. So incredibly beautiful. He deserved someone so much better than me.

But Pete did say that they thought I was a model at first.

Stupid.

"Hey."

I jumped. Dru had swum up to my side of the pool and was looking up at me.

"Want to come and join in? We really need you on our team."

I shook my head automatically. "No thanks, I think I'd rather watch. Besides, I wouldn't be any use to you."

Dru held on to the side of the pool with one hand and frowned at me. "Are you kidding? I bet you could really spike the ball. You must work out to be as strong as that." He gestured up and down my pale body and I looked down at him in puzzlement. I didn't look anything like as fit as he did.

"Um, no, I just row a bit," I mumbled, and he looked like he was going to keep trying to persuade me but the rest of his team called him back.

"If you change your mind," he added, "my team, okay?" I smiled as he swam away. I'd never played polo or water-dodge-ball or whatever it was they were doing but it did look like fun. I'd never really thought that before. I must have changed quite a bit since I'd been here. In fact, I'd changed a hell of a lot since I'd arrived in Vegas.

So what was stopping me from changing a bit more?

Why didn't I have a go at playing water-dodge-ball? Why didn't I try and have some fun? Being here was more than just a job opportunity. Perhaps there was another me inside that just wanted to get out. It would certainly explain all the confusion and misunderstanding that I had always felt.

I watched Jay as he shook the hair from his face, water droplets flying around his head in an arch, catching the setting sun. He was inspiration for change for sure. If there was anyone I wanted to be a better person for it was him. And now, I was going to be in Vegas for a while. If I wanted him, I could try.

I could find out who this person inside me was and let him out and just maybe it would be someone who Jay would want.

It was time to step up and get involved with life, to have a life. It was time to be me.

A gently breeze ruffled the shrubs and stirred my hair and the huge rubber duck floating in the pool bobbed against my leg; the outside world hadn't changed with my major decision, but maybe I had. I felt a grin spread over my face. I was going to try to win my man.

I slipped my sunglasses off and put them on the side of the pool. It wouldn't be easy and I knew I'd need some help, but the inner me was going to be set free.

How corny was that?

~GF~

An hour later and now I could say that I had played water-dodge-polo-ball or whatever in hell that had been. My arms were sore from hitting the ball and from being whacked by it. My eyes were stinging from the chlorine. I was pretty sure I had sunburn across my back but I had never had so much fun.

When I had slipped into the water and cautiously asked to join the game, I had been welcomed genuinely and Dru had quickly grabbed me to play on his team. I started out slowly, not used to contact sports, camaraderie or acceptance. More times than they should, which was pretty much whenever I didn't absolutely have to watch for the ball, I watched Jay. He had smiled a wide, welcoming smile when I had joined them all in the pool, followed by a raised eyebrow when Dru had grabbed me for his team. Playing across from Jay though gave me plenty of opportunity to watch him. Watch his strong tanned chest as he powered his body out of the water to reach up for the ball, watch his easy smile and dark messy hair as he ran his fingers through it to keep it out of his eyes. Kind of like I was doing. I hadn't seen him do that before.

I had bumped into more strong arms, broad chests, and firm asses than I had ever thought possible by the time it was decided that the game was a draw. I'm not sure anyone was keeping score anyway. The point had been to have fun. A novel experience.

Tonight was barbeque night and everyone started to climb from the pool and seek out towels and shoes, but since a plethora of gorgeous men in almost constant contact with some part of my body and wet revealing swim shorts didn't mix, I hung out in the water for a few more minutes hoping to calm my body down. It really did have a mind of its own these days.

Besides, Jay was still in the water.

I swam over to the edge and leaned back against the tiles watching Jay swim a few lengths of the pool. Though it wasn't doing anything to calm me down. How had I gone twenty-five years without realising how exciting powerful shoulders and rippling muscles under smooth taut skin could be?

Almost everyone else had moved around the corner of the house towards the patio barbecue so I pulled myself out of the water and sat on the edge to watch Jay. I could watch him all day. Actually, I probably had.

He stopped at the far end of the pool and shook the water from his hair and face. I felt my heart thud in my chest and my breath catch. Yep, those things actually did happen in real life, not just in stories. Who would have thought it?

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and worried it remembering as I did so the taste of him on my lips last night.

I was in so much trouble.

He bit his lip in return and took a deep breath, seeming to square his shoulders if such a thing was possible while swimming in the deep end. Then he swam towards me.

New Edward, remember, I told myself and sat up and smiled at him instead of slouching and looking shyly away. New Edward.

He stopped in front of me and stood up, his chest level with the edge of the pool. It was a testament to how much I enjoyed looking at his scruffy jawed face that I didn't stare at his chest and arms as the water streamed down them. Okay, I may have stared a bit.

"Hey."

"Hey." He was looking up at me with the same kind of look that I was looking at him. I knew what it was now, knew it, liked it, wanted it.

"That was a good game of whatever it was." I smiled at him, hoping the nervousness was buried enough. "I'm not sure who won though."

His emerald eyes darkened and flicked away from mine down my body. My cock, which was certainly not discreetly sleeping, twitched at his interest and I tried my hardest ... er, best, not to squirm in embarrassment.

He met my eyes again and his mouth quirked a small smile. He suddenly didn't look as carefree and cheerful anymore, he looked almost tormented.

"I don't know who won either," he replied, shrugging a bit and looking away. I was afraid that he would leave, go and join the others and I hunted quickly for something to say to keep him with me a bit longer.

"Do your shoulders ache as much as mine?" I tried to keep it light, to grin and look comfortable, but the inner me that was currently masquerading as the outer me, wasn't very good at it.

I think he noticed the tension because he relaxed a little at hearing it and grimaced ruefully as he said, "Yeah, I may have overdone it a bit." He lifted his arm from the water and rotated his shoulder, loosening the muscles. He didn't have bulging muscles; they were discrete, showing their size and strength only when he moved them. He had no hair on his chest but a neat patch of dark wiry hair under his arm and water droplets clung to the hairs as he lifted his arm. I'd never thought underarm hair attractive before. But, God, he looked hot. I must have mirrored my thoughts on my face because he brought his arm down slowly, his eyes darkening from the restful green they had been to dark forest green before he looked away and shifted uneasily. I wondered if maybe he didn't know how to behave around me either. It wasn't easy. We both had decided we wanted to be just friends. We both, I was sure, wanted to be a hell of a lot more than that and neither of us was able to move on from that. Well, until now.

Take a chance, I told myself, try.

"Where does it hurt?" I gestured to his shoulder and tried for a non-committal, non-threatening enquiring look.

"It just feels a bit sore across the back," he replied, clearing his throat and swallowing hard. "It's fine."

"Turn around."

"What?"

Yeah, Edward, What? I swallowed hard, forcing down the part of me that wanted to be invisible and reminding myself that I didn't want that anymore. "Turn around and let me loosen it up a bit," I said, my voice steady though probably an octave or so lower than it should be. I was so nervous, taking the lead like this wasn't something that the old me would have ever done.

To my surprise, after a pause he slowly turned around and took a small step back so he was within touching distance. It was then I realised that I hadn't thought this through; if I left my legs where they were, my feet were going to be pressed against his ass and between his thighs and that was not the level of touching that we had kind of agreed on, as much as I wanted it. However, I didn't think that even this new me was ready to start playing footsie with his ...

Hurriedly, pushing that thought way down - and saving it for later - I moved my knees, spreading them wide so that he could now lean against the wall of the pool with my legs on either side of his arms. Putting my fingers carefully on his shoulders, I urged him back to rest against the cool tiles. Surprised, he stiffened and half turned his head to look at me, speak to me but I didn't want him to say anything at this time so I just shushed him calmly as if I knew what I was doing and placed my hands more firmly on his shoulders.

I knew how to give a back rub. Tanya had always liked them, but I hadn't really enjoyed the sensations all that much. I had done them mechanically, because she asked me too. I hadn't longed to touch her like this.

"It's just a back rub, Jay. Relax, you'll feel better afterwards." His smooth skin under my faintly shaking fingers felt cool to the touch but as soon as we'd had skin to skin contact that jolt of electricity, of awareness, of whatever it was shot under my skin and joined the swell of excitement in my chest. Just from a touch. And now I was going to touch him more.

He was tense, even more so now that my legs were resting against his arms and my hands were on his shoulders. "Don't worry, I'm good at this," I told him in what I hoped was a reassuring voice - instead of the needy growl that wanted to come out. He nodded a tiny tight movement of permission and I brushed my fingers gently to the centre of his back before bringing them up to span his shoulders. Using them as leverage, I pressed my thumbs firmly into the edges of his neck muscles and with a slow squeezing movement worked my way up and out to the edges of his shoulders. Gradually, I increased the intensity of my touch as I repeated the movement and soon his head was lolling back and he was relaxing back against the edge of the pool. Jay felt so warm between my legs which I realised I had started to squeeze tighter to him in rhythm with my hands. His shoulders were smooth, and apart from the tattoo that decorated his spine, only a few tiny freckles just to the left of the dark ink marred his skin. My mouth actually watered with my longing to lean down and kiss them. I resisted, but it wasn't easy.

This was what I wanted. This closeness, this physical contact. It felt so good and, though I had very little personal experience, I sure as hell had heard that this kind of feeling, this 'something' that we both seemed to share was a rare thing. And I wanted to keep it.

I was here now, here to stay hopefully. I had a chance. Then I remembered that Jay might still be missing that important piece of information. I was nervous. This was an important conversation. I couldn't mess it up.

"Jay?"

His head lolled back as he murmured, "Mmmm?" God, I was good at neck rubs.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned down over his shoulder so my face was level with his and spoke quietly to him, "I wanted to tell you, Corbin has asked me to stay. He wants me here permanently." Now if only Jay wanted me here permanently.

I felt him stiffen and move to pull away from me, but, grasping onto my fledgling courage, I held onto his shoulders, tightened my legs at his sides and didn't let him move. "If you want me to go I will," I told him. "I don't want to cause you any problems, but, Jay, I also want you to know that I'm sure. I'm not experimenting. I'm not playing gay. I _am_gay and I'm sure." There was no question in my mind at all. Just the thought of touching a woman again made my skin crawl. "I know you have doubts and I don't blame you. I know you're protecting yourself and I don't blame you for that either," I continued, gripping tighter to his shoulders, drawing strength from him. "But this is one thing I really need you to believe. I'm not going to run back to some woman. I'm not going to change my mind. I like men. And ..." I hesitated watching the side of his face intently for his reaction. "And I like you."

He was breathing hard and his jaw tensed. The scruff along the edge of it seemed to be bristling with energy. He turned his face towards mine, mere inches separating us. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were clouded with worry. But he hadn't pulled away yet; this was a battle that still could be won. I hoped.

As the seconds ticked by without a response from him, my insecurity began to grow. What the hell was I doing coming onto the guy like this? He didn't want me, he already _told_me that. And what the hell did I know anyway? Resigning myself to dashed hopes and embarrassing dreams, I straightened up and started to move my hands from his shoulders but before I could go any further he grabbed my hand and pulled it back down to his shoulder holding it there in a firm grip.

"I'm glad you're staying," he said, "and I do still want to be friends. Anything else ..." he trailed off looking torn. The heavy feeling in my chest swelled at his expression and I squeezed his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "Well, anything else I'm not sure about ... yet," he finished, looking up at me and smiling a cautious smile.

Yet. Well, I'd take that.

"Are we still on for dinner?" he asked me, a wider hopeful smile crossing his face.

Hell, yes.

* * *

><p><strong>If you are interested I recomend heading over to Corbin Fiusher dot com, getting a subscription and settling back to enjoy the boys especially Jack Off 101 with Kevin.<strong>

**Next chapter up next weekend, I promise! We'll see more of Pete, get to meet another of our favourite CF boys and, yes, finally we will get to the dinner (and desert).**


	10. Chapter 10

.

**For Matthew, always one of my favourite boys. Miss you already, babe.**

.

* * *

><p><em>"I'm glad you're staying," he said, "and I do still want to be friends. Anything else ..." he trailed off looking torn. The heavy feeling in my chest swelled at his expression and I squeezed his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "Well, anything else I'm not sure about ... yet," he finished, looking up at me and smiling a cautious smile.<em>

_Yet. Well, I'd take that._

_"Are we still on for dinner?" he asked me, a wider hopeful smile crossing his face._

_Hell, yes._

Chapter 10

.

So you'd think it would have been easy. Just get out of the pool, go and get dressed and then meet up again to go and get dinner. No, I, of course, had to make a drama out of it.

A shower to get rid of the chlorine water? Check.

Deodorant stuff, one that I had picked out because I liked it not one Tanya had chosen for me? Check.

Jeans, my only clean pair? Check.

Shirt? Problem.

I stood in front of the closet staring at the meagre amount of things hanging in there and felt a moment of panic. What should I wear? I'd only brought a limited amount of stuff with me and it was all of the smart comfortable working variety. Not the I-want-to-try-and-impress-a-guy-and-make-him-want-me variety. Not that I actually owned anything like that anyway.

Shit.

What was I thinking? This was not a date, it didn't matter what I wore. I grabbed the first shirt and pulled it off the hanger. Grey and black check. That would do, right? But I didn't really like this shirt much. I pulled the only other clean shirt I had out of the closet too. Black and grey check. Fuck. Since when had I got so boring? Since when did I care? Stupid question.

I just couldn't choose between the two. I pulled one on then the other. Neither of them magically transformed me from ordinary Edward to amazing Edward, which I was kind of hoping to be able to do tonight. Where was the innate sense of fashion that gay men were supposed to have? It was obviously a hyped-up stereotype because I sure as hell didn't have it.

I heard voices out in the corridor and thought that one of them might be Pete. I could ask him which shirt to wear. He'd know, right? Because he'd been gay for a lot longer than I had.

Not thinking past my lack of fashion expertise, I clutched both shirts in my hand, flung the door open and hurried down the corridor to Pete's room. I was right; he was there. So I quickly knocked on the open door and then thrust the fistful of shirts towards him.

"I need some help. I don't know which one to wear!" I have to admit that he recovered from the shock quite quickly. I hadn't thought about it before I left my room but I was only wearing jeans and, although maximum clothing was pretty optional around here, I didn't make it a practice to wander around the place bare-chested myself, but this was an emergency!

"It's just a barbeque, Edward, wear what you like," he replied soothingly. Since when had I needed soothing? Oh yeah, since I started to panic over clothing. What the hell was happening to me?

"I'm um ... not going to the barbeque," I replied, realising in consternation that I was going to have to explain my actions in words to another person. "Um ... Jay asked me back to his place. For dinner," I hastily added as Pete's eyebrow rose. Damn, I could feel the flush of embarrassment as it rushed to my face. Pete bit back a grin as I watched him watch my flush spread down my chest too. Damn, why didn't I put a t-shirt on?

"Okay, well, I'm sure that either of those shirts will be fine," Pete said, gesturing to the crumpled grey and black in my fist and obviously enjoying my fashion freak out. "Just for hanging out together, kicking back and relaxing ... unless ..."

"Actually, I was hoping that, um ... well." The fucker - he was teasing me. He was going to make me say it.

"I was-hoping-to-make-a-good-impression, you know," I mumbled, trying not to cringe at Pete's wicked smirk. "I thought ..." I trailed off. Really, what had I been thinking? "Um ... never mind," I added, turning to make my escape before I humiliated myself any more.

"Wait!" Pete leapt across the room and grabbed the shirts I was holding, stopping me from leaving. "Don't go," he added, laughing. "I know just who you need to ask. Wait here." He darted out of the room and I heard him head down the stairs. Oh God, what had I got myself into?

A few minutes later, I heard him return this time bringing a dark haired man with him. Nearly my age, I guessed. He'd been on Jay's team during the water-dodge-ball thing. His name was Troy, I think or ...

"Edward, have you met Trey yet?" asked Pete. "He's our fashion expert - ask him anything."

Trey grinned at me. "You're not coming to the barbeque then? Got better plans?" he wiggled his eyebrows and grinned even harder at my returning blush.

"I just ... um ..." Oh, fuck it. "I'm going out tonight with this guy and I want to try and look good," I blurted, "and I don't know which of these two shirts I should wear."

Trey looked at the crumpled fabric in my fist with dawning horror.

"It's not a date," I reiterated, hoping that they would believe me, "but, I wouldn't mind if it was ... if you see what I mean."

Trey glanced at Pete, who nodded at him, then looked back at me. "Edward, drop those shirts on the floor and come with me." I looked at Pete too, and seeing him nod encouragingly at me, did as Trey asked. I could always come and pick them up later.

I followed Trey down the stairs to one of the rooms the models slept in and watched as he opened a closet and began rummaging through the clothes hanging there. They couldn't all be his could they? How long was he staying here? With a grunt of satisfaction, he pulled a shirt out and looked it critically up and down, then he shook his head and thrust it back in again. I had no idea what he was looking for exactly. A shirt was a shirt, wasn't it? But then he pulled another shirt from the closet and turned to me grinning. "This is the one," he said. "Put it on. Let's see how it fits." The shirt was long-sleeved in a sort of teal-blue colour and looked a bit small for me.

"Are you sure it will fit?" I asked, dubiously.

"Yeah, we're about the same size - it'll be fine," he told me. "Roll the sleeves up to there," he pointed to a place on my arm, "and leave the top and bottom buttons undone."

I frowned dubiously at him again. "Okay, if you say so."

He just grinned and pointed to a mirror on the wall once I had it on. "Take a look."

I looked. The shirt was a much slimmer fit than any I usually wore, but it was still really comfortable. I rolled the sleeves as instructed and looked critically at myself. I looked so different! Without the loose baggy shirts I normally wore, I looked taller and slimmer and the unbuttoned look was, well, somewhat sexy in a casual way. I met Trey's eyes in the mirror. "Wow!" was all I could think to say.

He grinned even more. "Just call me your fairy godmother. Now the hair."

"Hair?"

"Yeah, what do you usually do with it?"

"Um ... I just leave it. It does what it wants anyway."

He grimaced at my hair regime, turned and rummaged through a drawer by his bed. "Here," he threw a jar of hair product at me. "Just use a little of this and run it through your hair."

At my perplexed look, he laughed and came over and took the pot back from me. "Like this." He demonstrated on his own hair and I cautiously tried the same. To be honest, I couldn't see much difference but Trey seemed to think it was an improvement. "That looks great, now it looks deliberately messy instead of just messy."

... Okay.

Pete came back into the room just then and whistled when he saw me. Predictably, I blushed and he laughed. "I feel sorry for Jay! He doesn't stand a chance!"

"Jay?" asked Trey, "is that who ...?" Pete nodded and they both grinned.

"He's down stairs," added Pete. "You'd better go, don't want to keep your date waiting."

I blushed harder still, which just made them laugh even more.

"It's not a date," I said through gritted teeth. "It's just a meal, hanging out, friends."

They laughed harder still.

"Thanks," I muttered mutinously as I turned to stomp out of the room, but I hesitated at the door. I really did owe them one. "Really, thanks guys." And I left to grab my shoes and jacket and go to meet my non-date. I hoped he liked what he saw.

~GF~

Jay's jaw had dropped as I hurried down the stairs to meet him a few minutes later and I was sure I heard muffled laughing coming from the top floor of the house where two fairy godmothers were obviously watching. Jack asses.

"Edward, you look ... great," Jay said weakly, his eyes scanning repeatedly up and down my body. I swallowed hard at the heated look in them. It seemed Trey really did know what he was doing. I had an almost irresistible urge to say nonchalantly, 'Oh, this old thing?' but managed to bite it back in time. How corny, Edward.

He almost looked as if he wanted to take my hand as we left the house, but settled for a very unJay-like, awkward gesture instead. I really hoped that I hadn't pushed things too far. I wanted more with him, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

We decided to walk to his apartment. It would take about half an hour he said and we didn't want to sit in traffic in the back of a stuffy cab. I for one needed some space and air to get used to this non-date. I got the impression that he might feel the same. Somehow during the walk, we managed to loosen up, relax and talk, though we steered clear of anything too personal. Because then the conversation would get difficult again and neither of us wanted that. Yet.

When we got to his apartment, I was pleased to see that it was as interesting as he was. It was one of about twenty, which had been carved out of an old industrial unit. It was modern and homey, small enough to feel cosy, large enough that he didn't have to keep tripping over his stuff. I liked it.

He offered me a beer and then while I watched, threw together some kind of pasta dish that tasted delicious and seemed to appear from nowhere. I'd no idea how he did it, cooking was a mystery to me. We didn't stop talking the whole time he cooked and just carried on while we ate. Conversation just seemed to come easily and, although we still avoided the personal stuff, we began to edge a bit nearer to it.

"Edward, would you call me Jasper?" he asked soon after we arrived. "Away from work I mean, it would be nice to be able to leave all that behind and just be me, you know?" I grinned at him in response and wanted to kiss him again so badly. His eyes darkened for a moment and his gaze turned heated before he pulled himself back and picked up a non-personal topic to talk about.

Once we'd finished eating, we took our beers over to the couch still talking and laughing over a movie that it turned out we had both gone to see last week. As we sat on the small couch, his knee brushed against mine. The atmosphere changed immediately as I felt that brush of denim with every nerve in my body. And he did too. Every ounce of sexual tension that had ever been generated between us flared to life again and I sucked in a breath sharply and held myself carefully. I couldn't make a wrong move. I had to convince him to give us a try.

Logic was absent however. I ran my tongue over my suddenly dry lips and felt my heart pound when he mirrored the movement.

"Jasper ..." I breathed having no idea what else I was going to say. I could see him putting up barriers again and I lurched into speech again, trying to stop him. "Give us a chance, " I almost begged. "I'm here, I'm staying and I'm sure about who I am, about who I want."

"Edward, I wouldn't want to ..." he began.

"I'm sure, Jasper."

"... start something and then find that ..."

"I'm sure."

"... you regret it."

"Jasper, I'm sure."

"Or that you change your mind."

I leapt up from the couch and started pacing up and down in front of him; I'd never felt so frustrated. Perhaps I should just tell him that. "Damn it Jasper, I'm sure. Look," I rummaged through my mind trying to think of something that would persuade him. "I've never had sex that didn't leave me wondering what the fuss was about. Never felt a real connection to a person or a desire for a hug or a kiss or a ... a long hard fuck. I do now. I'm sure."

I could see him mentally searching through his list of other objections before picking one and throwing it at me. "Tell me how you came to be here, Edward. You came out here to film porn, didn't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I was here for, well, for another job but it didn't work out," I squirmed, a bit uncomfortable with my thoughts of the porn industry at that time.

"What job was it?" It was an innocent question but I knew that the idiot who had messed with him before had been deliberately looking to hook up with a porn star and that this was an important point.

"Look, Jasper, I'm not proud of it, okay, but I needed the money. My girlfriend ..." I skidded to a halt at his quickly hidden stricken face.

"Go on," he said his face tight.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, wanting to grip and pull and shout. I had to make him understand. "Jasper, about Tanya, it wasn't ..."

He held up a hand, stopping me. "One thing at a time, Edward. Tell me how you came to be in Vegas." I sighed as he stood up and moved to the kitchen to get another couple of beers, putting physical distance between us.

"I needed the money," I continued. "College had been expensive and I'd only had a few jobs since then. Working freelance is, well, tough in this economy. Then ... Tanya and I had an argument, another one, and she threw me out. Took some of my stuff, my savings, everything." He looked outraged on my behalf and I took comfort from that. "So, I was pretty desperate and I heard about a job here in Vegas filming porn." His face hardened again.

"I didn't choose it. I'd rather have done anything else, quite frankly but I needed the money. And it wasn't here," I added, "not with Corbin. Just, I don't know exactly, some guy who makes porn. I was desperate so I bought a ticket and flew out here. But it was awful Jasper, it was so sleazy and I'm not even sure how old the girls were. I left. And that's when Corbin found me. Contemplating my miserable life at the airport." I tried a small smile at him but didn't tell him I'd had no way to get home. That was just too humiliating.

"I wasn't looking to hook up with someone famous or someone rich or someone to teach me stuff. It just ... happened. I ended up here by accident. Corbin didn't tell me what the work was, and after that other guy, I wouldn't have come if he had. But suddenly, here I was, five minutes in the house and being asked to film two guys having sex. Talk about in at the deep end." I tried to laugh, to show that it had been all in a day's work, but the shock was still pretty fresh in my mind.

"It's been a learning experience ever since," I finished unthinkingly.

Jasper's face hardened again and he chugged down half his beer in one go. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and licked my suddenly dry lips. It wasn't the beer they were wanting. Suddenly he leapt up from his seat and strode, straight backed, angrily over to the window where he stood gazing at his reflection in the black glass. There was nothing else to see.

"Well, I'm glad you are getting an education while you are here," he ground out, gripping the bottle tightly, condensation running down his fingers.

Water. Fingers. Shower.

I felt myself start to harden from what I now knew was my usual 'I'm near him so I'm interested' not quite soft to definitely on the way to a noticeable semi. I sighed. Why did I keep noticing these things? My body was in overdrive. So many years to catch up on.

I hesitated not knowing what to do. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to snatch that bottle out of his hand and kiss him senseless. But I also knew that I wouldn't do that. Couldn't do that. You grabbed him and kissed him last night, I reminded myself. Yes, and look how that turned out. I sat on the edge of the sofa, miserably watching him fiercely scowling at himself.

What a couple of asses.

He'd made it perfectly clear today that he was only interested in friendship. That he didn't want anything more from me. The continued little rejections hurt like hell and I was disgusted with myself to feel the prickle of tears in my eyes. Blinking them away furiously, I gripped the bottle I was holding tightly and wondered how soon I could leave.

"Look Edward, I think you should go."

What? Had I been thinking that aloud?

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, still not taking his eyes from his reflection, not looking at me. Another little stab of rejection. Since when did I get so sensitive? I was used to being ignored or rejected, wasn't I?

"I ... I want you to go. I'll call you a cab."

There were a great many of these things I realised were feelings swirling around in my chest after these words. The pain of rejection. Check - understood that one. Something deeper, a much bigger hurt that I didn't understand but now recognised was there. And something else. Something building. Something red and hot and loud.

"No!"

My voice was loud in the painful silence following Jasper's words. I stood up, putting the beer down on the table and drawing myself up to my full height. Planting my feet firmly, I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not leaving till you hear me out." Where the hell had this voice come from? The slight quaver at the end of the last word showed my slipping resolve. I did not do confrontations. Ever.

He turned slowly to look at me. Surprised at my strong attitude? Well, hell, so was I.

Slowly, he looked me up and down as if seeing me for the first time. I swallowed hard against the sensations of his gaze as it swept over me, probed me piercingly, and tried to keep my chin raised, my knees not to buckle.

"Go on then," he said quietly. "I'm listening."

Shit. I had no idea what to say. I'd sort of thought that what I was going to say was that Corbin had asked me to stay for a month, maybe longer and he had better just get used to it dammit, but that isn't what came out. What I did say surprised me, shocked me, and sure as hell wasn't what he'd expected.

In a quiet low voice, I told him, "Sometimes, I didn't come, and I'd have to sneak into the bathroom after or lie on my side and hide so she wouldn't know. I've been miserable, Jasper."

His stern features relaxed in shock at my confession and some of the tension dropped from his stance. Blinking rapidly, he said in a shaky voice, "And? Go on."

Go on? What the hell else was I supposed to say after baring my soul like that? But it seemed a part of my brain was on a roll all of its own. "Just because I didn't realise I was gay before I came here, doesn't mean that I'm not. I am. I know it now. It's not a side of me or a pastime. It is me."

Whoa. I found myself breathing fast and shallow with stress and nerves. Damn it, I hadn't said anything untrue or anything to be ashamed of. I straightened my shoulders again, lifted my chin. I'd said it. Out loud. "I admit I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had s ... sex with a guy but don't be mad at me for what some asshole did to you. I'm not him. I'm here, I'm staying and I'm not playing around. For the first time in my life, I know what I want and what I want is you."

I stared fiercely at him, my chest heaving from the force of my words. Somehow during my diatribe I had moved across the room towards him and was now standing inches from him. To my disappointment, he stepped back and sank into an upholstered chair looking up at me assessing, nervous, and needy.

"How do you know it's me and not just any guy?"

Fuck, he was so frustrating! "Jesus, Jasper. It's you all right?" I almost shouted at him. "I've seen other naked guys all week and, yes they turn me on, but no one," I lowered my voice and came closer again, "no_ one _makes me feel what you do."

He looked like he still didn't believe me. I was so mad at him, so frustrated. What the hell could I do to get through to him? Growling huffily, I took the two steps needed to bring me within touching distance. Adrenaline was still surging through me, anger at him, frustration at my life so far ... frustration from being turned on so much. I needed to do something to get his attention, something like he had done last night, dragging me behind the plants and kissing me. Something to prove I wanted him.

Now or never. I pushed the old Edward aside and allowed myself to act on instincts.

Doing the previously unthinkable, I locked my eyes to his, leaned down and gently took the bottle of beer from his unresisting hand. With just a little more hesitation, I leaned down and placed it on the floor by the side of his chair, I put my hand on the arm of the chair, looming over him. His eyes widened, pupils dilated and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. Oh God, those lips looked so good.

Quickly before I could change my mind or lose the adrenaline-induced courage, I brought my knee up and slid it into the space between the padded arm of the chair and his thigh. Bringing my other hand down to the chair to support my weight, I did the same with my other leg.

And there I was. Sitting on the lap of a man. Of Jasper. Of my man.

I really hadn't thought this through. I kind of didn't know what to do next. I know what I _wanted_to do ...

Then do it.

Biting my lip in indecision and hoping that Jasper hadn't noticed, I scooted my weight forward a bit so we were close, our chests now almost touching when we each took a deep breath together, which we were doing a lot. I hadn't looked away from his deep green eyes for a moment and I saw uncertainty and fear flickering in the depths of them behind the desire. I leant down, placing my lips close to his ear, breathing in the scent that was becoming familiar to me now and made my body think of sex. I whispered in his ear, "Give me a chance, Jay, please. That's all I ask." I stayed there, breathing him in, enjoying the heat of his body, the brush of his shoulder as his chest rose and fell, the rasp of his cheek as it moved against mine as somehow my cheek had moved to lightly press against his.

I was a stranger right now. Taking the initiative, asking for what I wanted. It wasn't me. Wasn't the old me. But it would be the new me from now on. No matter what Jasper replied, I wouldn't just sit in the background any more, wouldn't just accept being ignored and overlooked, even though that had been what I'd wanted in the past. From now on, this was me.

With a start, I felt his warm hands settle lightly against my hips, his thumbs pressing against the bone, his fingers moving to gently cup the round outline of my ass. Sighing in relief and pleasure, I allowed my weight to drop more fully onto his legs, not having realised how stiffly I had been holding myself there.

"Okay," he said quietly. "We'll ... try. But Edward, I can't... I can't ... Please don't ask me to teach you things. We'll just ... be together, okay? And see how things go." The something in my chest ached at this confirmation of how badly he'd been hurt before and I would do anything to make sure I never hurt him too.

"Sure," I replied, my voice no more than a rough whisper. "We'll just see how things go." He tightened his hold on my hips, and I watched some of the tension drain out of him. I could feel the heat of his thighs below mine, our skin separated by two layers of denim, could feel the warmth of his breath and the stroking of his fingers. I didn't know a lot but I did know that sitting like this was going to lead to other things. And I was okay with that. Very okay.

I realised that I was going to have to be very careful to not ask him how to do things; it would stir up old memories for him. I was going to have to learn how to pleasure him somewhere else. Now, where on earth could I go to learn how to please another guy?

A grin spread across my face and I was thankful that Jasper and I were still sitting so closely and he couldn't see it. All the films that I was due to shoot with Dru next week would be like my own personal educational programme. From behind the camera, I could learn everything I needed to know without having to ask Jasper any of it. He might not like the idea, but I didn't know what to do yet and needed to learn somehow.

Pleased with my plan, I wriggled a little on his lap, my knees sinking deeper into the chair cushions on either side of him. It was a move that pushed my straining zipper up against the equally straining front of Jasper's jeans. We both froze, drawing harsh breaths. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. I couldn't bear to see it if he rejected me now.

His hands gripped my hips again ... and pulled me closer.

Relief flooded through me. Thank God! He hadn't pushed me away. But relief was swiftly followed by urgent need for different relief. Heat, need and want all flooded into me. I followed my feelings and slipped my hands from the arms of the chair where I had been gripping them so tightly. I worried about the condition of the fabric and slid them slowly up his arms to rest on his shoulders.

I opened my eyes and pulled my head back to find him looking at me with burning heat in his eyes, his mouth parted, his pink tongue visible as it flicked along his teeth. I shivered at the sight and he smiled a lopsided wicked smile.

I was a gonner.

He wanted me. Wanted this. Was willing to try. Us. Here. Now.

Just like Elvis, coherent thought had obviously left the building.

I had to taste him. I had to have his lips on mine, now. Slowly, I lowered my head to close the last space between us, and our lips met. Warm and firm, just like I remembered them. He traced his tongue along my bottom lip and I shivered again, clenching my legs instinctively against his, holding him tighter between them. I opened my lips just enough for his tongue to delve in and stroke along my own in a dance that made me groan. I choked it back in surprise. I'd never been a noisy lover, but Jasper just brought out the emotions and the need in me in a way that I had never needed to articulate before.

His fingers tightened on me some more, encouraging my hips to shift forward, and our equally hard cocks to press harder against each other through the layers of fabric and buttons and zippers.

Moving a hand to the back of his neck, I deepened the kiss. He'd said I had been doing it right last night, so I was sure I could do this right tonight. Besides, I wanted more.

He moaned into the kiss and I felt a thrill of excitement that I had done that. I had made him moan like that. I moved my fingers into his hair, so soft and silky and began to card them through the strands, gripping lightly then ever increasingly harder as I couldn't stop the sensations that the feel of his hair between my fingers brought.

Jasper bucked his hips upwards and his pleasure induced moan turned into a hiss of need as our rapidly growing cocks tightened even more in our jeans, rubbing together in a way that was heaven and hell. I bucked my hips towards him in instinctive response and he gripped me harder, urging my hips to begin a rocking motion, forward and up, down and back.

The sensation felt amazing and although I was vaguely aware that dry humping was generally considered a teenage pastime, I in no way wanted it to stop. He moved his hands down from my hips, cradling my ass with his strong hands and helping me to set a steady rhythm. It wasn't enough. Wasn't fast enough or hard enough, it was a slow burn that was killing me. I growled in frustration into his mouth and clenched my fingers tighter in his hair. He chuckled into the kiss and nipped my bottom lip with his teeth before lapping it better with his tongue. I needed to remember that one.

Straining forward more, I needed more. Gasping for breath, I reluctantly broke free of the kiss and rested my forehead down against his shoulder. I needed more. Enjoying the feel of his skin-warmed soft cotton shirt, I dragged my fingers down from his shoulders, feeling the shape and shift of his chest muscles, the hard pebbly nipples which I longed to explore but wasn't quite sure I should do. Remembering the reason I moved my hands in the first place, I pushed them behind him, between the back of the chair and his shoulders and pulled his body tightly against mine. Our chests were rubbing now too, hard muscle grinding against hard muscle. Every few strokes our nipples would drag against each other, feeling hard and pebbly beneath our shirts.

From the sounds he was making, I was sure that he was feeling good, that what I was doing, what we were doing was good for him. It sure as hell was good for me. I moaned and panted into his shoulder and probably panted his name too, though I wasn't sure if I was just saying that in my head or not.

His hands tightened on my ass and I bucked against him more desperately. It felt so good and already I was feeling close, the constriction of my jeans bordering on painful as my balls were crushed and my cock had nowhere to go. It had never felt so good.

"Ah ... ah ..." an incoherent gasp was all I could manage and I clenched my hand on his shoulder to try to warn him that I was close, so close. He pushed his face against mine, forcing our lips back together and I dived into the kiss even though our lips were mashing and our teeth knocking together with the increasingly harder thrusts I was making against him.

I was sweaty, hot and so turned on it was painful. If I didn't get my release soon, I felt that I would burst. God, the feeling was incredible!

I rocked my hips into his, chasing the orgasm that was on its way, so close, so close. I could feel my stomach clenching, my balls tightening. I moved my hand back to his hair, gripping tightly to give him warning. He squeezed my ass tight and pulled me harder still against him. Heat pooled in my lower belly, my muscles tensed, my balls felt like they were screaming. There was a pause, a hiatus of pleasure and pain, and then my cock pulsed and throbbed and warm come surged and pulsed into my underwear.

"Oh, God, oh ... oh ... ah ... Jasp-" I don't know where the sounds were coming from. They were dragged out of me by the force of my orgasm as I continued to rub and grind against him, drawing out the pleasure-pain to a point of incoherency.

He moaned in response as he felt my body tensing and throbbing against his and I rode my orgasm like never before. Seconds or minutes later, I came down from my orgasmic high enough to realise that Jasper was still gasping and grinding against me. I loosened my hold on his hair and tried to concentrate on regaining a rhythm. I wanted to give him that release almost as much as I had needed it myself. I sucked hard on his tongue as it dove into my mouth and moaned as one of Jasper's hands slipped inside the back of my jeans and grabbed a handful of bare ass. Oh God, if I could have come again I would.

I felt his body begin to tremble under mine, his thighs shaking, his arms trembling; it was more pain than pleasure now, the feeling of him, hard against my sensitive cock but I didn't stop, he was almost there. I wanted to give him this.

I moaned some more and shivered as he began to hump himself desperately up against me, clenching his abs to roll his cock more. Then with one last hard squeeze of my ass, his entire body jolted as he came with a deep moan, pulsing beneath me and filling his jeans as I had done.

I slowed the kissing down, not having the strength to manage anything more than languid laps at his tongue or soft sucks at his lips. He returned in kind absently, still coming down from his high and I could tell that my lips were bruising from the desperate way we'd kissed earlier. When his trembling eased after a minute or so, he gently broke the kiss and shifted me back on his thighs as we both caught our breaths. He smiled contentedly up at me and raised his hand to my face, stroking strands of hair away from my sweat-plastered forehead.

"Wow," he breathed, dropping his hand back down to my thigh and rubbing circles on it absently with his thumb.

"Yeah," I replied, still shell-shocked. I wasn't sure where to go from here. It could only get awkward I was sure. I smiled a smile that probably looked as uncertain as I felt and moved my hands back to the arms of the chair again. "I should probably get up ..."

"Yeah, I think my legs have gone numb." He seemed a bit uncertain himself. I hoisted myself up but when I tried to straighten my legs and stand, I stumbled; my legs didn't seem to belong to me either. I laughed embarrassed and hobbled a few steps away giving him room to stand up too. The next thing I knew, he was hobbling too and we both looked at each other and laughed.

"Old man," I teased. He flashed a delighted grin at me. Dimples and everything.

"Old man, is it? I'd like to see you try that next time!" The heavy silence that followed was so expectant.

"I'd like that," I replied huskily, "very much." And I gave him one of my newly discovered get-my-own-way grins, wanting to see if it worked on him like his worked on me.

He stopped flexing his legs, getting the blood to flow back again and straightened up, watching me. I met him eye to eye, not backing down. "I look forward to it," he replied, reaching towards me and hooking a finger into the top button of my shirt, pulling me towards him. "I'm sorry about your jeans," he whispered, cocking a teasing eyebrow.

My jeans? I frowned, puzzled, and then became aware of the cooling stickiness currently soaking through the layers of fabric. I screwed my face up in disgust. I hadn't come in my pants since, since ... well, ever actually.

Laughing gently, he released me and stepped back again. "I'll lend you some jeans to go back in. Don't want you shocking the neighbours."

"Yeah, thanks, I think that'd be a good idea." Before I could stop it, a huge yawn overtook me and I threw my hand over my mouth and watched horrified as Jasper laughed again.

"Wore you out did we?" he asked, his accent a little stronger as he spoke.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night," I confessed, forgetting that my lack of sleep had been entirely due to the kissing behind ferns that Jasper had instigated. "I guess I'd better call a cab and go. Thanks for dinner, Jasper."

His glowing eyes and husky-voiced reply made the something in my chest swell and take flight. "Anytime, Edward, anytime."

I'd make sure I held him to that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you to everyone who reads Gone Fishing. It means the world to me to see that you guys are out there reading this!**

**Huge thanks to my pre-reader and my beta who both help make this better (and legible!)**

**And a big *wave* to everyone at Corbin Fisher. Keep up the great work, guys!**


	11. Chapter 11

**.**

**Author's note: It's the weekend - even if our boys have forgotten. Let's see how they spend it. It's a short chapter but I couldn't resist having a bit of fun with the guys.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

**JPOV**

**.**

Mmmmm.

I felt warm, lazy, sated.

I must have had one hell of a dream.

I ran my hand languidly down my chest. I assumed my sheets were in their usual tangle on the floor as my body was exposed to the air, just how I liked to sleep. I'd open my eyes in a minute and get ready for work. The alarm hadn't gone off yet so there was no rush. I ran my hand a little lower, skimming my smooth abs and found cold, damp, sticky come under my fingertips. I frowned, still not opening my eyes to the bright morning light. What the fuck? I hadn't come in my sleep since I was a very young teenager. I grinned; it must have been one hell of a dream. Wish I could remember it. My hand drifted lower and found my cock hard and ready to face the day.

Mmmmm, I loved waking up.

I pulled slowly and lazily a few times, enjoying the sensation of my fingers wrapped loosely around myself, the feeling of laziness, the few minutes of peace before the alarm went off.

Wait a minute. It couldn't be that early could it? Why the hell had the alarm not gone off? I turned my head and forced my eyes to open, wincing as the sudden brightness assaulted them and tried to focus on the clock sitting on my nightstand.

The red numbers swam fuzzily into focus. Shit, I was late.

~GF~

.

**EPOV**

**.**

Mmmmm.

I felt warm, lazy, sated.

I must have had one hell of a dream.

I ran my hand languidly down my chest, pushing the thick warm comforter up from where it was enclosing my body snugly, just how I liked to sleep.

I'd open my eyes in a minute and get ready for work. The alarm hadn't gone off yet, so there was no rush. I ran my hand lower, over my abs and down to the light trail of hair below my navel. To my surprise, I found cold damp, sticky skin and fabric surrounding my fingers. I frowned, still not opening my eyes to the bright morning light. What the hell? I hadn't had a wet dream since I was a kid. It must have been one hell of a dream to make me mess up the bed sheets like this. More laundry to do. Wish I could remember the dream though. My fingers searched and found my cock.

Mmmmm, I loved waking up these days. It was so much nicer to wake up hard and ready to face the day than how things had been before.

I pulled slowly, lazily a few times enjoying the sensation of my fingers wrapped firmly around myself, the feeling of laziness, the few minutes of peace before the alarm went off.

Wait a minute. It couldn't be that early could it? Why the hell had my phone's alarm not gone off? I forced myself to let go of my cock and reach out from under the covers to try to find my phone on the nightstand. Fumbling it the right way up in front of my face, I pressed a button to wake it up, focused my bleary eyes and looked at the time.

Shit, I was late.

~GF~

.

**JPOV**

.

I jumped out of bed, rushed through the quickest shower in history, threw some clothes on and started to brush my teeth before I realised it was a Saturday. I didn't work on Saturdays.

What an idiot.

I hadn't forgotten to set my alarm last night, it had worked perfectly. Though I had been pretty distracted when I had gone to bed.

I slowed my movements as I thought about last night and Edward. Talking, laughing, kissing, coming. Yeah, last night had been pretty distracting all right. I sighed staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was awake now; I might as well think things through and try to straighten my head a bit. Because where Edward was concerned, I was a mess.

~GF~

.

**EPOV**

.

I jumped out of bed, ran down the hallway to the bathroom, had the quickest shower in history, threw on some clothes and started to brush my teeth. It was a Saturday. I had a full filming schedule today and I was running late.

What an idiot.

I'd forgotten to set my alarm last night, not surprising since I had been pretty distracted when I'd gone to bed.

I slowed down as I thought about last night and Jasper. Talking, laughing, kissing, coming. Yeah, last night had been pretty distracting all right. I'd already made my mind up about him. I knew what I was going to do and that I wouldn't give up on him. I could only hope that he came up with the same conclusions. Because where Jasper was concerned, I was determined he was mine. I just had to make sure he knew that.

~GF~

.

**JPOV**

.

It was mid morning and part way into the Scooby-Doo marathon on Nicktoons before I realised we hadn't met up for breakfast. Well, of course, we hadn't. I wasn't there today, so obviously I wasn't going to be there for breakfast. But neither of us had thought of that last night. We'd both said 'see you tomorrow' when he left and we'd just assumed that that's what we'd do.

Fuck.

He'd think I'd stood him up.

After the way I'd behaved last night, trying to throw him out and treating him like shit, I needed to let him know that I'd done some good hard thinking this morning while sitting in front of the TV and that I wanted to try and make things work between us. And here I'd fucked everything up already.

I wanted to date him. I wanted to do things right. I wanted to know everything about him. And I wanted him. God, he had a beautiful ass.

That's what waking up early and having hours of thinking time can do. It can make you sort out your priorities and stop bullshitting yourself. There was no way I was going to be able to live with myself if I didn't really try with this man. He was already important to me and quite apart from the instant sexual attraction that I'd felt, there was so much more. I owed it to myself to try no matter how shit scared I was of getting hurt again. So I'd decided that that's what I would do. Try.

But I'd fucked it up already by standing him up and not even thinking to let him know or apologise. I frowned as Fred unmasked Old-Man-Cuthbertson amid gasps from Velma, Daphne and Shaggy. Why the hell was I watching this? When you dated someone, you didn't stand them up and not apologise, did you? What the fuck did I know about dating someone? Apart from the-asshole-who-shall-not-be-named, I'd never dated anyone. And I was pretty sure weekend fucks at the motel didn't count anyway. So what the hell should I do now?

I was so fucked.

~GF~

.

**EPOV**

.

It was the middle of the morning and the middle of a scene before I realised we hadn't met for breakfast. Well, of course we hadn't. I'd been late so I'd skipped breakfast and came straight to the set to begin work. But last night we'd both said 'see you tomorrow' and I'd assumed that we'd see each other here for breakfast.

Hell.

He'd think I'd stood him up.

After the way I'd behaved last night, throwing myself on him and acting like a desperate horny teenager, I needed him to know that I wasn't just after sex with him and that I wanted to try to make things really work between us. And here I'd messed everything up already.

I wanted to date him. I wanted to do things right. I wanted to know everything about him. And I wanted him. God, he was an amazing kisser.

That's what hours of non-sleep over the last week could do. It could make you really look at your life and realise what a sham it had been. There was no way I was going to be able to live with myself if I didn't really try with this man. He was already incredibly important to me and apart from the intense sexual attraction that I felt, there was so much more. I owed it to myself to try. So I'd decided that that's what I would do.

But I'd messed it up already by standing him up this morning. I carefully focused my camera on the two naked men sucking each other off on the bed in front of me. I loved my job. As I watched and worked, I thought about missing breakfast with Jasper. When you dated someone, you didn't stand them up and offer no word of apology or explanation, did you? What the hell did I know about dating someone? The two women who I'd had relationships with in the past both just sort of organised everything, telling me what to do and what not to do. How did I know if those relationships were how things were supposed to be?

So, what the hell should I do now?

I was so fucked.

~GF~

.

**JPOV**

'

I made myself a sandwich for lunch as I thought about things. I'd call him. It was obviously what I should do. I'd call, apologise for missing breakfast and arrange to - I hesitated over the unfamiliar phrase - go out tonight. We could ... I racked my brain furiously. This was ridiculous. I was an intelligent guy, why was this so hard? We could get something to eat, hit some slots at one of the casinos and catch a show. Yeah, something like that.

No problem.

Except I didn't have his cell number.

Shit. It was the first thing you did when you met a guy whose pants you wanted to get into. You got his number. However with Edward, I'd been so distracted by his smile, not to mention his beautiful ass, I hadn't even done that. And after getting to know him a bit more last night, I'd still forgotten to get his number.

Now what was I going to do?

~GF~

.

**EPOV**

.

I grabbed one of Sharon's delicious sandwiches out of the fridge as I tried to decide what to do next about Jasper. I'd call him. It was obviously what I should do. I'd call, apologise for missing breakfast with him and arrange to - I smiled nervously as I thought about it - go out tonight. It would be the first time I had ever asked someone out. We could ... I searched my brain furiously. This was stupid. I was a perfectly intelligent man, why was this so hard? We could get something to eat, go to one of the casinos, and maybe mess around on the slot machines - I'd never done that before - and then see one of the shows. Was that something that guys did? I think so.

Okay then.

Except I didn't have his cell number.

Shit. I was so inept. Wasn't it the first thing you did when you wanted to see someone again? Exchange numbers. Last night my brain had been so fuzzy I hadn't even thought of it.

Now what was I going to do?

~GF~

.

**Pete's POV**

.

It was a quiet night tonight - just me, a few beers and the TV for entertainment. I checked behind me to make sure Sharon wasn't around then propped my feet up on the coffee table, sinking back comfortably into all the cushions on the sofa. Perfect.

Except, what was that noise? It sounded like faint music coming from under all these cushions. Damn, it was my phone! I threw all the brightly coloured cushions on the floor and finally dug out my phone from where it had slipped down the side of the sofa. Who the hell was calling me just before my favourite show was about to start anyway?

I checked the display and grinned when I saw who it was. "Hey, Jay," I said as I answered the call. "Having a good weekend?"

"Hi, Pete. Not disturbing you am I?" He sounded a little ... anxious. I grinned some more. I had a pretty good idea what was on his mind, or rather who.

"Na, I was just settling in to watch the X Factor semi-finals tonight." I'm an addict, what can I say?

"Okay, well, I'll be quick then," Jay replied and his next words poured out so quickly I could hardly make sense of them. "I was just calling you because this morning I remembered I needed to ask Edward something and I forgot to ask him it last night so I thought I'd ask you if you maybe had his cell number so that I could call him up now and ... ask him."

Priceless. The unflappable Mr Whitlock was most definitely flapped. I stifled a laugh as I replied, "Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"You want Edward's cell number?"

"Um, yeah."

"And it's taken you since this morning to think of asking me for it?"

"Well ... yeah."

"You're an idiot. I'll text it to you." I was so enjoying myself.

"Thanks, Pete."

Still grinning, I ended the call and forwarded on Edward's cell number to Jay. I glanced at the time when I finished. Just time to grab a fresh beer before the show started. But before I could put the phone down on the coffee table, it rang again. I looked at the caller ID. Well, well, this night just got more interesting. I answered the phone and heard Edward say, "Hi, Pete."

"Oh, hi, Edward. How did it go last night?" I was dying to know all the details. I'd seen Edward coming back to his room in a different pair of jeans than he'd left in, so I knew _something_interesting must have happened.

"It was okay. Good. Thanks ... Listen, um, I was wondering. Do you maybe have Jasper's ..."

I grinned as I anticipated what he was asking for. "I'll text it to you." I said, fighting back another laugh. Those two, honestly. I could almost feel him blush over the phone.

"Thanks, Pete," he replied gratefully before hanging up.

I sent him Jay's number, fetched myself a fresh beer and settled back into the sofa again but seriously, who needed TV for entertainment when they had those two around? I couldn't wait for next week; things were going to get scorching around here.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, that's it for now, the next chapter will be coming soon though!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

.

It's taken me ages to update, sorry about that! Hope you enjoy it.

HUGE thanks to Maureen Thomas for being a super pre-reader and laughing at my Britishness and to Sue273 for a lightning quick beta despite the fact that I have no understanding of the rules of punctuation. (In fact I swear the rules change all the time just to catch me out.)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**Edward**

It was Monday morning but it felt like Christmas morning, the way I was awake early and feeling all excited inside. I was seeing Jasper today; we were meeting for breakfast. We'd actually spoken and arranged to meet each other. Not as a date or anything, no, of course not. But a definite plan to both be eating breakfast at the same time in the same place. Together. That wasn't a date.

I'd already showered, stared in bemusement at my hair in the mirror wondering what to do with it, shifted desultorily through my clothes picking out something unsatisfactory to wear and now I was ready ages before Sharon usually even started to put the breakfast things out. I should have gone to the gym, spent longer in the shower or something, anything to fill the time before I could see him again.

What the hell had happened to me?

I wanted to see him again so badly. I frowned as I felt the squirmy sort of energy I'd been carrying round inside me for days begin writhing in my chest. I'd never felt it in my life before I came here and met Jasper and it was so weird. It was as though part of me wanted to jump out and run to find him. Maybe like that 'Alien' creature.

Yeah, maybe not.

I sank down onto the side of my bed and dropped my head into my hands gripping my hair tightly. Thank God, I hadn't 'styled' it. It had been two days, two whole days, since we'd had dinner together at his apartment. It felt a hell of a lot longer than that. I think I had withdrawal symptoms or something. Sitting up and releasing my poor hair, I grinned at myself. I'd turned into a teenage girl, moping about after some boy!

Glancing at the time again, I thought, to hell with it, I was going to go down and get some coffee and then I was just going to sit in the sun and enjoy it. It wasn't as if I was going to be hanging around in case he came early - no, of course not.

I was really glad that we had talked on the phone and arranged to meet.

When I had finally managed to summon the courage to ask Pete for Jasper's number it had been Saturday night. I had spent a whole day filming hot, gorgeous guys having hot, sweaty sex and thinking constantly about him. Then I had called him. It doesn't sound like much of a thing I know, but it was in a way, I'd never called anyone before. I mean I'd called people, of course, but not because I was interested in them. I chuckled at my use of the word 'interested'. Interested was somewhere way back behind all the other lame statements that people make. I was way beyond interested.

I was kind of embarrassed about what we'd done together on Friday night. I mean, I'd enjoyed every second of it but I had never done casual sex before. If that counted as sex. If you still have all your clothes on, does it count? And if you come, does that make it sex? Anyway, whatever you call what we did, I wasn't sure how to act the morning after. Well, the evening after anyway.

I'd worn his jeans home. Talk about a badge of shame. Though I'd been too high on the best experience of my life to care anyway. He'd taken my things from me, telling me he would wash them and give them back to me. I really hoped that it wouldn't be in front of everybody. Not that I was ashamed or anything but it would be kind of embarrassing.

I wondered when we could do that again. And then I blushed at finding myself thinking that and then I wondered when we could do it again, again. Maybe it was true - guys really did think about sex every twenty seconds. It seemed to be true for me at the moment.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. What we'd done. How he'd felt, sounded and tasted. How I'd behaved. How much I had enjoyed being the new me. I only hoped I could manage it again soon. I couldn't wait to see him again. Hence, the phone call.

Of course, the call hadn't gone exactly as planned, not that I'd had a plan but you know what I mean. The first time I'd called, tapping the number in with shaky fingers, I'd reached his voice mail and the second time and the third. Was he never off the phone? I was just debating whether to try again, when he called me! I'd stared at his name on the screen wondering what the hell to do now.

The shaky confidence I'd had when dialling his number disappeared. I'd like to be able to say that I answered the phone in a cool and confident manner but, truthfully, I had panicked and had just decided to ignore his call when the damn slim, smooth iPhone had slipped out of my sweaty fingers towards the hardwood floor. Scrabbling for it, I had touched the 'answer' button and that was it, we were talking.

We'd talked for ages, not about anything in particular, just talking and it felt so great. All the nerves I'd had about calling him, seeing him again, after what we had talked about and done together, well, they just vanished. We laughed over how we'd both not even thought about it being a weekend, which didn't make much difference to me anyway to be honest. Lots of models could only get away over the weekend so Saturdays and Sundays were often busy filming days I'd been told. And we laughed when we worked out that he had been calling me while I had been trying to call him. Weird, huh?

He'd asked if we could meet for breakfast the next day, Sunday, sounding eager but then he'd paused dramatically when I told him I was starting work at seven and would be eating my breakfast around six. It seemed he'd got used to sleeping in on Sundays and the thought of getting up that early had been a shock. I smiled to myself as I remembered how he had taken a deep breath and offered to come over at six anyway. That was sort of nice, wasn't it? Cute even. God, he'd kill me if he ever knew I'd thought of him as cute! I knew he was relieved when I didn't take him up on his offer. I really wanted to see him again but I wasn't so mean as to make him get out of bed this early on his day off, even if it took a lot of will power on my part to tell him 'no'.

As we talked about my schedule though, we realised that there was just no time to meet on Sunday at all. I was working the whole day right through until nine when the last guys were leaving to catch their flights and I'd be really tired by then. The extra pay was great but knowing I was going to have to wait until Monday to see him again was sitting hard in my chest. I'd not only realised I was gay, I was turning into a teenage girl, too. What the hell was happening to me? Desperately, not thinking it through first, I asked him if I could call him when I finished work on Sunday evening. I waited holding my breath, was that too much? Had I sounded needy and desperate? Was I really kidding myself that I wasn't needy and desperate? But I swear I felt his smile through the phone after I asked. And yeah, if it made me feel all sort of glowing. That wasn't teenage-girly at all - it was manly, damn it. I'd gone to sleep Saturday night with a big grin on my face and my phone right next to me.

Sunday had been a big day for me.

When Jasper and I had our talk on Friday at his apartment, I'd realised that I needed to learn a few things so that Jasper didn't feel that he had to teach me about sex. The last thing I wanted was to remind him of that asshole guy who had used and left him. I was determined that the next time Jasper and I were together – oh God, together - I'd have more of a clue what I was doing. So far, we'd had a great kiss that had ended disastrously when Jasper had walked away and a great whatever it was that we'd done together on Friday. Amazing kissing, somehow that had all seemed to have worked itself out followed by both of us coming in our pants. He was probably used to men who didn't do that, so it was time to educate myself.

By now I'd had a front row seat to a hell of a lot of sex, so it wasn't as if I didn't know what guys did together, but there was still so much I didn't know. Like on Saturday, I'd been filming Ben and Trey and they had just shifted to their final position after some pretty intense action. Ben was sliding back into Trey when Trey had grabbed at Ben's thighs and cried, "There, yes, there … like that … more!" What had _that_been all about? The way Trey's chest had flushed and he had been unable to stop himself from coming in long white stripes across his abs it must have been something good. So there were things going on that you couldn't learn just from watching and I wanted to learn what those things were.

Sunday had been the second instalment of the 'education series' that Corbin had decided to shoot. The first had been the one on how to jack off. That had been great because I thought that I pretty much knew what I needed to know about that but in fact I'd learnt a lot. And had, of course, like a good student, practised. Lots.

Sunday's scene had been about oral sex.

Or, as Dru put it, the Art of Giving Great Head. He got a dreamy far-away look in his eyes whenever he said it. I think it was something that he enjoyed. According to the schedule, he was due to school a newbie - a straight guy - on how to do it. Seriously, what kind of crazy job was this I was doing? Anyway, the content of the film was going to be very educational because, of course, I'd never done it myself. Never even thought of doing it to another man. And I wanted to know how to do it so when I was with Jasper ...

The idea of actually doing it to Jasper turned me on so much, I could hardly think straight. Twenty minutes before we were due to start filming, I'd had to pretend I'd forgotten something and rush back to my room to practise lesson one again.

I'd never had very good blowjobs myself. My first girlfriend had done it as a sort of 'you're-a-good-boy-and-you-deserve-a-treat' kind of thing, not because she really wanted to or because she liked doing it, so it hadn't happened often. She hadn't been very good I didn't think because although it had felt hot and wet and different, I hadn't really seen why so much fuss was made about it. Sex in general had made me feel that.

But now, things were different. I very much thought I understood what all the fuss was about. Hours of filming guys sucking each other had shown me that I had definitely never had the full experience of _that_. Sex in all its forms was something I couldn't wait to experience. But despite this, I knew I'd never be able to just strip naked and jump in front of a camera, or even have anonymous sex with hot guys in clubs or whatever. I wanted sex but I needed to feel a connection to the person I was with. Like I felt with Jasper. One brush of Jasper's hand against the back of mine and I understood what all the fuss was about. One look, one kiss, one oh my God orgasm while sitting on his lap and humping against him had me very much understanding what the fuss was about.  
>And I wanted more. Much more.<p>

Getting ready for the scene had been a bit surreal. Dru was laid back and relaxed. His scene partner, Andy, was a little nervous and hyped about his first time with another man and about being on camera but overall he was looking forward to the attention and joked cheerfully about being paid to have a good time. I completely related to the last comment; I should be paying Corbin for this.

The plan was for Dru and the younger man to kiss and get comfortable with each other and then Dru would sit back in the chaise in the corner of the room and talk Andy through what he needed to know. They wouldn't be moving around the room, so I'd picked a spot where I'd get a good view of the both of them and had arranged the lights so there'd be no chance of me causing shadows, even if I moved in for close-ups or different angles. I'd chosen and placed furniture and room dressings that would have an intimate feel in the finished film, even if the lights, equipment and camera that we could all see spoiled that image for us.

I took a leaf out of Corbin and Pete's book and started the filming with me chatting with the two models as they sat together on the modern black leather chaise. A soft downy white blanket draped over one corner and a lush green plant at the edge of the shot helped to create a warm, comfortable atmosphere for Andy's first time getting up close and naked with another man. I asked them a couple of questions each before they started the scene, admiring how they looked next to each other, one older and experienced, the other younger and genuinely keen to learn. Andy told us earnestly that he planned on passing on everything he learned today to his girlfriend, so it was in his own best interests to concentrate on everything Dru taught him. Dru just smirked cheerfully and solemnly promised to do the best job he could so that Andy would benefit later. They both laughed and were looking comfortable with each other by this point, so I nodded to Dru, letting him know to carry on with the scene as the three of us had planned. I think I was looking forward to the experience almost as much as they were. I was really hoping that I'd be able to remember everything that Dru taught, too.

They slipped easily into the scene thanks to Dru, who was gently confident and assured, and soon had Andy happily stripped down to nothing but his tan and a smile. I was getting more used to the 'oh-my-God-there's-a-naked-man-in-front-of-me' feeling, but I was sure that the thrill would never go away.

Dru helped Andy dispose of his own clothes and I felt a surge of excitement as I watched the two good looking guys kissing and touching each other. The sight of the naked men turned me on so much it was almost hard to remember that I was there to work and not just to watch. That was for the audience later.

Dru was tall, lean and pale skinned; Andy was shorter, muscular with a golden tan. The contrast looked great on camera - well, I certainly enjoyed it anyway. Dru laid himself back on the black leather chaise and Andy eagerly knelt before him eyeing his erection with an appreciative gleam in his eye. I'm sure I had the same look in mine, too. Andy was keen to start and soon held the base of Dru's cock in his fingers as he tentatively ran his tongue up from base to tip. Dru grunted encouragingly at Andy's first strokes and said just one word, "More."

Encouraged, Andy went to it and licked in firmer stripes, running his tongue over the ridge of the head slowly, getting used to the texture and the taste. My own tongue was clamped firmly between my teeth because I wanted to know what that felt and tasted like, too. God, I was never going to get through this and we'd only just started! Andy looked like he was attacking a rapidly melting ice cream, leaving no part of the cone unlicked. It looked amazing. After a minute, the younger man took Dru's cock gently in his fingers and lowered his lips over the gleaming pink head and began to suck gently, unsure how much pressure to use. Dru started to talk to him as he worked, letting him know it was okay to use a little more suction and that he could use his hand as well as his mouth.

It was at this point that I really wished I had a note pad and pen. I wanted to take notes.

With Dru's prompting, Andy started working his hand and mouth in an uncoordinated but enthusiastic fashion, making sure that even Dru's impressive length was fully taken care of.

"Look at me," Dru instructed him in a tone that was deeper than his usual and had more than a hint of command to it. Without stopping what he was doing, Andy immediately lifted his brown eyes to meet Dru's and I hastily shifted position to get a shot from behind the older man's shoulder, down his chest and abs to the dark haired man kneeling before him. God, that looked sexy as hell, seeing a man with his lips and fingers tightly around your cock sucking you while he watched you through his lashes like that. Andy obviously realised this because he added a devilish gleam to his eyes, which made Dru groan in appreciation then laugh. "Oh, yes, just like that!" He laid his head back against the chaise. I shifted position again and Dru seemed to remember why he was there. "That's it, keep using your hand. The best blowjobs usually have a lot of hand action going on, too. Make a tight circle with your fingers … mmm, that's it. Bring your fingers up to touch your lips and then move them up and down at the same time as your mouth. Yeah, like that … mmm." Andy looked like he was nodding, taking in the information and Dru closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. It looked like Andy was an excellent pupil.

"Use your tongue on the up stroke," Dru instructed still fully in command, "run it up the vein ... oh yeah, that's it." One of his hands was in Andy's hair now, not gripping or even guiding, just resting there. "Flat, broad strokes for some then point your tongue for others … yes … like that."

He sucked in a deep breath and tried to concentrate on talking, which I imagine was pretty hard to do in the circumstances. "Control is important," he instructed, combing his fingers through the curly dark hair now, giving encouragement to the younger man. "Giving good head means controlling the experience and making it the best possible, making it …" he was unable to continue as Andy's cheeks hollowed as he applied suction and lifted off Dru's cock with a soft 'pop' sound. "…last as long as possible," continued Dru on a gasp. "Oh God …"

Andy grinned up at him smugly and made sure to keep eye contact. Yep, a good pupil all right. Dru ran his hand through Andy's hair with a contented grin of his own. "When you're down there going at it, remember variety is important. You're in the driving seat." Andy swirled his tongue around and around the head of the perfect long cock in front of him, listening carefully. Dru bit his bottom lip again before managing to continue giving his lesson. "Rather than just bobbing up and down at the same speed, add in a little variety. Start with five slow bobs, then four fast, then three slow, then two fast … you get the idea." He took a deep breath and his free hand gripped tightly to the black leather as Andy found what a particular sensitive spot was obviously just under the ridge and lapped at it with his tongue like a cat lapping up cream. "Once you've reached two fast ones go back to five slow and start over again. That'll help build up the anticipation, which is the difference between good head and really great head."

Andy was more than happy to put this theory to the test and the next few minutes were filled with a dark bobbing head and a shifting of position as Andy wrapped his free hand around his own cock and began to jerk himself off in time with his administrations to Dru. I shifted my feet and wished, not for the first time this week, that I wasn't there to work but to lose myself in pleasure, too. Dru groaned words of encouragement as he lay his head back against the chair back and enjoyed his pupil's efforts.

After a couple more minutes, Dru turned his head and looked at me with a desperate edge in his eye and I cleared my throat and said, "I think we'll take a break for a minute. You okay with that, Andy?" If my voice came out a bit more squeaky than usual, it was just because it was dry in the room. Andy released Dru's cock with delightful reluctance and sat back on his heels.

"Yeah, that's fine," he replied, wiping his lips with his hand. "Um, is it going okay so far?" he asked me. What the hell was he asking me for? It was Dru's cock that he'd had in his mouth. Then I remembered, oh yeah, we were making a film.

"Yes, great. Keep it up." I grinned weakly and Dru laughed.

"You're _too_good - just give me a minute, okay?" Andy grinned proudly and I hoped like hell that I'd be able to perform half as well for Jasper when, or if, I ever got the chance. Oh God, don't think of Jasper now.

Dru was languidly stroking himself, keeping himself hard but not over excited. "Want to shift positions next?" I asked Andy. "That's got to be hard going on your knees." He nodded and he and Dru got back into position. He quickly squirted out a dose of lube for his own hand job as I picked up the filming where they had stopped. I filmed them shifting position so that Andy was lying more on the chaise, sparing his knees and also allowing the camera a fine shot of his muscular torso - have to love my job.

Dru was able to speak a little more coherently after his break and gave Andy some instruction on waking up the sensitive nerve endings in the head of a cock in an entirely new way. "Take a break from the warm-and-wet routine and pull away from sucking the head and blow a puff of air over it instead. It feels incredible. Always makes me shiver down to my toes." Which he did when Andy tried it. After a few more minutes of what looked like very satisfying work, Dru nudged Andy's shoulder, urging him to lift away long enough for Dru to get his breath back and say, "You can add a little teeth, too, if you're careful. As a general rule teeth and cock don't play well together but a very gentle touch of teeth up and down the shaft can really make the adrenaline flow." Now that was something I wasn't sure about, it sounded terrifying, but I figured Dru knew what he was talking about. All the same, it was one thing I didn't think I would be making a note of in my mental notebook.

Andy though was the consummate pupil and went to work practising all the skills that Dru had taught him. My own heart was pounding and Dru's skin soon gleamed with a light sheen of sweat as a flush worked across his face and down over his pale chest. Andy was fisting himself in a fast rhythm, his golden-skinned muscles flexing and bunching in his arm and shoulder and making humming, keening sounds around Dru's cock. I hastily prepared for the final shots, making sure I was in position to capture the moment to get the full effect. It had been agreed that if possible Dru would come first, followed by Andy kneeling up and shooting over Dru's chest for maximum audience pleasure. But as Dru arched his back and pushed at Andy's shoulder, urging him to release him, gasping, "Yeah, yeah …oh yeah …" in a loud feverish tone, Andy cried out and shoved his hips forward sharply, too. They both came simultaneously. Andy pumping them both, a cock firmly in each hand, as they shot strings of creamy come into the air above Dru's abs, looking for all the world like the fountains in front of the Bellagio as the spurts of come crossed each other in the air and fell in graceful arcs down to the taut skin of Dru's abs. From the angle of the camera, the light caught the shiny fluid as it pulsed, spurted, arched and fell, and it was a money-shot that we could never have planned in advance.

I was as out of breath as either of the other two men and nowhere near as satisfied but I was determined to get some 'cooling down' time with the two guys and kept on filming them as they relaxed in a sated, sweaty heap laughing about their 'expertly choreographed' orgasms.

I kept my cool long enough to ask Andy for the camera how he had found the experience and to ask Dru for his opinion on his pupil's skills but I had no idea what they replied. My jeans were so dammed tight – fucking uncomfortable zipper - and I was wound up like a spring. This was either the best job in the world or the worst.

We finished the scene with me panning back to get them both in view lying, replete against the black leather, both of them wearing nothing but big satisfied smiles and splashes of creamy come and I wondered for a moment if in fact mine wasn't the _second_best job in the world after all.

~~GF~~

After wrapping up that scene, I had to rush to get ready to shoot a scene with Trey. He was booked to catch a mid-afternoon plane home and we needed the scene to go without a hitch. I was on second camera again this time with Pete on first. The scene went well until it came time to put a condom on. They guys usually handled them with practiced ease but for some reason Trey had trouble with opening the packet with his lube slippery fingers. After the third time diving off the bed to retrieve the slippery foil, amid laughs and jokes, Trey managed to grip it tightly enough to rip the packet open with his teeth. Then it turned out that he had torn the condom with his teeth, too. The incredibly thin material split as he stretched it with his fingers and pinged across the room. Pete and I, with both of the models, were laughing so hard by then we practically had to start the scene again to get both guys to the point that they were _ready_ to wear a condom and get fucked and to where we could hold a camera still without shaking with laughter.

When we all calmed down and built up the tension again, Pete took no chances. He put down his camera, picked up the new foil packet, expertly opened it, kneeled down before Trey and smoothed it down his length for him. He waggled his eyebrows up at Trey, who was laughing again, then stood, slapped him on the bare ass, picked up his camera and began filming again. I felt sorry for whoever was going to be editing this one.

Finally, both the models and cameramen were able to finish the scene, though I was pretty sure it would be fodder for laughs around the barbeque for quite a while. Pete just winked and said not to tell his boyfriend he'd touched another cock and it was with a laughter-filled heart, an incredibly empty stomach and a semi-permanent hard on that I managed to take a break for half an hour.

But now I was worried.

I had never been very good with the whole condom thing. They were awkward as Trey had just proved and I'd never mastered putting one on without looking like a fumbling schoolboy. I needed to practise. I needed some condoms. Where the hell could I get some condoms on a Sunday afternoon?

Are you kidding?

The memory of the storeroom filled with boxes and boxes of the things sprang instantly to mind. I was sure they wouldn't mind if I took a few. They'd hardly notice, but I couldn't just go into the storeroom of mysteries and help myself. That would be rude, not to mention stealing, so I needed to ask if it would be okay for me to have a couple or a few maybe, in case I broke them with my fumbling. So who could I ask that wouldn't question why I wanted them or embarrass the hell out of me? It was a short list.

"Hey, Sharon."

"Hey, Edward, are you here for lunch? There's, sandwiches and salads in the fridge."

"Um, a bit later thanks. Actually I was wondering, I kind of wanted to borrow, well to have … and replace of course, a couple of, er, condoms and I wondered if it would be okay to er, well, get a couple out of the storeroom." I'd never asked something so difficult before. My ears were burning with embarrassment.

Sharon gave me a quick look but bit back whatever she had been about to quip.

"Sure. Help yourself." She slid open one of the kitchen drawers, which I assumed had silverware or something like that in. There were a whole slew of take-out menus piled in the draw along with dozens of condoms. "They're all over the house!" Sharon laughed at my expression. "Just open any drawer or cupboard and you'll find handfuls. Help yourself to anything in the main store room, too," she added with a wink. I blushed afresh. I didn't even know what some of those things in the storeroom _were_. Grabbing a few condoms out of the drawer, I shoved them in my pocket, not really looking at how many there were and headed back up to my room to hide … I mean, put them away. For practising. Later.

~~GF~~

10.27pm. I was exhausted but the busy day was finished at last. I'd spoken briefly to Jasper on the phone, flopped on my bed and was ready for sleep. However, I had one last lesson to practise before I went to sleep. I wanted to practise with a condom. I wanted to be ready when, or if, the situation came … er, up, with Jasper. I had no idea how two men decided who was going to do what to who when they weren't being instructed by a director and camera crew, but I wanted to be ready just in case it was me who was … up … in Jasper. Not that he wouldn't be 'up' of course, I mean, just in case I was the one going to be 'up' up in Jasper's … um.

I threw my arm over my eyes. I couldn't even say it, how the hell was I ever going to be able to do it? Just the thought of Jasper's bare back, his tattoo black against his tanned skin, his ass so perfect, rounded and firm, just like I'd seen when he was doing that scene with Travis, had me releasing my long-suffering erection from the torturous jeans and running my hand soothingly up and down my length. It had been a long day. A day filled with sex and perfect bodies and absolutely no release at all. Before I knew it, I was lifting my hips from the mattress and pulsing my come over my t-shirt, the memory of Jasper's naked body in my mind.

Thank fuck I'd finally found some release today.

My hard cock could rest at last.

I just needed to practise the condom thing and then I could go to sleep.

My recently wilted cock gave a half-hearted twitch and remained replete. Exhausted. Well, hell, I was never going to get a condom on that now. What was I going to do? It wasn't as if I could practise on anyone else now was it? And cocks come attached to people. I mean, where can you find just a cock to practise on? Two minutes later, I was back down in the storeroom of mystery choosing a dildo to practise with. Well, I might as well.

~~GF~~

So, here it was, Monday morning or maybe even Christmas morning with the way I was awake early and feeling all excited inside. I was seeing Jasper today; we were meeting for breakfast. We'd actually spoken last night and arranged to meet each other. Not as a date or anything, no, of course not. But a definite plan to both be eating breakfast at the same time in the same place. Together. That wasn't a date.

The fact that last night I had practised opening condom packets and slipping the contents awkwardly down the heavy rubber dildo I had borrowed might have led anyone to think that I was hoping it was a date was beside the point. And the fact that I had spent quite some time chokingly practising the moves that Dru had taught Andy really didn't mean anything either. I just wanted to be prepared. Just in case.

I poured fresh coffee, chose a seat out by the pool in the warm sun and waited for Jasper. Because fuck it, that's what I was doing. Waiting for Jasper.

It was still early, only a couple of other people were around, when I heard the sound of the side gate opening and closing. I looked up expectantly and wasn't disappointed.

Jasper was here.

I felt the thing in my chest do the expanding helium thing again, the lower half of my body joining in now, too, as if my cock sat up and took notice every time he was near. Which come to think of it, it did now, and I felt a smile stretch across my face. It was all involuntary. I couldn't stop any of it happening if I wanted to.

He spotted me immediately and a smile spread across his face, too. It just made me smile harder, which in turn made him smile harder.

Well, it was a good job there weren't many people around - we must have looked like a pair of idiots.

He strode towards me, that long-legged, confident stride that churned me up inside and started a slow burn in my guts.

"Hey."

"Hey." Who said the art of conversation was dead? He slid into the seat next to me, sitting close so our shoulders almost brushed. I felt a blush start to stain my cheeks and swallowed hard fighting to control the weird bursting feeling in my chest and the urge to crawl up onto his lap again. But we couldn't do that here.

"Mornin' Edward," he said, turning his head towards me and eyeing me intently while stretching out his arm on the table next to mine. "It's been a long weekend." Light as air he brushed the backs of his fingers against mine. The gesture felt as intimate as a kiss, as powerful as what we had shared Friday night.

"Morning, Jay," I replied, fighting to control my smile. "It's been a _really_, long weekend."

We both sat in the sun, grinning at each other like idiots, and I don't know about Jasper, but I was more than ready to start this new week with him. I was looking forward to every minute of it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Um, well, what can I say? Yup, it's been a while.**

**As always huge thanks to my Beta Sue273 and my pre reader Maureen Thomas. I don't know how they put up with me!**

**And thanks of course to everyone who has been patiently waiting!**

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

Breakfast's one of the most important meals of the day, you know. Or at least one of my foster moms used to say that. I never believed her. Until now. Breakfast with Jasper was definitely important. Kind of re-charged my batteries, as if a weekend apart from him had left me drained somehow. But now, feeling his gaze stroke across my face, the backs of his fingers brush light as air against the backs of mine, hearing his laugh and his voice, I felt recharged. I think I ate some food, too. Can't really remember.

We were both early so we had time to sit and talk and enjoy each other's company. Since we were now 'at work', the subject of armchairs and Friday night was avoided, though the unguarded heat I saw in his eyes sometimes as he flicked his gaze to meet mine showed me that he was thinking about it. And oh God, so was I.

We sat next to each other, not touching—damn the no fraternizing rules in this house—just each basking in the presence of the other. I had to forcefully suppress the feeling of unreality when I remembered that Jasper wanted us to be together, too. And although 'be together' had yet to be defined, I was all for the 'see how it goes' plan.

Conversation was easy and we managed to cover sport, movies and how uncomfortable the patio furniture was before we were joined by some of the other guys. Jasper was happily relaxed until Dru turned towards me and casually said he had enjoyed working with me yesterday. I watched as tension gripped Jasper suddenly, and although he made an effort to relax again, he couldn't seem to stop watching Dru. Every time Dru looked at me or moved towards me in any way, Jasper's shoulders tightened up and his smile became just a bit tighter. What was that all about? I'd replied that Dru had looked good on camera, that's all. And I'd probably blushed a bit when I said it because, come on, when don't I blush? But there was no reason for Jasper to act weird around Dru. No reason at all.

I kept the conversation firmly away from work after that, but Jasper was just that bit more withdrawn again, dammit. No one else seemed to notice, but I was getting to know him better now and I could tell.

I absolutely did not want him retreating from me, not after what happened Friday night and the relaxed conversations we'd had since then. Fighting down the long ingrained urge to just 'let things be' and not cause any problems, I got a hold of my new resolve, gave Jasper a sharp nudge under the table with my foot and stood up. I was going to find out what was bugging him and fix it, dammit.

"Well, time to get ready to work," I said inanely to the table in general, hoping that Jasper would get the hint. I nudged his foot to make sure he did. "Come on, Jasper, come with me." He looked up at me tilting his head back, stretching his neck and his long body against the back of the chair. The corners of his eyes crinkling as he squinted against the bright morning light. I swallowed against the sudden dryness in my mouth. God, he looked good like that, lying there stretched out below me; indolently reclining against the chair, one leg stretched out under the table, the other bent at the knee pulling the soft denim of his jeans tight around his thigh. I'd been sat on that thigh, I reminded myself—felt its hardness, its strength, the way it flexed and tensed. There was a pause at the table, a really long pause, while I enjoyed the memory. The sound of an amused cough from one of the other guys brought me back to reality again. What had I been doing? Oh yeah, trying to talk to Jasper. Away from distractions. Panicking, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Jay… Jasper, you were going to show me that… um, thing?" Treading on his foot now with increasing urgency, I cringed as I heard myself speak. That 'um thing'? Poorly disguised snickers came from across the table and I knew if I looked there would be accompanying smirks. Shoot me now.

Jasper's lips twitched and he definitely had a faint self-satisfied smirk about him. He evidently decided to take pity on me though because he stood up, stretching his long body in evident relief after sitting in the not-so-comfortable patio chair. Dru said something, but I don't know what; I had awareness only for Jasper as I followed his movements greedily with my eyes; long arms stretching back behind him, hard chest flexing beneath fabric, the t-shirt riding a little higher on his waist as he flexed his spine back giving me a glimpse of taut abs and smooth pale gold skin above the faded denim of his jeans. I licked my lips and swallowed. Hard.

Jasper watching me, just grinned—his good mood apparently restored—and picked up a small backpack I hadn't noticed him carrying earlier. "See you guys later," he said to the table in general and nudged me to start walking, which was good because seriously I couldn't remember what I had been about to do. He fell into place beside me and we began the short walk across the patio towards the house.

"That 'um thing'?" he asked softly, not hiding the laughter in his voice.

I flushed. Of course, I did. "Shut up, I'm not good at making stuff up." I growled quietly back at him, not sure if I should be embarrassed or really worried that I'd messed things up. He nudged me with his shoulder as we walked, an 'I'm only joking' kind of gesture, and I felt relief flood through me that whatever his problem was with me talking about Dru seemed to be over.

Turning to me as we walked, he waggled his eyebrows, and asked with a grin, "So, are you actually going to show me your 'um thing'?" God, the things he could do to me with those eyebrows, that voice, that grin…

I tore my gaze from him before I did something stupid like grab him and kiss him. "Shut up," I replied again weakly, nudging him back and feeling the indescribable something in my chest squirm. I realized that a grin matching his own had spread across my face and was glad no one else was around to see it.

Knowing that we had no time for anything Friday-night-armchair related, I forced my addled brain to stop thinking in those directions and to work clearly for a minute. I was going to have to find that inner confident me again and show I wanted him. "I've got about twenty minutes before I have to be working," I began quickly. "So let's decide whether or not we are actually going to share the next meal together before we forget again. You know, make a plan, set a date…" realizing what I had said, I trailed off, leaving the 'date' word hanging uncomfortably. We were deep into the shadowy kitchen by now, heading towards the hallway. I suddenly felt my old insecurity fill me. It was just a word, but might that have been too…much? Our agreement was that we would 'see how it goes' not that we would officially date. And anyway, was that even something that two guys did? I watched as he tensed up at my use of the word and waited anxiously for his reply. Christ, I was so crap at this.

"Let's talk in your room, Edward," was his sighed reply, as he stepped past me and started up the stairs. Despite my feeling that I had just messed everything up again, I was hopelessly drawn to follow him. Actually behind him was a pretty good place to be—he had a beautiful ass. And long strong legs. I stumbled as I walked not taking my eyes off the stretch of the denim over what I knew was smooth firm skin and long strong muscles. I bit my lip to hold back a moan and resolutely followed him up the rest of the stairs. Please, don't let me have messed this up.

He didn't turn to speak to me or even look at me as I told him which room was mine. The teasing of moments ago was gone. He was confusing, he was frustrating, he was driving me fucking nuts.

Once in my room, I closed the door sharply behind me.

"We should leave that open," he said. "House rules."

"Why?" I asked, my confusion and anger fueling my bravery. "It doesn't look like we're going to do anything now." Both of us froze at the word 'now', knowing that a couple of minutes ago we would have been all over each other. "What's wrong, Jasper? I'm…" I paused, wondering if I was just reading this whole thing wrong. "I'm sorry if I you thought I was suggesting something that isn't what guys do." He almost flinched at that. Christ, and I thought women were difficult to understand.

He sighed and slid a hand into one of his front pockets, not meeting my eyes. "Sorry, Edward, it's just…"

Just what? Was he having second thoughts about me again? I'd thought we had got past this on Friday night. In fact, that was such a good point, I thought I might as well say it.

"I thought we were past this, Jasper." It came out as a cracked whisper. Jesus, my eyes were even prickling. What did this man do to me to bring out my emotions like this? They usually were so well hidden, I half thought I didn't have any and now… He looked upset at my words or possibly my badly hidden hurt.

"Sorry, Edward. It's just that I don't…" He stopped himself from saying whatever it was he had been about to reveal and took in another deep breath. I silently urged him to continue. "We shouldn't date," he continued in a rush. "This, with us, it's just… see how it goes, yeah? It's not…" He jammed his hand into his pocket and clenched the other into a frustrated fist and, with dawning understanding, I silently cursed the jack ass who had hurt him in the past. Instinctively, I reached my hand towards him, brushing the backs of my fingers over the clenched backs of his, a barely-there touch like he had given me earlier at breakfast.

"It's okay," I replied as softly as I could manage with all the turmoil inside. "We're just…yeah. See how it goes. I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean… it's just a word, you know?" The squirmy thing in my chest was doing its best to kill me, or so it felt like and the prickling in my eyes was back. What the hell was wrong with me?

He swallowed hard, slowly unclenching his fingers and smiling a smile that was more like the Jasper I knew. "Thanks, I guess I needed that." I thought his eyes still looked a bit wild as he gazed at me, like there was a fight going on inside his head. I could almost feel the thoughts as they battered around in there and I watched as he fought them into some kind of submission. "Sorry," he sighed, his whole body seeming to sag and I thought he looked sad. I smiled at him hoping to get a response and thankfully he seemed to come back to me a little. He reached down for his backpack then and opened it, handing me my jeans freshly washed as promised. When he looked back at me, the confusing emotion was gone from his eyes and memories of Friday night swirled there instead. His growing smile was full of memory, too. I was so glad to see him smile.

I fought down the heat in my cheeks that thinking of Friday gave me and took the jeans from him, throwing them on the bed, and matching the knowing smile with one of my own. The last ten minutes faded away as memories of the heat and the passion and the oh, so damn good, swirled around us and our smiles stretched to grins as we both remembered. The tension around us shifted from uncertainty and confusion into want, need, touch, taste, but although we swayed towards each other as though we were pulled together by some invisible force, we each managed to regain enough sense to straighten up and pull away, and not give in and make a grab for each other. But it was hard.

Achingly hard, actually.

Clearing his throat and stepping away from the very real possibility that we might break every single house rule right there and then, Jasper shrugged apologetically and I suddenly didn't know what to do with my hands. I settled for shoving them in the pockets of my jeans—less chance of me reaching for him and grabbing him and kissing him…

He sobered again, a flash of sadness flickering in his eyes, and took a deep breath. With the appearance of a man walking to his own death, he gestured around the room. "I thought you might like to get out of here tonight," he said. He had his hands shoved in his pockets now, too. "I know a place that's fun, has good beer and serves amazing chicken wings. Want to go?"

Now, if I didn't know better, I might have thought I had just been asked out on a date. Very reluctantly. His mood swings were giving me whiplash. Confused, I just nodded. "I'd love to," I replied and that was that.

"Great." He flashed me a grin that didn't quite make it all the way to his eyes, and added, "I don't think I'll be around at lunch time, just to let you know." He looked at me, telling me he wasn't avoiding me, asking me to trust him. "Mondays are usually pretty hectic," he explained with a shrug, "so I'll meet you downstairs at eight, then? Is that okay?" I nodded again not sure if he actually wanted to take me out or not. But he had asked.

He grinned again and sketched a wave as he left the room, and I watched him leave, confused and aching. This wasn't going to be easy, but at least we were going to spend time together again. That had to be a good thing, right?

Jasper POV

I sat at my desk. Monday morning lists and chores piled around me. But I hardly saw the chaos. Breakfast hadn't gone quite as I had planned it. I was scared. And that was something I just didn't feel.

I'm not saying that I never got scared, but it was rare. The first time I was flown into Vegas by Corbin and had been asked to strip naked in front of a camera. That hadn't scared me. But then, I'd always been a bit of an exhibitionist.

The time Gram had told me Pops had prostate cancer. That had scared me, sure, but I was determined he could beat it, so it scared me but spurred me on, too. It made me angry that it had happened to him and fucking determined that he could beat it. Which he had.

But this. This with Edward. This scared me.

In so many ways, it was so right with him. The timing was perfect. I had already made the decision to stop the porn films job; it had been fun and I'd enjoyed it while it lasted, but that phase of my life was over now. I wanted different things now. A 'proper' job. A healthy relationship, not just a bad choice or a succession of pick-ups that lasted a night or a weekend in between rounds of health checks and abstinence. I was ready for more. And with Edward, I felt I'd found that.

I was drawn to him like no one else. There was something between us that was more than physical attraction. And when we were together… words failed me. Friday night had been incredible. Fuck, he was beautiful when he came. I'd never get enough of seeing him like that. And we hadn't even taken our clothes off. I'd come in my pants like a schoolboy and hadn't even cared. Gone was the legendary restraint, the ability to come only when I let myself—something very useful in my former profession. Friday night, Edward had undone me completely.

He was perfect.

Except for one little thing.

He was completely inexperienced; freshly out and as green as they came.

I'd believed him on Friday when he'd said that he was sure he was gay and that it wasn't just a phase with him. I honestly believed now that he wouldn't 'change his mind' and go back to hetro heaven, but he was still so new to all of it.

And that was the crunch; how could he be sure that I was the one, like I was with him? His slip about not knowing if two guys dated had stabbed me in the chest, reminding me of how little he knew of the world. My stomach turned at the thought of getting hurt again. I'd let one man into my life before. Risked, without thought or consideration, my heart. Just threw it over the fence, the future be dammed. And I'd been treated badly and got hurt. I was scared. Scared to let it happen again.

But what I'd reminded myself over the weekend was that I never gave in—it wasn't the Whitlock way. When I saw something I wanted, I went out and got it, and if something was in the way, I dealt with it. I wanted Edward. The fact that it was my own fear standing in the way made no difference. I would overcome it and get what I wanted.

It had taken me all weekend to come up with that. A whole two days of time wasted away from Edward. But it was good to solidly make the decision to put away my fear and to try.

And at breakfast this morning, it had lasted about five minutes.

As soon as Edward had mentioned that he thought Dru had looked good during his scene, I had felt my heart sink, because I knew that it was wrong of me to try and keep him. Edward was basically a kid in a candy shop for the very first time. He had no idea what it was he wanted. I was just the very first Popsicle he had seen.

I put my head down on the small bit of space on my desk as I thought about it and contemplated thumping it up and down a few times. It might distract from the burning I felt inside whenever I remembered that Edward had seen Dru naked and had liked what he saw. I growled and thumped my head experimentally. Nope, it didn't help. Of course, my little show earlier stretching in the chair had kept Edward's attention on me, so much so that he hadn't even heard Dru ask him when they were working together again. I smirked at that thought. Jasper 1—Dru 0.

Sighing, I sat back up. As we sat out in the sun earlier, I had known that I wanted him to only want me, but it dawned on me that there was a whole world of men for him to choose from. Not Dru, because he was straight, but I knew I shouldn't be staking a claim on Edward and not let him really choose. Did he even realize that there were other men out there who would love to be with him? Men who would be so much better for him than I was?

I knew it was only fair I let him see what was available out there. I didn't want him to pick me because he thought I was the only gay man around who wanted him. He should have a choice, a chance to work out who and what he liked, what he wanted. I was going to have to do the right thing, dammit, and it fucking pissed me off.

I groaned and sunk my head into my hands. I could try and hide it. I could push it away and pretend it wasn't there, but whatever I did, it wouldn't go away. I was scared. Scared he wouldn't pick me and that would hurt, and scared he would but would then leave me for someone else. I was screwed either way.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. I was a fucking idiot for doing it, but I knew I needed to take Edward out and show him the world. Well, a bit of it anyway. So tonight I was taking him to a gay bar. God, help me.

~GF~

At eight o'clock, he was wearing the jeans I'd returned to him this morning and a loose shirt—black and white check, baggy, wrinkled and was that toothpaste on it? I hoped it wasn't something else.

"Sorry," he babbled, stumbling down the stairs. "The scene ran late. I was going to do laundry but I just didn't have time. Sorry." He looked so miserable at not having spent time preening himself, I laughed. God, the man could do the puppy dog eyes like no one else.

"It's fine," I assured him. "Wear what you like." I meant every word—he didn't need to dress up for me.

"But I can't," he replied. "This," he grabbed the edge of the shirt and flapped it around his body for emphasis, "…is all I have left that's clean." He noticed the blob of hopefully, toothpaste and his face fell even more. "Shit. It was clean. I guess we'll have to go out another night?"

He looked so crestfallen. So damned cute. So completely fuckable. Remember the plan, Jasper. He's not yours, not until he actually chooses.

"Want to stop by my place and borrow one of my shirts?" It came out before I thought about it. Fuck, why had I said that? I could have postponed this outing, kept him to myself for a little longer, but it was too late now.

"You wouldn't mind?" he asked, looking hopeful and more than a little excited. God knows the 'come back to my place and get changed' line was as old as the hills, but he honestly looked like he'd never heard it before.

Back down, Jasper, I thought sternly. No fucking him, just dressing him.

Fuck my life.

"'Course, I don't mind." If I said it through gritted teeth, it was understandable. Now not only did I have to introduce him to a bar full of horny men, I had to dress him to show him off, too. I was a saint. Seriously. "Come on, let's get out of here." And get this torture over with.

~GF~

We went to eat first, steak and beer and conversation, and I forgot for a couple of hours that he wasn't mine. I watched the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he bit his lip, the way his long fingers gestured as he spoke. And I fell even deeper.

Afterwards, I took him to Piranha because we might as well do the Las Vegas experience, right? It was nothing to do with the fact that the high price of the nightclub would at least keep the worst of the guys away from Edward and give him something a bit classier to … pick from. Not that class was something you saw a lot of around here.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt which I'd left untucked over my favorite dark grey pants. I'd dressed carefully. Just because I was showing Edward that he had a choice didn't mean I wasn't going to try damn hard to be chosen. We'd picked out a deep blue shirt for Edward and it was snug across his shoulders and chest, giving the buttons something to do each time he moved. He chose to wear it tucked into the black pants I'd loaned him and the view of his ass whenever he turned away from me was going to give me a coronary.

We got a beer each and then settled back against the bar to watch the world go by. Well, the gay portion of it currently hanging out here, anyway. Edward was excited to be here and he could barely keep his eyes off the writhing mass on the dance floor. I was stood next to him, shoulder to shoulder—hey, the bar was crowded—and each time he turned his body to gawk at a particularly flamboyant sight passing by, his ass brushed against my hip, and I gripped my beer tighter and gritted my teeth. He was going to kill me.

Needing to do something to distract me from his-ass-and-my-hip, I gestured to the mass of bodies on the dance floor, most of whom were moving to the heavy beat of the music and some of whom were oblivious to it. "Do you want to dance?" I asked.

Edward spun his head round to face me so quickly I jumped back. "Dance? Me?"

I laughed at his incredulity. "Yeah, you. And me." I clarified, just in case he thought I wanted him to go and put a show on for me or something. Not that I'd mind.

"Oh, um, no... that's not...I don't think..."

"Relax." I laughed, unable to resist slinging an arm around his shoulders and squeezing reassuringly. "We don't have to, we can just watch." He relaxed and turned back to watch the crowd again and I sighed in amused pleasure. He sure was different from the guys I usually hung out with here. Or picked up here.

After a while, my not groping the sexy as hell man I was standing next to became obvious to everyone there and we began to generate some more obvious interest. The first guy to approach Edward eyed me cautiously as I glared at him—I couldn't help it—and sidled up towards Edward. All blond haired, I-can-be-innocent-if-you-want twink, casually flipping a coin from one of the casinos as he approached. Edward looked at him curiously, and I kept back, waiting to see what would happen.

The boy-man—I really hoped he was legal— shuffled up to Edward and looked up at him with a wide bright smile.

"Hi," he said. I snorted to myself. Kids these days; is that the best they can come up with?

"Hi," replied Edward, friendly and curious. And, I realized, clueless.

The kid realized he needed to work a little harder and stopped tossing the coin, holding it between thumb and finger. He leaned closer to Edward, who leaned back, trying to maintain a space between them.

"So," the twink persisted, bringing the gleaming gold coin up to his admittedly hot and pouty lips and tapping them with it. He looked up at Edward through his eyelashes and asked with a pseudo, innocent bite of his lip, "If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

I snorted again. Really?

Edward looked perplexed. "Well," he began uncertainly, glancing at me. "Statistically, I think that the odds are fifty-fifty for heads or tails, so..."

The kids eyes brightened and he stepped closer so he was brushing up against Edward, who was trying to lean sideways away from him.

Enough.

"Scram, kid, he's not interested." The boy blinked uncertainly at me for a moment then realized that I meant business and skedaddled away. I watched him disappear into the crowd only to notice just how many other guys were looking our way. Jesus, I was never lending Edward any of my clothes again. The man was a magnet.

Edward just looked at me, puzzled. "Weird kid," he offered with a shrug.

Oh, yeah. Weird all right.

I thrust the fresh beer into his hand and took a good long pull of mine. Was it wrong that I suddenly wanted Edward locked away where no one else would be able to see him, only me?

We leaned a bit closer and talked about the music, the things some of the guys were wearing. Edward had a keen eye for details. It was the subtext he seemed to completely miss.

Before long, the muscled hunk, who had been eyeing us from the other end of the bar, sauntered over. I sighed. We should have stayed at home.

He took one look at me, saw my glare and fixed his attention on Edward. Stopping in front of him, he managed to stand so that his impressive chest and arms were shown in the best light and flexed just enough to be noticed.

Poser. He waited just long enough for Edward to notice—which he did—fixing his gaze on the impressive pecs clearly defined by the tight tiny tee before dragging his eyes away in polite embarrassment.

Oh, Edward, he wants you to look, you dolt. What was I going to do with him?

Edward met the muscle man's bold stare and swallowed. Hard. Damn it, did he really find all that steroid-induced muscle mass attractive?

"Hey," He-man drawled in an Earl Jones' voice that might actually be real. I tried to imagine him with a squeaky voice and swallowed back a laugh. He-man ignored me, zoning in on his target.

"My name's Tom." He flexed again, his pecs jumping under the fabric. "Shall I call you tonight?" Edward's gaze had been drawn back to the chest-with-a-life-of-its own in front of him.

"Huh?"

He-man looked annoyed. "Shall I call you?" he repeated, disgruntled now that his best pick up line hadn't worked.

Edward just looked blankly at him. "Um, what for?" he asked confused. I didn't have a mouthful of beer but if I had, I'd have been wearing it right now. He-man huffed, turned on his heel and ponced away, hips swinging. I laughed aloud and Edward joined in. "He's a character, isn't he?" He laughed. Oh, Edward.

Eventually, the beers worked their way through and I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to leave him there unprotected, because he's obviously completely out of his depth, but he's a grown man and I could hardly insist he came with me. Well, except if I was going to … no, don't think about sexual activities with Edward in a bathroom stall.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I told him. "Will you be okay?" I couldn't help adding.

"Sure, " he replied, gesturing out to the crowd. "There's plenty to watch." I was more worried about them watching him.

"Okay," I muttered, not happy, putting down my beer and making my way through the crowd. I had a horrible vision of every man in the club seeing me put down my beer and leave, and taking that as their cue to make their move on Edward.

Don't be stupid, I told myself, he'll be fine. It's not as though he's the only, gorgeous, single male, standing around waiting to discover the joys of gay sex.

Fuck.

I pushed through the crowd. I was going to take the quickest piss in history and get right back out there.

But, it turned out I took longer than I'd hoped. I ran into a couple of friends and had to stop and catch up, a couple of fans spotted me and wanted to chat and the bathroom had been full of guys getting it on together. It takes longer to piss with a hard on.

I was so relieved when I got back and Edward was still standing where I had left him—blue lights from the bar making his shirt an even deeper blue—comfortably leaning up against the bar. Thank God, I'd brought him to an upmarket club. In some of the seedier places, he'd have been swarmed.

He smiled as I settled in next to him again, close enough that I could just feel his body heat and the occasional brush of fabric as we moved.

"You know, if the cameraman job doesn't work out, I could get work here setting up an information desk," he stated, sounding bemused.

Huh?

"The amount of people who have asked for directions or asked for help or just wanted to talk while you've been gone!" he cried. "You wouldn't believe it!"

Yes, I fucking would. I saw red. Guys had been hitting on Edward, my Edward. I had known that they would but hearing him say that... unconsciously I slid the half a step closer to him that would bring our hips into touching distance. Really, he was like a lamb in a lion's cage. I was going to have to explain things to him.

"Edward, those guys didn't want directions. They were hitting on you."

He turned his laughing eyes to me, not seeming to mind the new physical closeness, though a pink tinge to his cheeks that I could see even in the bar's colored lights showed me that he had noticed it.

"Very funny, Jasper," he said with a smile and a laugh, and I was about to assure him that I hadn't been joking when a tall, dark skinned man stepped in front of us and smiled a white toothed smile down at Edward, though he shifted position slightly to include me in his smile when he saw how close we were standing.

He was hot. Glossy skinned, high cheek bones, luscious lips. I could totally go for him. If I weren't hook, line and sinker falling for the man currently pressed against my side.

Mr Tall, Dark and Fucking Gorgeous didn't see my glare, or ignored it, and returned his attention to Edward, who appeared politely curious, but to my eyes completely clueless about what this man could want.

I felt an exasperated kind of fondness and almost wished he could stay like that. But he was such a target, I had to warn him.

"Hey, there, Handsome," Mr Tall and Dark spoke to Edward. I seethed.

"I was going to invite you to the bar at my hotel, but," he paused, running his chocolate brown eyed stare up and down my body. "I'd be happy to include the both of you in the invitation." His voice was a deep based purr, his stance provocative, his body tempting. A week ago, I wouldn't have hesitated, but now, I felt a deep protective anger that someone would blatantly come onto my Edward.

I remembered my pledge to allow Edward to make his own choices and gritted my teeth, clenched my fist around my poor beer bottle and said nothing in reply. Waiting to see what Edward would do.

"Oh, well, thanks, that's nice, but this bar is pretty good," stammered Edward in tongue-tied embarrassment. "Look." He waved the beer he was holding towards the dark stranger's face. "They even have my favorite brand, and that's hard to find, so I think we're happy to stay here."

Mr Tall, Dark and Completely Fuckable looked nonplussed for a moment but didn't back down. He absolutely had the look of a guy who always got what or who he wanted.

"I was thinking we'd just skip the bar and head on up to my suite." He stepped a little closer to Edward, rested a hand nonchalantly on the waist of his jeans and unmistakably twitched his hips towards Edward, the pull of the denim outlining an impressive package within.

Okay, it had all been unmistakeable to me anyway.

"Sorry. Like I said, I'm happy to stay here." Edward's voice was a little firmer now. A hint of aggravation, a dash of confusion and a whole lot of I don't want to make a scene so I'm being polite to you.

Oh, Edward, what am I going to do with you? Don't finish that thought, Jasper.

Tiring of the scene, I turned so that my body was at right angles to Edward's as he leaned somewhat awkwardly back against the bar and shifted that bit closer. Edward's hip now nestled firmly against my groin. No mixed signals to anyone else in the room now. He was with me. I turned my head to the dark stranger, and curbing my temper said, "We're not interested, goodbye." And gave him my best fuck off glare that was nowhere near as semi polite as my words.

Taking the hint, he backed down and nodded, striding gracefully away onto the dance floor moving in time with the music in moments. Goodbye, Mr Tall Dark and I Want to get into Your Boyfriend's Pants. Whoa, wait. Boyfriend? I felt a momentary hint of panic clawing at my chest. I didn't do boyfriends, not since... Edward and I weren't, we were just … Well, okay, I wanted more than a one night stand and I didn't want him to want anyone else and I wanted to see him every day and every night and… Yeah, okay. I could do boyfriend.

Edward was looking at me in anxious, turned on confusion. He could clearly feel my cock as it stirred awake, pressed against his hip and I couldn't hold back the minute rhythmic nudges that I was making with it against the taut muscles and hard bone of his hip and thigh.

He licked his lips, his eyes glazing slightly. "Jasper, what...?"

"He was hitting on you," I murmured, settling my chest against his arm. I couldn't get enough physical contact. It was like a drug and I was hooked.

Edward spun his head back to the dance floor in the direction that Mr Dark and Handsome had disappeared, an astounded expression on his face.

"But..."

"They all were," I growled, my chin against his shoulder, my lips inches from his ear. I put my forgotten beer down on the bar behind him and carefully threaded my fingers into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, pressing my fingers into his skin and loving the feel of it against mine even in this tiny amount.

Fuck giving him a chance to choose. He was mine. I was here first.

"So, what was all that with the coin, then? Heads or tails?" he asked, leaning his body in towards mine and turning his head so he could look at me.

I grinned at him. "Heads, Edward. It's a gay club. Most of the guys here like to give or get head."

"Oh, God! I feel so stupid." He wrapped one of his arms around me and was threading his fingers through my hair, too. It felt knee-weakeningly good.

"No, you're not," I mumbled into his neck, my breath ghosting over his skin. "Just unprepared. Next time we come here, you'll know what to expect."

"Next time?" I could feel his pulse hammering under my lips.

"Yeah, and I'll get you to dance, too."

He snorted at the idea then breathed a sigh as my lips made contact with his skin.

"Jasper?"

"Humm?"

"Take me home."

"Thought you'd never ask." Hell yeah, I was the chosen one.

* * *

><p><strong>I won't make you wait so long for the next one!<strong>


End file.
